Reiki Coach

Ralph

2012-01-05T15:33:00.002-05:00

Wow I am having trouble believing that I have been silent for the last 4 months. So many things have moved in and through my life at times I felt I was not keeping up with them, and most likely I wasn't!

It is the New Year and I found myself focussed on Love this New Year, not really a specific type of love; more that no matter what trials some people endure they continue to choose love. They continue to choose kindness... compassion, and genrosity.

I wanted to share a moment in my life today with you, just to spread the incredible awareness and peace that settled into my heart center today.

I was working with my last patient of the day, lets say his name is Ralph, he is in his mid 70's. He smells of mechanic oil and dirt and it fills my nostrils... he is a hard worker I can tell by the dirt resting beneath his fingernails. He is dressed in layers of clothing today due to the chill in the air sporting a flannel shirt, jeans, with a very large old and worn belt buckle, I imagine to myself it must have been from some type of rodeo riding event in the far past of his life. His gray hair is thick and wavy curling around his face and his mustach is long, manicured just enough but not enough to look pretentious, just enough to make life easier. His voice is gravelly, evidence of years of a smoking habit. At this point I ask him if he has ever been a smoker... This moment started no differently than any other moment for me each day as I take vital signs and personal information from the clients coming into the clinic. Ralph was a kind enough man, and as always I avoid much eye contact so as not to encourage much talking because the doctors are on time schedules....

Something in the way his voice cracked and raised an octive made me want to take my eyes away from the computer screen, but I held them still allowing him to move through whatever emotion had come up for him... So often I leave rooms with patients crying after they have told me some very detailed very personal story of loss and pain... I believe the doctors may think I torture these people! As I find myself not wanting to interupt the sensitive moment Ralph has I can not help but look into his beautiful somewhat faded blue eyes, Ralph has on a baseball cap, how could I have missed the incredible blue of his eyes before. Ralph began to tell me that he stopped smoking in 2005, the same year his wife died.

He held his breath, the room filled with a sadness and a need to communicate and I allowed myself to become the person I am... I asked why he stopped smoking when his wife died. He began to tell me that she had never liked him smoking, that she loved him far too much to want him to be unhealthy. Ralph said "I didn't listen to her, I always smoked outside because it bothered her so much... but I never listened. I am sure that her life would have been much easier if I had not spent my time and money on smoking; I have often wondered why God took such a perfect woman and left me..." His words trailed off into the space between us. I remained motionless and continued to look into the eyes of this man becoming really in love with his story and with the depth of feeling it was evident this man still has for his deceased wife.

Ralph then explained that he and his wife were married for 18 years and "We never had a foul word spoken between the two of us, never. Some people just don't believe me when I say that, but it is true not one time did we ever argue, she was the most perfect woman God ever put on this planet. She wasn't so much to look at, but she was really the greatest woman ever." Ralph's voice began to crack a bit more and the tears welled up inside his eyes, "I thought it would be easier to be without her as the years have gone by, it isn't, it really isn't, I have wanted to stop missing her I just can't." Ralph smiles nervously at me as a tear rolls down his left cheek. "I must take after my mother you know, she said that I should never be afraid to cry, she said tears cleanse the soul; I think my mother was a very wise woman." I nod in agreement. I murmur something about scientific experiments with tears and that they can tell what emotion is felt by the chemical composition of the tears, Ralph says, "Well that is really interesting. You know she and I were together for 18 years, we were both married twice before, but we both thought that the third time had to be the charm!" Ralph put a little more ooooomph into the last statement and smiled widely at me. "We used to go out to the farm you know and we would pick a bushel of peas and a bushel of beans and sit together in the middle of the living room shelling them and getting them ready to eat," he paused... "You know she really was a great woman."

My heart was aching for this man I had never seen before, I wanted to offer comfort, I wanted to know that he would have peace, I wanted to know that I could one day have the kind of love that Ralph had found with his wife. I think that Ralph knew that, I think that in some way Ralph understood that I needed to hear his words as much as he needed to share them. He said to me as I finished up taking his information, "Dont you give up, don't you ever give up. Love is there and it is waiting to be found, it is there for you; it was there fore me." I stand up at this point making my way to the door and he says it again.... "Don't give up." His face is wet with tears again and without any control at all, I turn and look at him and feel my heart jump up into my throat, Choking the words out I say, "Ralph I don't think I will ever forget you, thank you." Then I leave the room.

This moment took all of about 7 minutes of my time in the day. It shook my foundation, it was a direct message to me through one of the many Angels that God has placed on the planet to remind us that we are just never alone. I find myself believing that somewhere there really is a love that time will stop and lay down for.... just like the line in the movie Practical Magic. I find myself feeling hope, feeling humble, and feeling thankful that Ralph wandered into the office on the very day that I would be working with him... and here I sit in awe because this was just a 7 minute moment I wanted to share... just so that others could bear witness not only to Ralph's suffering but even greater his incredible love.

Thank you for listening!

2011-08-07T15:55:00.001-04:00

Depression and Reiki

I just watched the movie The Beaver. I wanted to write while it is still fresh in my mind and heart. I want to give Jodie Foster kudos, one for directing the movie and two for being one of the main characters. Mel Gibson plays a mentally ill character that Foster is married to. They have two children a teen age boy and one a gradeschool boy. Early on in the movie you realize that Gibson is a depressive (perhaps schitzophrenic as the relationship between him and the hand puppet develops), the movie actually starts with him being asked to leave their home, he finds a beaver hand puppet in a dumpster and this begins the story about the Beaver that initially appears to be a friend and a tool to Gibson to work with his depression.

The main focus of the movie is really the relationship with Gibson and the Beaver, yet the other main story line is of a woman that is willing to attempt to be non-judgmental of her husband as he tries to work his way through life. Foster continues to directly engage Gibson with questions and expectations that at some point the relationship with the Beaver will end; Gibson repeatedly explains it away or blatantly lies to Foster. Again Foster puts her foot down and leaves her husband.

There is a scene when Gibson is alone and he and the Beaver are actually at odds, there is a fight, an actually physical altercation with Gibson and the Beaver in which Gibson is physically hurt. When Gibson recovers from a black out the Beaver is there telling him that he is his only friend and that he is the only one who loves him. Gibson in the end uses a table saw to remove the Beaver puppet from his arm... by now Gibson believes the Beaver to be real and is unable to simply remove the puppet from his hand.

Foster remains true to her husband. She is in the background of the story line choosing love for her husband over the fear, shock, shame, and disappointment that are so obvious during the movie. She always chooses her and the children’s safety over Gibsons sickness, yet she never slams the door in his face. In an emergency she is there, even though the story line revolves around the mental illness in Gibson, for me it was Fosters character that seemed the most courageous. As difficult as it is for someone with a mental disorder to exist and be in the world it can be even more difficult to love a mentally ill person.

I personally have spent my life attempting to distance myself from people with mental illness. I have become angry at their inability to change, their lack of stick-to-it-ive-ness, their lack of compassion for the people they live with and claim to love, and the selfishness living with a diseased mind can portray. Yet, there is no amount of smug judgmental behavior that is any kind of a match for true chemical imbalances in the brain of those affected with mental illness. No matter how much the rest of us know, no matter how many suppliments, medication, medical treatment, energy and bodywork out there; we aren’t the ones living inside the mind that can believe a stuffed Beaver is real and must be violently detached from the body.

I have spent years walking away from people that were unbalanced. Years weighing the behavior of my family and my friends and my lovers against what is or is not healthy behavior. And I have time and again walked away feeling disappointed and empty.
My father was schitzophrenic, certainly his time in Vietnam created an even worse case scenario for him, he lived across the country from me in my young years so I never got to know him and in my judgment that was just fine with me, who needed that kind of a father anyway? I would wager to say my own mother has dealt with differing levels of depression in her life, my brother is also dealing with diagnosis that makes his life harder than I wish it was for him. My own daughter had shown signs of chemical imbalance most of her young life and as she matured these chemical imbalances became worse as puberty set in. She battles with her own mind daily and I am happy to say whether it looks like it or not she is on top of that particular battle and I am very proud of her.

Below are a few statistics regarding mental disorders. It is frightening to see how many people are truly afflicted and affected with a chemical imbalance. As I turned 40 this year I was dealing with yet another person that I cared for finally getting real about their own mental imbalance. I am hopeful that she has learned a great deal from her experience and I do wish her well on her journey. Since that time my brother who has been missing in action from my life for about 14 years has resurfaced. My mother and I are actually talking about healing our relationship instead of me keeping her at arms length. I have begun to re-assess my own part in loving these people and learning to keep love in the relationship even when it appears that mental illness is winning. It has become painfully obvious (at times) that it isn’t for me to run away from those that I love to keep myself safe from them. The people I have judged are still real and still loving me, so my lesson now is learning acceptance and love in the face of what used to frighten me.

overall U.S. 2002 cost of schizophrenia was estimated to be $62.7 billion, with $22.7 billion excess direct health care cost ($7.0 billion outpatient, $5.0 billion drugs, $2.8 billion inpatient, $8.0 billion long-term care). (source: Analysis Group, Inc.)
Today the leading theory of why people get schizophrenia is that it is a result of a
with an environmental exposures and / or stresses during pregnancy or childhood that contribute to, or trigger, the disorder. Already researchers have identified several of the key genes - that when damaged - seem to create a predisposition, or increased risk, for schizophrenia. The genes, in combination with suspected environmental factors - are believed to be the factors that result in schizophrenia
The Prevalance Rate for schizophrenia is approximately 1.1% of the population over the age of 18 (source:
) or, in other words, at any one time as many as 51 million people worldwide suffer from schizophrenia, including;
6 to 12 million people in China (a rough estimate based on the population)
4.3 to 8.7 million people in India (a rough estimate based on the population)
2.2 million people in USA
285,000 people in Australia
Over 280,000 people in Canada
Over 250,000 diagnosed cases in Britain

www.schizophrenia.com/szfacts.htm

At least 2 million people in the United States have this illness. When given proper treatment, most people with bipolar disorder can lead more stable lives.
http://my.clevelandclinic.org/disorders/bipolar_disorder/hic_bipolar_disorder.aspx

The most important thing to remember at this point is that there is no winning or losing with mental illness. It is just what it is and people who are living with the diagnosis of a mental condition are not purposefully striking out at those they love, it is actually a manifestation of the disease itself. If I can keep that one single truth in mind perhaps I will lovingly accept my family with just as much compassion as I can a stranger, because in the past I believe I have actually had way more patience and compassion for people I do not even know.

Reiki assists me in delving into ever deeper levels of finding forgiveness inside myself. I can not imagine that I would be in this place in my life willing to mend relationships with family had Reiki not found me.

Creating Space with Reiki #3

2011-06-05T09:00:00.003-04:00

I worked as a nurse on 3rd shift at the time of my first Reiki class. I don't know if you know about 3rd shift, but it is usually the shift that creates more stress in life for people due to the daylight sleeping and mal-alignment with friends and family who work during the day and sleep at night. Your whole life turns a little backward. The night before I was to leave for my Reiki class weekend I began to feel pretty poorly during my shift and made a doctors appointment that afternoon wanting to go home and sleep before I made the trip to Tampa. I was given the diagnosis of confirmed strep throat. GREAT! I chose to drive over to Tampa anyway, I needed the credit hours for nursing continuing credit.

Interestingly one of the attitudes (stubborn-ness) I have worked to balance is the one attitude that got me to Tampa in the first place, I felt terrible. I slept and slept and woke up early Saturday morning making a plea to God, I felt even worse than I had the night before. I said into the hotel room air around me, "God if my eyes do not open 10 minutes before that class starts, I am simply going to lay in this bed and sleep until theis weekend is over." I promtly laid down and fell asleep. My eyes opened at 9:50 that morning for a class that began at 10 a.m. I went to the class, and I was miserable. I can't really imagine how I seemed to the other participants. I was grumpy and growly and felt incredibly bad. Somehow my Reiki teacher recognized that I was in need of some kid gloves, she intuitively knew that if she pressed me too hard to participate in the class or pushed for me to give verbal answers to things about myself she was going to lose me. I was the lucky one though, because I was so filled with defensiveness, rage over what had transpired in my past, and simple anger and sadness that it most likely oooozed out every single pore, and she was sensitive enough to recognize how really fragile I was at that point in my life.

At the time of this monumental Reiki class I did not believe in angels, infact I believed that they were a mass hallucination on the planet! So of-course my Reiki master talked about them, and encouraged the students that weekend to pick up an angel card and read about the angel, and I adamently refused to do so. The class went on and on with my ego making regular appearances. "This is b.s., this is impossible, you already know about this, these people have no idea what they are doing, that teacher lady is wierd." If a judgement could be had I was having it, along with feeling badly, it made for a rather uncomfortable day. I couldn't wait for the class to end and get back to that bed in my hotel room, but first we had to become initiated into the healing system by attunements. GREAT! I not only was over being there with complete strangers, now someone had to touch me too. As my mind was wrapping itself around each concept that was being shared, my ego stalked the concepts like a rabid beast looking for anyway to break down the truth into a lie, I felt a bit like a ping pong ball. Little pings and pongs of truth were making it down inside the angry facade that I had unknowingly created to protect myself. I had gone from anger and disbelief to fear and hope, an emotion that I was really uncomfortable with.

We were given instructions on how to prepare for our attunement process. We sat serenely with our hands folded into prayer positions and I silently waited, okay; not absolutely silently because that rabid ego of mine was screaming RUN! At the time I felt so much fear I was shaking. I don't remember which moment it was that Spirit took over the process, but it happened. Because of the years of meditation I had previously studied, it was pretty easy for me to get into an altered state of awareness, my body seems to lock down and then at times I had been given to visions and information from the Spirit around me. At the touch of my Reiki teacher my body was in the lock down phase, ego screaming RUN!, and electric light shows and visions flitting across the surface of my mind. There I sat wondering and waiting, the visions became vivid and subtly the most gigantic angel I have EVER come across came into my field of vision, he seemed to be bigger than the building! The golden robes were all I could see and at the same time I was completely aware of the entire angel's being and the words and healing that were being poured into my heart and mind. Tears came, emotions flowed, and all I wanted to do was sleep. I wrote as my teacher had suggested after the attunement. I felt bigger somehow, expanded, and I almost ran not walked to the basket holding the angel cards, the angel I pulled was Raziel, and for me it meant an awful lot at the time. By the end of the weekend my strep throat was completely gone, my Reiki teacher had shown me kindness and compassion, I learned that I had not been the only person hurt by an egotistical spiritual teacher that abused their position and wielded pain and suffereing. Most of all though, I heard the sound of Spirit begin to stir within my heart and that was just like coming home.

It is interesting how through challenge and contrast many of us find our ways back into the innocence we were born with. It was through the contrast of my egoic experience, my pain, my drama that I could see how differently things could be and how I could strive to be a story of success and courage rather than yet another person in the ranks of the abused on the planet that had fallen into the cracks and stayed there. Reiki comes to the heart of humanity in an individual and special way. It whispers of hope and peace and reminds us through the 5 Reiki principles that there is indeed another way. Reiki and the practice of it's ideals in our lives opens up and encourages the use of intention in our daily lives. Of course it is a choice, how, when, where, and why we use Reiki is as individual and numerous as there are living beings on this planet and beyond this planet; yet it comes. Sometimes it finds us and shakes up our lives so loudly we are deaf after all of the shaking and rearrangement. Sometimes Reiki whispers to those of us willing to search and be silent enough to hear. Sometimes Reiki comes like cool and soothing spring water, washing the dust our own boots have kicked up, right out of our eyes leaving clarity and a sense of direction. However Reiki comes, it creates space in the mind and the heart for the budding of a new seed of hope. I wonder... how will Reiki bloom within you?

Creating space....

2011-05-19T17:51:00.001-04:00

Reiki began it’s soft and gentle whispers as I worked in a nursing home in Klamath Falls Oregon. A nurse there practiced the healing art, I had never heard of it before and didn’t think too much of checking it out due to my interests at the time. I was involved in a spiritual group that didn’t really encourage newcomers or information gleaned from outside sources. One day after reporting this particular spiritual group to the authorities for inappropriate actions, I remember hearing the state patrol officer telling me “You stay away from anything like this, especially that Reiki stuff.” It makes me giggle now when I remember those days.

I did heed his warning, I stayed away from any kind of spirituality for a couple of years as I began a lengthy healing process for PTSD. Reiki kept finding it’s way to me however, through articles on healing, conversation, and the constantly repeating word Reiki in my mind. When I finally gave in to the call to study Reiki it was through continuing education in nursing. I actually thought I went to the class to prove how impossible Reiki and hands on healing could be! I went armed with my logic, practicality, and nursing background, and none of that prepared me for the incredible and healing experience I was offered by Reiki and the universe.

You see, in my mind I had lost the ability and the space to welcome spirit into my life or my experience. I had no trust and I had no belief. I had become bitter and egotistical about anything that had to do with spirituality or spiritual teachers. Spirit had whispered to me my entire life, yet I slammed the door down and refused to ever open it again. The attitude served me well as I really did need the wall of protection that my small-minded beliefs were giving me at the time. In fact I had lost the space for anything in my life, no space for goodness, comfort, relationships, and very little space to be a good mom; my perceived wound took over my life and I was utterly depressed and bereft at the time I took my first in person Reiki class.

Little did I know but through the years Reiki had been making space for itself inside my life. I believe that I had been called as an intermediary in which people found peace and comfort as they shared their concerns and hurts, My children were toddlers when I went to nursing school, I was young and confused, and in many way a broken person. I didn’t believe in myself and often used other people’s opinions of me to define myself; the problem was everyone around me was invested in my failure including me. After I came to Florida I felt lost and alone. That is when Reiki called me to a continuing education class in Tampa Florida. My life changed that weekend, Reiki powerfully moved disbelief, pain, and years of hurt just enough to take a firm hold on my heart. Many miracles came into my life that weekend and I can't wait to tell you about them!

This is the second in three articles about Reiki creating space stay tuned for more!

Creating Space with Reiki

2011-05-01T19:06:00.003-04:00

With even 11 years of Reiki practice under my belt I still find myself looking at my own re-creation in my life and the spiritual path that Reiki has become for me. When Reiki called to me in my 30’s. My focus at that time was getting my life in order and healing the many things I felt were “wrong” with me. I was a mother of young children, a life partner, a nurse, and a survivor of PTSD, among other things.

Reiki found me and I began to put the many shattered pieces of myself into order. Even as I struggled through my own mind and judgments; Reiki was there, gently guiding me. In some times it had been the only place I found solace.

Now as June approaches I find myself approaching the age of 40. Many people love to tease their family and co-workers about being over the hill and washed up, yet I don't view it this way. At this point in my life I am still a mother of early 20 something children, I am a partner to a sweet and very kind lover, I remain a survivor of PTSD, and although I have added massage therapist, clinical hypnotist, and qi gong instruction to my tool box I am still getting my life in order. And each wrinkle and line, each change to my body and sometimes to my mind are evidence of the lessons I have learned and the loves that I have shared and sometimes lost, but each moment has created who I am today and my capacity to forgive on even deeper levels myself and those who may have wronged me in some way in my life.

The one thing that has changed however is the thought process that something is “wrong” with me and that I am broken or malfunctioning. What I identified as sick and wrong so long ago I now realize is the action of war within my own being, and I am happy to say that I no longer consider myself the kind of warrior willing to berate or malign the temple of my body or mind with unkind thoughts and words. I have laid down my weapons of sharp edged thought and piercing memories, I have put to sleep the idea of remaining in a barred cold prison built seemingly by my parents and life’s early experiences; when in truth it was only real because I believed it could be. Because I never knew another way.

I have unknowingly begun to create the space for God to dwell deep within me. With each feeling that clutches my heart, each thought that twists my stomach; I know the kindest thing is to gently nudge the truth out from the fear that still lives in the cells of my body. To allow the light to shine upon the things that my own mind lovingly buried so that I should not suffer deeply and daily for the travesties and hurt that had been my past. As I move gently through the process I have begun to invite the light, and the Creator of the light, even deeper into my life experience.

The practice of Reiki is still my tried and true friend and confidant. A place to find solace and peace, a place that can never cause any harm. Reiki is a place that nurtures the gentle and kind practice of less worry, less anger and of kindness to the self.

This is the first of 3 articles of Creating Space with Reiki, more to come…

At war within

2011-03-22T19:31:00.004-04:00

I don't often take a stand on political issues, and even though the inspiration of this post comes from our new found war with Libya, the meaning here is meant to be individual and uplifting to ourselves.

I have noticed myself feeling reactive about the recent events on our world horizon. It has drawn me to the deep inner truth that if my world is at war, perhaps I am currently at war within myself.

The more I consider the possibility that I am at war within myself the more I am noticing the ways in which that is true for me. I have begun to have some allergies to foods and have begun to experience the achyness of what appears to be fibromyalgia. The more I delve deeply into the meaning of what these two things are and how they seem to affect me the more I understand that in some ways I am reacting to my environment via allergies and discomfort. As I am in the process of unravelling myself I have begun to find so much more compassion for me and all of the things that I may not know about myself. I also am really impressed with how effectively my body has been communicating with me regarding my surroundings and the foods that I ingest.

Perhaps the way to invite compassion on a global level is to invite compassion and peace first within ourselves. Perhaps each time we begin to feel as though we must judge ourselves or the experiences we would rather not have; instead we can lay down our weapons of mass destruction that we have been subduing ourselves with; and create a kinder way to access and heal difficult and challenging energy blocks within us.

If we truly want our world to change we must first feel the peace within ourselves. To feel peaceful within we must begin to understand and forgive ourselves, less explosions and more kindness and love.

That is my two cents this week, lets all uncover the barriers we have created within ourselves that turn our hearts and minds toward war within, and begin to prefer inviting healing and light deeply into our lives.

Just for today do not worry.

Just for today do not anger.

Just for today be kind to every living thing.

Just for today be thankful.

Just for today do your work honestly.

All My love!

Reiki, Japan, and all of US!

2011-03-13T12:02:00.007-04:00

Often when teaching Reiki we talk about the 1923 earthquake that devastated Japan and pulled Usui Sensei into the public arena of healing and teaching out of dire human need. Usui traveled and taught to assist his people in recovering after the massive blast that shook his country and the hearts and minds of his people. Usui stepped up and out into the public because of the need for his knowledge and compassion, and because of his people's need to feel relief and comfort.

Here we are 88 years later looking at the devistation of the people of Japan again. Many people are calling out that this is the end of days, that things are taking a turn for the worse, and largely that the world is on a path of certain destruction. I have no doubt that throughout history and throughout this world, people's fear becomes so large that they see earth-changes as a bad omen and the "end of times". This is not the first time those words have been whispered from the lips of our brothers and sisters as the Earth evolves and changes.

Usui stepped out with a tool to assist his people to find comfort and ease, and he practiced compassion in his work through teaching and his service to human kind. Because Usui was who he was and because he was willing to teach others I have been afforded the opportunity to share his system of healing with hundreds of people.

It can be easy to forget our center and our universal love in the midst of chaos and destruction.

This is a shrine on Mt Kurama, the mountain where Usui did his 21 day retreat and was given the knowledge of the system of Reiki. I have used it to gaze at and to see the beauty of Japan, to ignite my certainty that I do have something to offer on a global scale; because of so many brave Japanese people throughout the years.

Perhaps this is time to honor what has been given to us and offer our services to our global community through distance and hands on healing. You may notice that in the past few weeks your dreams have become more vivid and you are feeling as though you have worked all night long. For those of you that are lightworkers you are being asked to work with the planet and it's life in your night time hours. It can feel challenging and exciting to know that you are helping people even when you are sleeping.

Remember to offer yourself healing daily in your waking hours and offer to yourself and your world the kindness that the founder of Reiki was so generous to share with this world. You are a part of the legacy that Usui shared with the world and you are most certainly needed here, whether you are carpooling your kids to school or on the front lines feeding the hungry and easing discomfort.

YOU are the light of the world... always remember!

What is the truth?

2011-03-03T15:18:00.003-05:00

One of the buddhist beliefs is to remain un-attached to anything... a teacher, a job, a partner, a home, a thought, etc

It is one of the most incredible things to see or experience the way a buddhist monk painstakingly works for hours to create intricate and beautiful mandalas made of colored sand, then in the end to sweep it away like nothing special at all.

In some ways it feels as though the years and incredible focus that I have put toward my research, my active healing work with people, my personal healing work with myself, the identities of mother, nurse, therapist, intuitive, partner, lover, and teacher are like the sand that a buddhist monk with a generous and compassionate heart; creates beauty and intensity in a mandala with. And just like the incredible art of mandala creation, the hand of the Great Spirit is sweeping through the colors and facets of my life asking me to lose my attachment to everything that is less than reality.

And my Ego is being swept away.

These days the moment I attempt to identify and define myself I find everything in my life re-organizing to show me the folly of the thought "this is me".

My human-self wants to believe that I matter because I can.... (fill in the blank.)
My ego wants me to believe that the confusion and the discomfort that I am feeling as I question my attachment is actually pain and certain death.
Which lets me know I am most certainly on the "right" track.

The seeds that Spirit and I have planted within me will not grow and flourish with garbage and stones blocking the growth. Everything I have thought I am, everything that I am, everything that I will be exists always... Everything I teach myself and call reality is like garbage and stones blocking the light of the sun, truth has never existed out side me and I honestly believe that is the teaching that Spirit offers me these days.

Whatever tool we choose to work on ourselves with, at it's core; is something that was created to remove the lies and fallicy of life and outdated belief systems handed down generation to generation. For me Reiki, hypnosis, past life regression, Spirit Release Therapy, chanting, meditating, yoga, Qi Gong, art, aromatherapy; give me really powerful tools to remove the veils that hold me from the truth that Spirit whispers to us all each and every day.

"Everything is as it should be, there is no separation"

Just as this whale dives deeper into the waters, I too find the need to dive deep within my subconscious to find the obstacles that I place in my own way. To find the very things that keep me feeling small and separate. Thank goodness like this whale and it's family pod, I am not alone, I am supported not only by Spirit and family, but by the incredible work that others who have gone before me have done. In the end there is no separation and that is incredibly soothing during the lesson of non-attachment!

Our Agreements

2010-11-22T19:03:00.000-05:00

Agreements are the things we make daily with ourselves, our families, our co-workers, and society. They are the unconscious voices inside our minds and sometimes inside our very hearts that help us to function in the world.

As lightworkers the agreements that we make often define who we think we are in the world. Making an agreement to heal the world is a large endeavor!

Some of us are aware of the agreements that we have made regarding healing our community, and yet a larger part of us are not aware of the conscious agreements we have made; and even more important may be the subconscious agreements we make without even a clue of what we are doing or why.

This is the time of the year that heralds the harvesting of our past year's endeavors. It is also the time of the year that is most ripe for us to look at the things that are not working in our lives and evaluate anything that is draining us of precious time and energy.

As the Winter months approach it is a time for self reflection and going deeply inside ourselves to prepare for the next cycle. Many times in the hustle and bustle of daily life these natural flows are not noticed or celebrated, yet they remain important to us all in learning to manage ourselves and our agreements.

Questions to ask yourself are:
Are my agreements to people in my life more important than my agreements to myself?
Are the agreements that I uphold as a global light worker for my community balanced with my own personal self care?
Do I feel drained after I have said YES to an activity to help others?
Do I have a daily self care program in place and do I follow it no matter what is happening in my life?

If you are feeling drained, taken advantage of, or as if there is not enough time to get things done for other people and you consistently place yourself on the back burner; you may be dealing with some agreements and self expactations that could be altered just a tiny bit to support your life and your healing work. We don't want to throw out the baby with the bath water... we just want to find the path of least resistance when searching for a balance in our healing and lightworking activities and our own personal health.

Good Luck!

Growing and loving it!

2010-11-13T14:08:00.005-05:00

It sure does seem that life has hit hyperactive speed as the changes in my life pass in front of me. Last year at this time I had finally made a firm choice regarding relocating to Lakeland, it seems like eons have passed since that time.

Incredibly I am on my way to becoming a house owner, something I never really believed I would do. I left the only job I ever really liked to go to everyday due to the relocation, and I loved my job mostly because of the incredible co-workers I had, and today I am on the precipuce of starting a completely different job doing something I have never done before.

This year I have seen both my children graduate highschool and take college classes. I have lost a lover and a dog. I have stepped away from numerous friendships that became toxic to me. I have been told that according to my blood work I have anemia, tachycardia for which I have started medication, and most recently my blood work ruled out lupus and rheumatoid arthritis, therefore fibromyalgia is on the table. I have also lived through loved ones suicide attempts and mental illness. I have cried harder, stretched further than ever out of my comfort zone than I ever have in my entire life. (Up until now you would have thought I had been through enough). I have stepped away from my office and really held back from working my business due to personal and family trauma. I have seen Reiki Masters made, and succeed beyond mine and their own wildest expectations.

I have said NO to people that I never thought I would, and I have said YES to special people that I never truly understood.

More than any of this, what has become so evident to me is the hand of God upon my life. Never before has God showed up for me in such a 3rd dimensional life altering way, at least not when I have been this grounded and conscious of it.

I have traversed the waters of Blue Springs with my family splashing about in the healing waters. I have seen cassadaga with a very special person and even shared a hot fudge Sunday. I have been witness to the healing of the Gulf with Dr Emoto and my sweet and brilliant friend Kumari. I have been invited to spend time with wonderful friends that make a kick butt margarita! I have spent time in the aquarium and whole foods in Tampa (woohoo!) I have attended one day retreats and 4 day seminars. I have a great new friend in my dog Eli and his new brother Malakai. I wake up daily to the sunrise on the lake behind my home. I dream of meditation gardens and jasmine to be planted in my yard. I welcome this new job and all it offers me.

With all of the loss and turbulence that has been so center in my life since 2007, as I look back I wonder how I stayed put together, how I continued to raise my girls, how I kept myself sane.

The answer of course is God, my devotion to my calling of being a teacher, the beloveds that have entered my life, and my devoted Reiki practice. My life is truly blessed and my only wish is to live it in the way that anyone watching can feel that blessing and take some for themselves.
That is all any of us can really offer. That someone else is uplifted in our presence without even uttering a single word. That is truly a God Touched life!

Here, Now, Today!

2010-10-02T11:27:00.002-04:00

This is what the sky looked like right above the Gulf Water Blessing that Dr Emoto and my friend Kumari did for the damage to the water and the animals in the Gulf due to the oil spill.

We spent a delightful day hearing them both speak before we went to pass-e-grill for the blessing. The sky turned dark gray and black, but right above us this was the incredible picture. I wanted to share that moment with you. That was a day that I won't soon forget!

Updates on Eli!

He is still getting big!

He has monsterous paws, well okay not monsterous, but large anyway.

He loves people.

He loves stuffed animals and the snowy fuzz they contain as he gleefully

deposits it around the floor of our house.

He deals with baths, but they are not his favorite.

He pushes people with his nose when they walk through his penned area.

(I'm beginning to think he is coralling everyone.)

Most of all though he is my teacher and my friend.

Being a student of energy for going on 20 years now...

This little guy has taught me more about

being in the now moment than any teacher or technique.

In the study I have embarked on reading Cesar Millan training books

and watching his National Geographic show,

I have witnessed time and again the power of the moment of now.

Eli teaches me each day about being in the now,

it is so simple for me to understand.

Dogs take this day and this moment, they don't worry or fret over the future or the past.

If their owner is fretting the dog becomes an immediate and direct mirror

for the energy of that thought process by pulling on the leash, getting excited and jumping at people, barking uncontrollably.

"The human is un-grounded!!!"

the dogs

scream with their behavior,

what tattle tails!

Eli simply yanks on the leash as if he has somewhere to get to,

pulling me along,

my focus in the beginning was that I needed to get him under control; but the reality was that even during a simple walk,

in some parts of myself I was out of control, in the future or in the past;

but certainly not in the now.

I have had incredible opportunities to learn about Reiki Energy

during our walks.

Eli never lies to me about me.

For years I thought about how wonderful it was for dogs to put their trust in the humans,

what I have learned is that I must place

trust in Eli on an equal level,

our relationship is symbiotic. Even though he looks to me to provide

for his needs and safety,

I rely on him for his companionship and protection.

He is still young, infact he will be 5 months old tomorrow!

I am happy to have the opportunity to share my life and time with such a noble companion!

I look forward to more lessons with

Master Elijah of the Crystal Waters....

Thats his big long name

sounds fancy doesn't it?

The new arrival!

2010-08-07T18:05:00.004-04:00

3 more days until I return to the world of working a full time job. The last two months have consisted of continuous and sometimes arduous planning for the relocation of myself and my family to Lakeland Florida, let alone the sheer brute strength of mind, heart, body, and soul that accompanies any move of house and home.

I have been planning the relocation of my world for over a year now. Planning for the move, the job, the family, and to re-introduce my Border Collie Australian Shepard mix, Sadie; back into my daily life. I left her with my ex 3 years ago when I relocated my family across town, we couldn’t have dogs at the time. Our agreement was that Sadie would come to be with me when I was able to have pets again. I have to say I had been eagerly awaiting her daily smile!

As the time came near my ex had other ideas about surrendering my dog to me and in the end, I hate to say it, Sadie is not living here in my home with me. I had a very hard time at first dealing with what I perceived to be someone that went back on a promise. I felt betrayed, used, and ultimately lied to; but as many people say exes are exes for a reason. I consulted my good friend Kumari of http://www.kumarihealing.com/ who works with Reiki and Animal Communication. I wanted to know where Sadie stood with the decisions that were being made around her.

Through the session it was clear that Sadie considered me her mother and also had a tie to my ex as she felt she was needed to help with healing in her current home. She lacked the ability to make a decision between two people. Sadie is not a Pack Leader dog, she is a follower and the concept of choosing for herself confounded her. Currently Sadie lives in a home with 7 other animals. My hope had been to have her with me as the only four-legged pet in my home, (even though I had been feeling and seeing a puppy and Sadie together for a few months before the move) so that her last years she would feel comfortably dotted on. I figured the puppy would come in a year or two after she had been here with my family for a while and we had shared many fun adventures together.

My perception of what I found to be a better option for her really fell flat when my ex said that Sadie would not be living with me. Just for today do not anger flew right out the window as I attempted to make sense of what was happening. I was certain that Sadie was going to be here with me, why on Earth would someone keep a dog that was not theirs? Alas she is here in Spirit certainly, and she did come for a field trip with me once before I moved so she could see where we would be living.

In the end I have found some peace because I believe that she is in no danger, her life is not the optimal life of a dog like her, she certainly does not get many field trips or adequate exercise, but she is needed and loved and I can finally find a place to begin to forgive myself for leaving her there in the first place, there had been other options when I left 3 years ago, but an agreement was made and I trusted that agreement. 1st lesson is get things in writing!

Moving right along… now we are here in Lakeland. My desire to share my life with one of the canine species was still strong as I was grappling with my disappointment and sadness. In walks the universe!

I took a trip to the local SPCA to just look at dogs; I really wasn’t set on getting one right away. I was set on finding a puppy that would be soft like Sadie with the same kind of quiet regal gentleness that she has. There were not many puppies there that day, apparently it was cat season, I kept seeing a puppy running past the door at the end of the hallway and I said to myself “No, that is a gladiator dog; it couldn’t be the puppy that is calling me.” I glanced at the dogs in the cages but still felt myself pulled to visit with the sweet energy that was utterly oblivious to me outside that glass door.

I made my way to the back door and requested to meet the pup that was outside with one of the volunteers. I got down on the ground and called the little guy over to me. It was evident that this little guy had quite a full and open-heart energy. He seemed eager to please, and I even felt the same type of gentle energy that resides within Sadie. He was calm when I lifted him into the air. He was bright eyed and his coat was soft. Before I knew it I had fallen helplessly for this sweet little gladiator. My roommate hung back watching as the minutes unfolded and began to realize that yes indeed this was the pup that would be joining the household.

I spent quite awhile outside with him trying to talk myself out of what I felt was going to happen next. We were told that this little guy had been brought in on a truck just a day before from Louisiana, a casualty of the need that the Gulf Oil Spill has caused, animals are being shipped to nearby states so that the SPCA’s in Louisiana could keep up with the demand they are now facing. I was handed his papers and I decided that before I actually made the decision to adopt this little gladiator I would give the grown animals a try.

We walked down the row of adult dogs that were there, although some were precious and beautiful, no one captured my attention or engaged my heart energy the way my little gladiator did. I promptly found the people I needed to and I filled out the paperwork to adopt him. I was not allowed to take him home that day, he needed to have his Gentleman’s surgery, so we spent the evening gearing up for his home-coming which included a trip to the bookstore to find a book on puppy rearing written by my idol Cesar Millan.

In hindsight a few things have become clear to me, no matter what we perceive, life unfolds the way it unfolds, we have no control. It is how we handle each challenge and disappointment that counts. My choice not to fight over Sadie, to let go of control, hurt, and heart pain that has nothing to do with her but has everything to do with the relationship my ex and I had, allows me to enjoy the spiritual relationship I have and always will have with Sadie. It also allows me to heal on even deeper levels from a relationship that hadn’t been working for years and years. It has given me the ability to understand that had Sadie come to live here from the beginning of this relocation journey, my little gladiator might end up in the hands of someone that would possibly not be as responsible or as prepared to handle his specific breed.

Sometimes I have the idea to apply Reiki to the situations in my life wanting the outcome to be the thing I desire, sometimes it is easy to forget that there is a universal plan that flows for everyone’s highest and best good in the midst of disappointment. In my life I have held the belief that everything happens for a reason for so very long that the change in plans regarding Sadie has allowed me to sober up some. To surrender to the flow of my life, and to allow myself to be happily surprised and awed about how things unfold in the perfect timing for me right now, is a breath of fresh air that I have been wishing for. Besides, who is to say that Sadie may come to live with me after all… only time will tell.

And, now I would like to introduce to you to my little gladiator!

Releasing Grief with Reiki

2010-06-13T13:25:00.003-04:00

Grief comes in many forms, from loss of a favorite pendulum, to loss of a friendship, loss of a relationship, and loss through death... each level of loss holds it's own challenge and grace.

How we move through this is just as individual as each of us are. Some people busy themselves with tasks and some sit in silence bound by the tears that echo the devastation felt in their hearts.

The gift of Reiki is that no matter the style of grieving there is always a way to choose to accept healing and light into an experience that seems to lack just those kinds of gifts.

Many people hang on to the energy of their object of grief by continuously focussing on the loss. Difficult as it may sound, it is the releasing of the need for this energy that will begin to lift the spell of pain and sorrow for ourselves and all of the people involved.

When we allow ourselves to elevate our grief to a space of healing and self knowledge we can gracefully move through the need to hang on to other people's energy we have been using to fill ourselves; and learn to love the time we have had, and the new kind of relationship that is available to us as we allow the past to be the past and stop trying to breathe life into something that is robbing us of our peace.

Daily Reiki practice invites a receptive quality that is often pushed away in times of distress. Grief will most often cause a person to want to be isolated and protected.

Daily Reiki practice creates the foundation that people can use to move gently and honestly through loss and all the feelings that come with it. Offering a consistent, genuine, and loving option to diving into the depths of pain. If we find ourselves lost in the depths of our own pain, daily practice gives us the tools to be open to the guiding and loving light that Reiki represents.

Grief allows us to clearly see our lives, illuminating the good and the stagnant areas that we might not other wise be aware of. It allows us to surrender to the greater flow of life and to learn to ask for help. Grief can be a gift that encourages a balanced and healthy flow of friends and loved ones who take up the gauntlet for us as we heal.

Grief illuminates our own areas that need healing. These "blind spots" become evident all too easily. Choosing to be loving and sweet with ourselves with daily Reiki practice and weekly Reiki treatments can not only increase our sense of inner peace and love, it can strengthen our resolve to live freshly the life ahead of us.

Being aware of the need to release the energy of the loss and the people involved will assist you when you are setting the intentions for healing and for your life.

Being aware of the possibility that you are willing to learn from your relationships, come to peace with what has happened, and to forgive anything that feels negative or keeps you stuck in the past is a powerful boon to your personal healing.

Grief is as individual as our finger prints, it is necessary, it is healthy. When the experience of grief overpowers and superceeds the good or healthy experience of life it has become a hinderance to health. An increased awareness of grace, love, and forgiveness is necessary. When we cease to function we detract from our life, our light is hidden, and we suffer, feeling lost and alone. Reiki offers us a choice to prefer light, to prefer health... to grow through the good and challenging times.

Healing Crisis... Why do I feel bad?

2010-01-06T18:53:00.003-05:00

The beauty of healing modalities like Reiki is that they are so simple. In fact I have yet to come across a modality that is as simple as Reiki. The deep healing that comes along with such a profound system includes actual transformation of your living system which is at least a fine tuning of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual reality. At most it is a complete healing encompassiong total system alignment resulting in greater health and well being.

The interesting part is that people just do not truly understand the way some healing works. When we are new to a path, no matter what the path is, there is a time of adjustment and self assessment. When opening the doorway to knowing the inner self and healing the inner turmoil many of us harbor within our minds and bodies it is time to make adjustments. The moment we realize that we are in need of healing many of us can envision sudden and complete healing, as if a magical wand is waived over our heads and things are simply; well, better!

After Reiki sessions you may have incredible feelings of openness, wonder, and bliss. You may notice that things that used to bother you no longer do. You may notice that life feels easier and things take on a much more beautiful elegant glow. You may notice that your aches and pains have eased and possibly disappeared! You may notice healings in relationships around you, or a desire to heal the relationships you are in. You may notice that your world is changing right before your eyes as you INTEND to usher wellbeing and happiness into your life.

Now picture if you can a bottle filled with water (that is you). Also picture hundreds of colored sands (these are emotions and experiences). When we come in to our lives we are much like the bottle of clear pure water... as our lives unfold, imagine pouring different colored sands in one after another. Our body doesn't really choose one experience over the other as good or bad to pay attention to; however it does begin to store these emotions and experiences as we begin to judge them. If you are really paying attention to this exercise you may begin to notice that the sands of our experiences and emotions start to compact together, so that the first experiences and emotions are in much deeper layers of our being than the more recent ones.

Reiki is like the hand that lifts up the bottle and begins to move it. Only the top layers will begin to move, grain by grain of sand... We might not be very conscious of the things we have stored inside our being. OR... We may be very conscious of what we are storing there as we have tried to ignore and overcome our past, and we may recognize what we have been doing is just not working.

After Reiki sessions you may also feel emotional, tired, angry, sad, or flu like. Infact there have been deep healings where people have become nauseated and run to the bathroom. Joints may ache more as the sands of our lives are disturbed and released from the body. You may not recognize yourself or the people in your life. You may suddenly not understand how your life is working or why you have the people in it that you do. These effects are just as natural and necessary as the effects that make you feel blissed out and in love with the world.

When we ask for health, healing, wellbeing, and happiness... we are asking for those things that are hurdles to that goal to be revealed to us. We are simply asking to be shown what is not working... and being given the opportunity to take steps to alter our path to a more harmonious one. This means dealing with how we want to feel and how we feel but do not want to feel. Reiki leaves no stone unturned.

I leave you with these thoughts and words to begin to possibly rekindle your desire for balance and grace through bodywork and healing modalities that offer you opportunities for growth. Happy New Year!

Namaste'

Loving what was, and is, and will be!

2009-11-27T19:58:00.006-05:00

Here we are again... Thanks-giving just hours past and Christmas comming round the bend. Here we are rushing, laughing, playing, creating, cleaning, living... Here we are.

The New year is the most incredible day for me. I prepare in the wee months of each year to welcome in an even better year then ever before. I have spent many years cutting magazine pictures for the vision board of the comming year, hours of meditation, prayful reading, soulful journaling... even some lucious chocoholic activity seems to sneek in.

This year is even more poiniant for me. I am starting this year alone. For the first year since 1996 I am a single woman. That is not to say that I dont have loves in my life or even lovers... people that love and adore me... people I love and adore, but this year I am not tied down to the identity of being the other half of a relationship... or a committment... I am just me... This year I am committed to being wholeness... or halfness... or in a relationship with myself that I intend will bedazzle and electrify self love... self adoration... a lucious and juicy loving of myself the way only I can give to me. This year I inted that I will not only allow myself to meet my needs but I will enjoy the path with my lovers, loves, friends, family... but most of all with my solitude... with myself.

I have been incredibly lucky to have found this fabulous artist and I wanted to share her work with you. This is how I see loving of others and of myself... the energy moving around and through me. This is how I believe it should be... how I know it to be... These illustrate the incredible world of energy loving and healing....

ARTIST is: Julia Watkins

Breathing Reiki into my being through my energetic centers I am open to this new year and to the ending of what has pasting... Breathing and moving energy through my body and my heart center I am thankful for all the lovers, and all the love that have always filled my life and I so look forward to the even deeper and more inspiring life that is unfolding even as I write this.

I can't wait to share even more... freedom!

The Hermit

2009-11-12T10:25:00.005-05:00

The archetype of the Hermit has been with me since I was very young.

Perhaps it was the distance that was created by a mother that was not completely whole. Perhaps it was the underlying expectation of perfection and constant striving to prove she was better than those around her, simply because she felt so lost within... so utterly useless and meaningless. Perhaps her own upbringing with a distant mother and alcoholic father created the holes within her that she strived to fill with the appearance of being perfect... of having it all. Finally, when my mother really met her children and realized there was an individuation process that didn't really fit into her idea of how life should "look", her idea that children should be seen and not heard and always do what she wanted them to, perhaps it was that moment that the Hermit came to me.

It was in my very formative years that I understood that my comfort and safety did not come from my own mother... that I had to look elsewhere... it began the lifetime lesson of lacking trust in those people outside myself. Very young I retreated within myself to a world filled with psychic abilities, the realm of the Fey, to a world that illustrated what was unseen was more real and evident to me than what words fell from the lips of mere mortals, or what i could see with my own two eyes.

As my life unfolded I kept my own counsel. Yet I also wanted so badly to be loved that I put myself in many dangerous situations. I never felt that I was worthy of this world. I felt different, broken, and wrong. I spent time alone... even when I surrounded myself with other people. I had become so adept at reading the energies around others and being what they wanted me to be, that I never had to feel as though they could see my pain and lack of worth, I learned to be a safe and strong place for the people that I loved. Knowing for them that they were completely worth the time and energy I was spending... knowing that they deserved to feel whole and safe, yet somehow I never felt met... all my hoping and knowing took a back seat to their own lack of ability to step beyond their boundaries and pain. The Hermit has always whispered in my ear... keeping to myself... keeping my own counsel... taking time away from the world to stop the feeling of rawness that being with other people had seemed to cause me to feel.

The shadow principles of the Hermit are to hide and be anti-social just to keep you safe.
As I have grown through my years... I have come to the precipice of learning my worth many times. Coming to the logical reasons that I "should" love myself, the Hermit is the part of my archetypel community that I take solace in. Giving myself time to hear my own thoughts... and I honor this. Also, I have had the great and wonderful opportunity to embrace a beautiful community of friends that have become a much kinder mirror than the keeping of my own counsel can be at times.

Even so I found myself waking up in the throes of feelings of fear this morning. Fear of my individuality, fear of my spirituality, fear that my talents are wasted working a 9-5 job.... fear of everything that is and is not happening in my life right now. I had a moment of such pristine reality when I began to dutifully question myself about the voices screaming at me of my incompetance, that my breath held still within and without me. It was a moment of clarity unlike any I have had in quite awhile... and in the yawning chasm of fear that threatened to swallow me up whole, I realized that I am still finding a way to love and accept myself. Layer by layer.

All these years of knowing the worth of strangers, clients, family, and co-workers; I am still uncovering my own worth layer by layer. As I continuously dismantle archaic thought patterns and behaviors that have long ago ceased to be important to anyone but my own ego, I have thought that I am oh so much further along than I had been. The Hermit was there, enticing me into that safe place hidden behind a waterfall of healing waters. To the safe cave within me that gives me rest and serenity... the one place where my thoughts, emotions, and spirit can rest... the place where eternal truth dwells because I am silent enough, still enough, sacred enough to become available to my own connection with divinity.

The hermit archetype has been my friend, my mentor and my security for many years and I honor that archetype for it's shadow self and for it's brilliant shining light. I honor the silence that The Hermit reminds me to take within myself to become centered and clear in my experience of life and divinity. I honor the knowledge and energy of this archetype within my life. I also honor the moment when the Hermit backs away from me encouraging me to feel the sun on my face again and experience life with more zeal and acceptance than ever before.

Each journey into the sacred cave brings more beauty and awareness and a greater yearning to become that which I so readily see in others. To recognize and feel the eternal light that shines within my own soul... that is my journey today... tomorrow.... on and on... eternal.

As if no one had ever touched her before...

2009-11-04T14:01:00.004-05:00

Imagine if you can a brilliant love affair with beauty, sweetness, innocence, loyalty, and unyielding love. A relationship so pure of intention, so genuinely connected that it dwarfs any challenge in it's path. Now imagine that you are in that precious relationship... imagine if you can, allowing your divine goodness to shine in any relationship you have; unhindered by any pain, hurt, or frustration.

It seems that I have so many different directions to go with this months writing that I may just not know where to begin. Perhaps that is the best place to begin. It is so very easy these days to be pulled away from listening to our own intuition and connection to Spirit with the responsibilities that loom around the corner. The holidays and activities of daily living can require so much energy as we juggle the weight of our world and everyone else's too.
I have to say that Reiki is my blessing and my great teacher as October has been a month full of challenges and opportunities for growth. My daily practice of Reiki does give me a stable center to build my life and thoughts around. I will be forever grateful for that gift.

This month I wanted to make an offering to you. I am asking you to get a little out of your comfort zone and really choose to see yourself and your precious heart if you can. Whether you are a Reiki practitioner or not, doing mirror exercises can assist you in building intimacy and compassion for yourself.

Often we have more compassion for a stranger than we do for our own hearts. Your challenge if you wish to accept it is to get in front of a mirror. A mirror large enough that you can see yourself, that you can really notice yourself and all aspects about you. Your eyes, hair, your shape, your hands.... everything.

So often we want attention from our families and lovers, living our lives wishing to be seen, or at least feel as though we are being seen... that maybe someone actually cares about us. Wanting to feel special... yet our inner dialog often is set around how we are not measuring up to what we think we should be doing.

So get a chair and take some time to sit in front of a mirror. Place your lovely hands upon your heart and really breathe. Allow your lungs to fill fully with gorgeous fresh air and gaze into your own eyes. Really look at yourself. Pay attention to how you feel, what you like and dislike about yourself, and keep breathing. This is some of the most intimate work a person can do because you are actually giving yourself your hearts desire... YOU are consciously choosing to see yourself, to pay attention, and to make yourself very special for these private moments.

You are answering your own prayers with this exercise. While gazing into your own eyes say "I love you, I really love you... and I am happy you are here." and then imagine if you can, that no harm or pain had ever existed in your life. Imagine that the person you are gazing at has only ever been touched, loved, and cared for by love and peace. Feel your innocence fill you as a sense of wonder and peace. Then breathe deeply and take in the good feelings. Using a journal with this exercise can assist you in clearing out any negative thought patterns you may be having. Just keep repeating "I love you" and breathe in that precious feeling of truly being loved. You will be surprised how much more energy and patience you have when your own prayers are fully answered! As a Reiki practitioner you can use this exercise and add Reiki Beaming to it to deepen the healing process.

Have fun and let me know how it goes!

Reiki, loss, healing

2009-10-26T17:38:00.002-04:00

The call came at 8:30 on a Tuesday night as I was en route to pick up one of my daughters from school. My other child had just attempted suicide and for all I knew she had succeeded. There was no thought in my mind for a moment, as I picked up my cell phone to dial a friend to go and check on her. It was erie really, not knowing if her last breath had been taken, not knowing if I would ever see her again; yet strangely as I drove my car to pick up my daughter, I felt calm. Knowing I could not be in two places at one time I surrendered her to God and to the highest and best good as I waited to pick up my child and head to the hospital.

There were few moments of panic or confusion, there was simply a profound quiet within me, I remember being impatient to reach the hospital; yet I continued to breathe... I continued to just notice that I had not become hysterical and I really was waiting for the time that I would breakdown, become crazy, grieve, be angry, scream, or even cry, but that time never came. I kept expecting myself to bring Reiki to the table... to be the Reiki Master and take over the energy of the space uplifting and transmuting all of it. Instead I just waited, watched, and kept breathing.

The nurses and hospital techs came in to check on my daughter who was suffering from an over dose of common house hold medications. Tylenol, midol, benadryl, ibuprofen... Hours passed and I felt the pull of my older daughter who had chosen to leave the hospital, yet I stayed waiting, for word on my youngest daughter's condition and what was happening to her internal organs. That time finally came and I was told that they would have to admit her because her toxic levels were too high.

She spent 40 more hours on the antidote for tylenol. That was the time I broke down, the only time that the tear really broke the surface that first night. When it was clear that she had truly damaged herself, I felt the fear of the possibilities of organ damage and a lifetime of treatments. This time her act almost extinguished her beautiful life. I still wondered about Reiki, offering it to her, to the hospital, to the staff... yet I just sat there watching her vomit over and over and over again. After 2 1/2 hours of vomiting, at 3 in the morning I left, I knew she was in good hands and I needed some rest.

Mothers can be fierce when their children are in danger. Fierce when someone or something attemtps to come between them and their children, and here I was understanding that there is no fighting that I could do to take away the kind of inner pain that someone must feel to attempt to take their own lives. How could I protect her from herself?

Where was my Reiki? Why wasn't I actively using this wonderful tool that I have come to rely on so deeply?

I have realized through this opportunity for growth, that it was my daily Reiki practice that I have honed over the years, that had stored enough energy to move me through this process. I realized that through a daily practice of Reiki I had learned to allow and to truly submit to what was happening around me. I could surrender to the thought of the loss of my child and also to the possibility that she would choose to stay here on this planet and choose to heal. I let go of my expectations and gave over to her process, her pain, and her desire for wanting better for herself. After all, she was the only one that could make a difference for her.

Reiki was not really far from me that night... it was within me, strengthening me, and helping me to allow others to assist me in my process, so I was available to be there for my daughter. Some people were just there for me, helping me remember to eat, offering a shoulder if I needed it and I am thankful for that.

Growth is not always a beautiful simple process, sometimes true growth and forging of your soul is done when the fires are at their hottest.

In a beautiful way Reiki assisted me in finding the higher aspects of such a stressful and turbid situation. I am ever thankful for all of you, Reiki, and my life!

Finding gratitude within

2009-09-26T09:11:00.007-04:00

I love Autumn. For years this time of the year always found me excited about Halloween and pumkins, carving them, eating the candy, and the Friends Together Halloween camp was always a favorite. Then there is Thanksgiving and Turkey and lots of cooking, all the while gearing up for the winter holidays... As the subtle changes in Florida take place with each season change, we really must go within to mark these changes of season. Here in Florida we have less outward appearances that the seasons have changed, yet if we listen carefully to our bodies we may notice a change in sleep patterns, a slowing down of the body and mind, a feeling of contemplation may begin to settle over us, and we may even notice a change in the outward focus of our relationships. For some even food preferences begin to shift.

Our society does not often teach us to pay attention to the wisdom of the body and apply it to our lives, yet I always feel better when I heed the internal clock and choose to listen intently. A daily practice of focussed Self Healing can turn this season change into your own spiritual retreat if you allow yourself to open the door to even greater awareness.

Expanding GRATITUDE can be very easy. We can easily look around our environment and see the people and things that we "have". We can have gratitude for our job, our lovers, our children, our friends. We can have gratitude for our homes, cars, boats, campers, even our furniture; I particularly love my bed! We can be thankful for our bank accounts, thankful for our animals, thankful for the world we live in... all of these things are wonderful and necessary in most of our lives. AND if you have been listening perhaps your heart has whispered to you as you have been reading these words that these things are external.

Many people stop at what they can see and forget to have gratitude for themselves in deeply profound and spiritual ways. What about being thankful for your strength of character or for your innate and fundamental ability to overcome tragedy? Can you allow yourself to even be thankful for the tragedy, for what you have learned from it, for how it has assisted you in becoming more truly YOU? When was the last time you stopped and became thankful for the absolute radiant light that your creator placed into every cell of your body, or your incredibly fascinating DNA that was hard coded to bring you through your life a better, deeper, more emotionally sound and balanced soul than when you started your Earthly journey?

This is a perfect time of year to take the spiritual practice of Gratitude within and create a deep inner communication with the exquisite beauty that lives within you... through this kind of daily practice you will begin to uncover things you never understood about yourself, depths of love and peace that have always been within you, that you never knew you could experience. It is time for us all to seek to know ourselves more intimately so that we can be in our world in a more certain, balanced, and positive manner. When we are truly grateful for who we are and what we stand for we can affect our world with even greater love.

Take 10 minutes a day and be grateful for your light, your peace, your inner strength, and the incredible love that was placed in your heart when you were first created... expand your view of yourself; and your world will expand and reach to meet you with even more joy, peace, and deeper levels of love than you ever knew possible.

Here is to you!

Simply Healed...

2009-09-09T19:35:00.004-04:00

I have been taking a new healing class recently...

I find myself wondering about all of the information that is being presented and what seems to be all of the rules that go along with this healing system. At a time in our society when stress levels are rising due to financial issues... keeping everything straight seems to be a way to create even more stress inside my life.

Now there are even rules to hands on healing.

I remember long ago when I began my Reiki path the most alluring and safe aspect of this new healing system was it's simplicity. The fact that I knew that Reiki could cause "no harm" was just the safety valve I needed at a time when I was supremely unsure of just about everything in my life... Reiki was indeed the one thing I could trust, all I had to do was show up with my hands and an open heart.

To this day the same thing applies to my life. Sure I have learned much more about Eastern meditative practice, breathwork, and energy systems and they have created life changing healing alone and when I apply Reiki to them, yet all I have to do is just show up with an open heart and the Reiki will flow each and everytime I want or need it to.

As I watch the people in my life running to keep up with the speed of their own thoughts, responsibilities, and percieved issues I know beyond a shadow of any doubt that the ability to know I can use my own hands to de-stress and to keep myself healthy is a boon beyond measure. Even more exciting and supportive is the truth that nothing is more user friendly and easy to give away to the people in my life that are most in need of a bit of peace or a safe place to release their own stress.

Reiki truly is a tool for life!

This, to me, is one of the most incredibly simple and "safe" healing systems out there. It is why I love to teach Reiki , because ANYONE can do it, ANYONE can feel better, and EVERYONE is always worthy of healing simply!

Isn't it time you allowed yourself to recieve some Reiki?

Going deeper

2009-08-10T19:35:00.003-04:00

As I sit here with my green smoothie... it has dawned on me that many people through out my life have thought that I was somewhat an extremist. I tend to dive into what I believe in and ask no questions, trusting that God has my back.

I have had quite a few friends and partners in the past that would call that sheer folly.... after all who devotes hours a day to yoga, Qi gong, meditation, prayer, teaching, journaling, and self healing? Who INDEED I say...

Jesus
Mother Teresa
Mikao Usui
Walter Lubeck
Carolynn Myss
Collette Baron Reid
Mary my pastor
Lora my dear friend
Henry Ford
Mohandas Ghandi
Nelson Mandela

The point here is that many of the people that I have looked up to in my life, Harriet Tubman, Martin Luther King, Maya Angelou, President Lincoln, Cathy Robinson Pickett Kilpatrick... and so many I can't even remember them all... they were willing to stand up for something... to be extremist in their beliefs. The world was changed by their ability to focus, to be extreme, to test themselves against the ebbs and flows of life and to touch people.

Green smoothie in hand, I can hear those people of my past say "Ewwww, who drinks their dinner?"

Well I do, sometimes... and everyday I endeavor to uncover the parts of me that have hidden in fear and shame since I was a child. I sit in a quiet space and allow my pain and my joy... if I have to be called anything I suppose that an extremist would be the greatest compliment I know.

I am ever so grateful that on August 15th the Usui Virtual Retreat will commence and I will find myself going even deeper within my soul than I give myself the opportunity to go on a daily basis. I will fall away from the spoken word, turn off my phones, and my computer unless I am listening to an uplifting radio show...

I will become even more simple, even more quiet, even more peaceful as I endeavor to hear my soul speak from the depths of my being. I will allow the hours of my work to be my service to the outside world and to endeavor to balance my spiritual world with my physical world. I will enter a dream time where the energies of the universe coalesce to create and even greater ability to accept and prefer health in my life.. I will fill my reservoir with Reiki and release all that I hold on to back into the flow of life.

I will be ever more present in the knowledge of myself and my relationship with Infinite Spirit....

How will you spent your Reiki retreat time?

Namaste'

Balance, Change, and WTF?

2009-07-25T14:42:00.004-04:00

I had begun to think I had lost my voice for writing and for teaching. Why? Well as some of you may know I am in the midst of the anti-climatic end to a relationship...

The important thing here is not that the relationship is over, but that I like myself when I look in the mirror. Obviously a mourning has to take place... and at times I find myself forgetting how an empathic person is affected by the world, let alone when they are having their own fray of feelings to manuever through.

I do recognise that change helps a girl grow. That unintentionally, living a life in service to family and partners without a clear understanding of self and self love, is... well at best a distraction, and perhaps at worst damaging to the soul. Apparently the EGO can survive well in the midst of that type of life!

Feeling off center, not quite sure of my purpose, and generally wondering when the feeling would pass has been an interesting way to spend the last month and a half. It never ceases to amaze me that no matter how much work a girl does.... there are always deeper levels to go.

I have learned that sometimes you have to be willing to just say the truth and let the chips fall where they may no matter what anyone around you thinks, says, or feels... what is true for you is simply just true.... well until it isn't anymore... that funny little thing called growth. I have learned that it is ok to focus solely on myself and to unplug my consciousness, my energy, my mind, and my soul from other people and their thoughts, judgements, and desires. I have learned... that too much dairy gives my a nasty looking rash on my face... I have learned that without Reiki, self hypnosis, and journaling... I might be insane rather that just somewhat off center.

Most of all though, today when I felt more off center than I have since all of this began I learned... that a tree is a tree. Now before you laugh and think, yup... maybe she is insane after all....

I took a blanket to a favorite place of mine, sure I packed my camera, my books, my journal... my cell phone too.... There I go hiking over to a very beautiful place and lay my blanket down in the midst of three large trees... Wouldn't you know I forgot my pens? Now what, no direction... no great ideas to write down... no great vomitting of old icky baggage out onto paper to help me feel better?

Instead of focussing on the thought that I had screwed up my little journey by not bring my pens with me I chose instead to surrender. I just sat there and allowed myself to feel. I allowed the tension and pressure in my body to drain away into the ground beneathe me. I felt the breeze on my skin... I allowed my diaphragm to relax and take in more air.... I sat... and sat... and sat... When I got tired of sitting I chose to lay down. I gazed at the blue sky through the tops of the trees and listened to the tree frogs and I relaxed myself even more into the ground... that is when I learned the golden truth....

A tree is just a tree... I followed the ridges in the bark with my eyes, along the branches, until they became lost in the green of the leaves. I became extremely interested in the moss hanging from the tree limbs, and the sky above... and even the sun that dappled my body through the folliage that I was lying under. There was no great force of shuddering, no golden light pouring through to bathe my body as the truth swept gently through my mind. A tree is a tree and it does not venture to become anything but itself, it stays firmly grounded and it stretches high into the sky... really when was the last time you saw a tree attempt to weave itself into a car, or a rock, or even to become water? A tree doesn't enter the race of to have's and to be's... we humans do that.

That was when it happened... I found my center, my joy, and my purpose... and here is the big secret.... I just get to be me... no more and no less... and no one has to approve of it... because I feel that as the days pass I will focus more on those trees... more on the truth... that I am here for my enjoyment, my growth, and my happiness... there doesn't really have to be any other reason.

So with a simple shrug... I will unplug and go make that beautiful sock eye salmon, green beans, and some lovely fresh french bread and watch a movie... just because I want to....

Who are you? Where are you? And have you found your joy today?

The Empty Cup

2009-07-02T20:01:00.005-04:00

One day, a university professor who taught philosophy went to visit a famous Zen master for tea. While they sat, the professor talked and talked about 'Zen' posing hypotheses, recounting what he'd learned, arguing with...

well, with himself...because while he sat there, talking...the Zen master was preparing tea.

The Master placed a cup in front of the professor, and one in front of himself, and poured tea into his cup, right up to the brim, but even as the cup filled, the master kept pouring...

Soon tea spilled over the sides and pooled on the table, which is when the professor said:

"Master - stop - my cup is full! "

To which the master replied:

"You are like this cup. How can I show you Zen if you do not empty your cup?"

I have spent the last few months gearing up for some big changes in my life. Gathering the information and ideas I felt I would need to support myself through such incredible life altering changes.

As I sat here today, feeling as though it was time to write, and wondering what on Earth I really had to say, I gazed out of the upstairs window... seeing tree tops and clouds and birds flying in the sky. The feeling I had at that moment was how much less complicated life is when we are above the cement of the world where the thoughts and actions live, moving around through our daily lives pushing and pulling ourselves and our desires.

More than preparing for changes for the past few months I have been preparing myself for the last few years. Consciously peeling away those things that stand in the way of my mind's liberation. My dedication to my spiritual path has brought me to this point...

The Ego says "The sky is falling the sky is falling.... it is the end of the world and life as we know it... run, hide, give up, give in, close your eyes, stop listening!" My ego remains ever more dramatic...

The truth in my soul whispers... this is the empty cup... trust... have faith... be not afraid...

I always enjoyed the Hatha yoga that I learned through a video tape that my Guru released quite a few years back. The knowledge that the true movement in yoga was in the stillness BETWEEN the movements has always intrigued me.

So many of us focus on what we are doing, forcing, or considering and making the mistake in thinking that this is where the true growth and learning comes from. When all along... the truth is always under our noses... the silence between the undertakings, changes, challenges, and opportunities is where wisdom is cultivated.

I am accepting the experience of my empty cup...

No pushing, no pulling, no forcing.... what a release of spiritual information is available to me in this process, I feel humbled by the experience and by all the souls that have assisted in bringing me to this place.

I appreciate your precious time and wish you the experience of a profoundly empty cup!

Namaste'

Changes...

2009-06-01T18:33:00.006-04:00

I have found that there is a great gift in teaching Reiki.

My gift is incredibly multi-dimensional.

It is change. It is health. It is the fluidity of the manifestestation

of energy within my life.

So often the teaching of a Reiki class is the jump off point for many changes and incredible opportunities in my life. I have realized that in teaching the ART class I opened myself up to the teaching and inspiriation of the Reiki energy and the special guides and angels I am so blessed to work with in a way that I never have before.

Being that willing to experience and allow the energy of Reiki and Spirit in my life has ushered me into the changes that are happeneing each day in my life.

Relationships are changing in my life. Most importantly the inner relationship with myself is changing and altering and has become somewhat mutable in a physical reality as my inner landscapes are altering and growing. My daughter has now graduated high school, our relationship is changing. My expectations of the kind of loving partnership I desire is becoming more clear, and therefore my relationship is changing. I am open to utilizing Reiki in my daily life through my working relationships with my co-workers, and thus I have changed as a nurse.

My relationship with my Spirit and Soul and my creator have again become so much more a focus of my life... spilling over into each corner and goal in my life. There is a certainty that exists in the stillness of the center of my being. The certainty guides me and moves me to eradicate those things that keep me from my path... from my soul reason for being here, and my human trembles at the challenges I face as everything changes while I follow the whispers of my heart and soul.

I know I have grown because even though my humanity wants to run from what is unknown... I have the courage to look the fear in the face and walk confidantly forward into a deeper more meaningful life path. Reiki echos within my soul the certainty that Spirit is not wrong, my soul is not wrong, and that as much as I am served, my world is served each time I choose my courage over my fear and inaction.

Cheers to all of you willing to follow your Spirit into the greater now!

Yummy-ness...

2009-05-25T18:48:00.005-04:00

Gosh, I really loved this weekend but especially today. I allowed myself to be with whatever my little heart desired. I allowed myself to feel as though my massage/healing work was play and was truly over joyed to spend some time of my day off nurturing another soul... getting paid was a bonus!

Working a daily job has taken me from the somewhat lazy... AHEM... life I led. Now I owned my own business and had a massage office and worked hard and sometimes not so hard... a lot of my work was worry about the bills and making ends meet... I am glad for that time to have passed. During this time I learned a lot about healing and facillitating safe spaces for my clients and I also learned a lot about advertising and how to set up sucessful business practice.

The one thing I didn't understand was the yumminess of life. I spent so much time following myself, my intentions, my integrity, and my bussiness around that I forgot to have some fun and take myself less seriously.

Stupendously it took making the decision to close my business and to free myself from all baggage and realtionships that are not serving me for me to find the yummi-ness within. Today was a yummy-day... filled with sunshine, pure water for drinking, meditative and breath work that comes from a tantric perspective, spending short but sweet time with my daughter, facillitating aromatherapeutic bodywork, and getting ready to finish an amazing and growth filled book... that was when the experience of yummi-ness really grasped me. Lying on my side in my bed gazing at the gorgeous green colors out side my window, the blue of the sky broken by the dancing clouds, and dappled sunlight filtering through the trees into my room.

I recognized this moment for what it was... complete and utter comfort... a moment that if I listened would chauffuer me into a deep sense of contentment. Soon I had laid down that beautiful book, laid down my busy mind at the alter of stillness... wrapped myself in my favorite soft blanket and drifted into a womb like state... 3 hours later I awoke refreshed and full of yummi-ness.

Working a daily job has given me back the yummi-ness of life... the utter acceptance of what is... the beauty of what it is like to take time that is meant just for myself and no one else... When was the last time you gave yourself the permission to drift into the womb-like stillness and be yummified?

I sure do encourage you to find a space of time, a day off or even a 20 minute segment of your busy day where you shut your door to the children and the bills and the spouse and the dog and the phone... and... and... and... and just relax... be... breathe... and yummify!

Namaste'

Advanced Reiki Training

2009-05-19T19:18:00.005-04:00

When I first became a Reiki Master Teacher I was so excited to get out into the world and teach as much Reiki to as many people as I could.

I molded my classes around the way I had learned and for years I used the very same manual my Reiki Master had used in my classes.

This past 6 months began a different level of teaching for me. At some point I realized that the manual I was using was not really showing my own personal flair or what I felt was important with Reiki and so I wrote my own Reiki level I and II manuals. They are still functional works in progress!

The incredible thing about this process for me is that I realized that Master Teacher was no longer a term that I felt was describing me. It was this year that I began to think of myself as a Reiki Master Instructor. This term feels more solid for my foundation and little did I know that it would also assist me to begin to delve even more deeply into my own Reiki practice and Reiki's roots.

I feel that this change came at the most synchronous time ever, as it was time for me to publicly teach an Advanced Reiki Class. I wanted more for my students than I had received during my ART class, more than I had taught before. I wanted my students to feel the Earth move and to experience energetic healing through every sense they had available. I wanted them to have a sense of being removed from everyday life and to take a step into illumined spirit filled healing.

I had the honor to craft a beautiful ART class that I believe is still echoing in the minds of the participants. I am ever so thankful for the experience of being able to witness to the courage, focus, and outstanding commitment that I witnessed this weekend with the talented individuals I worked with. Reiki never ceases to amaze me whether in a class room or healing setting, yet... humans with their hope, resiliency, and grace are even more amazing to behold.

I am thankful at even deeper levels for Reiki and the gift it has been in my life, and I can not wait to teach the more advanced levels more often!

Namaste'

Choices in Change

2009-04-27T15:11:00.005-04:00

In life we are gifted with opportunities. These opportunities are often called problems by many people. I have been lucky enough to alter my perception enough to search for the myriad of lessons within the opportunities that lifes seems to hand me, and to learn from them.

This is my Qi Gong Teacher Jeff Primack of www.qigong.com... We are currently on the 3rd day of the 4 day qi gong event... sooo cool and yet, I was unable to attend today... an opportunity visited me today.

I found myself faced with a choice... be-moan and cry over what I thought I was missing or to utilize my time wisely in a proactive and productive manner. I have to say that I spent some time be-moaning this opportunity... yet I stayed sharp for the other possibilities that might present themselves.

In the process of be-moaning... I visited on the phone with a friend I haven't talked to in months... we have missed eachother. I learned about myself and my own limitations and the ways in which life winds it's way around them to make them true for me... time to bust through some limitations. It never ceases to amaze me how life in completely separate houses can mirror itself so perfectly... time to stop managing my loved ones and manage myself... what a lesson!

So I had some sushi makings for lunch! Well before I did that, I applied Reiki to my current opportunity, and then I cleaned out my pantry... this was very needed. I haven't allowed myself much time to integrate after changing my life in a million different ways. I haven't given myself time to mourn some changes and to accept them simply for what they are... changes.

In all the time I have been on this conscious spiritual journey of mine... since I was 19, I have always understood that everything changes. Relationships change... even when we don't want them to... even when we tend to work with the changes we can't ever be sure the people we love will want the same things or be willing to do the same kind of work. As both of my children are either 18, or getting ready to become 18, I am recognizing that this mother daughter relationship is changing even more than I thought it would. I am realizing that they are ready for even more independance than this liberal mom was aware of, and that only I am really concerned with what is best for me and my good because they are currently concerned with what is best for themselves; they have not yet graduated into cooperation and team work... only time will assist in that.

I always fancied myself God's babysitter... always knew they were not MINE... just visiting for a few years and now I find myself with opportunities! Reiki is whispering in my ear to remember my center... different tools are drifting into my mind when I come across a mess that an 18 year old should have cleaned up, or an independant 18 year old attitude so magnifiscent it would flatten the kings of the old world, how can I withstand that kind of wrath? Well honestly they won't live with me forever!

My plans were to have this incredible journey in my qi gong event... to enjoy and expand each and every moment and today I find myself sitting squarely in the midst of the mundane world... so much for expectations!

However NOTHING can really top being on a stage in front of over 2000 people doing qi gong and feeling the incredible energy that 2,000 people can create together in goodness and health. Well I suppose being on a stage infront of 5 or 10,000 people might top that... maybe we will see about that!

Keep up the good work my freinds... opportunities withstanding... maybe you will be doing something stupendous and awe inspiring and it will carry you through your next learning opportunity!

The Way of Reiki

2009-04-18T13:52:00.006-04:00

The Way of Reiki... is the moment when you stop "doing" Reiki and you are aware of the lack of separation between you and this infinite experience of universally guided energy.

For me Reiki is an extension of the deep inner well that we are all aware of at times. Reiki happens to be one of my favorite ways to re-emerge into my world, fully refreshed and new, like a spring bloom.

Some believe that Reiki is a modality to be practiced when there is an imbalance in the human energy field. Something to "do" to undo the imbalance and lack of perception we run into as we live our human lives. Reiki for these people will tend to be placed on the back shelf and forgotten until that moment when the physical and sometimes emotional suffering seems to be greater than the practitioner, suddenly Reiki is remembered and illumined in those moments as a tool for freedom and relief.

For some Reiki has become something they chose to learn to help other people. The focus is so outside of themselves that the only time they remember this amazing tool is when someone they care for is in jeapordy.

For some, Reiki and it's principles have become a way of life. A new way to look at our world and experience it with new and forgiving eyes. To allow what is, to be... to allow all things to flow through our experience and remain the hollow reed. To let go of the good and bad judgements and to seek love, peace, harmony, and service each day. Reiki has helped to shape my life and my beliefs about myself and my happiness because of this. I only "forget" about this tool when I have cut myself off from the infinite connection of everything.

I practice Reiki on a daily basis. Self Reiki is so important in my life that I would feel blind or handicapped if it somehow was extracted from my experience. Each morning before work I do the techniques I have taught my students. I recognise the flow of energy into and out of my life, I find something to be greatful for, and I go about my day with glimpses of connected consciousness peaking through my work duties.

Yet, even in this I find myself forgetting to use many of the most powerful aspects of Reiki. I sometimes forget to appy Reiki to the challenging situations in my life, sometimes I forget to share Reiki with my family and friends, sometimes I forget to apply Reiki to my workspace and all of the people there, sometimes I simply forget the incredible tool I have in my life.

That is the gift of The Way of Reiki... that even though I have been a Reiki Master for 9 years now, teaching and sharing the infinite ways of how Reiki can make a huge difference in a person's life... I am still yet a student of the ways that Reiki can support and illumine my life!

Staying Centered

2009-03-28T06:59:00.005-04:00

Sometimes when I go to the beach I enjoy watching the sandpipers along the shoreline. They run and dart away from the waves while searching for yummy tid bits in the wet sand.

Some might think they live a reactive life... always running away from the waves. And yet they know the great truth that waves come and go... and they have to work within that truth if they want to get the food they need to survive.

Recently a student asked me how I can keep my center while working as a nurse and dealing with so many people on a daily basis, and personally I thought this was a great question because it came after a particularly challenging day in the office I am currently working in.

What I told her about being "sensitive" and this means energetically, is that if we believe that we are fragile because we are empathic or energetically sensitive then we believe that our environments can affect us negatively. It is in a way giving permission for someone else to have control over us.

Feelings and emotions in my belief are tools that the my Spirit uses to talk to me. When I am feeling happy, peaceful, powerful, and downright amazing then I am in line with what my Spirit and higher consciousness want for me. If I am feeling grumpy, grouchy, angry, and victimy... well then I am not standing in my Spirit Light and it is my clue to find out where I stumbled and do the work to put myself back in line with what is for my highest and best good.

Which doesn't mean that I wouldn't like to kick a certain doctor in the pants for being a brat the other day... that is my human side... or the fact that I gave up two days of my precious energy in a state of worry and contamination of my heart because of said doctor who may just need a kick in his pants.... and yet even that is giving away power to the bratty doctor!

The real truth is that due to the environmentment and being placed in a situation that I had not been trained for I lost my center and invited in this experience to remind me a couple of things:

No man or woman can hold power or dominion over my own thoughts ONLY I can.
Knowing a million spiritual truths and being trained in many modalities does a body no good if you don't get off your pity pot and USE them.
NO JOB is given or taken away by a man or a woman... our creator leads us to different experiences through many types of mediums.
NO man or woman decides WHO or WHAT I am or what I am capable of.

Like the sandpiper we can choose to be reactive to the waves of experiences in our lives, or we can move within the deeper truth that the waves come and go eternally, and it is our responsibility to remember who we are and what we stand for what ever wave comes our way. I am not working for Doctor Bratty Pants, I am working for a much higher authority. Coming back to that truth daily is the best way I know to keep my center and to remember that being a nurse in an office 40-50 hours a week is NOT my REAL job...

What is your real job?

Have a stupendous weekend!

Inner Strength

2009-03-16T11:49:00.011-04:00

Sometimes our lives seem not our own. As if bosses, co-workers, family, lovers, and friends push and pull us into directions that we would rather not go.

ACIM (a course in miracles) says that the only lack we need heal is the separation we feel from God.

I believe it is this feeling of separation from a creator that causes many people to separate themselves into neat and tidy socially acceptable pieces, and leaves them with a big fat hole inside their hearts and minds. One that often they have no idea how to fill.

I have noticed in these few short weeks of working in a doctors office that people generally don't expect the best, nor do they look forward to it.

It is such a foriegn way of looking at life for me, that I find myself somewhat taken aback, and as I sit here today being sent home from work for feeling ill, I am recognizing that I have been very lucky in my life. For the last five years I could go to work and look forwad to what I was going to do and I only shared my work space with myself and each client.

I believe my facebook friend Gary really said it best today when he quoted a familiar saying.

"It is easy to be a monk on a mountain top."

I have found myself slowly feeling infected by the words and the attitudes of an office staff that is just trying to make it through thier days. Just working to pay their bills and get what feels like a minute of relief. As though their lives are happening too fast and they can not keep up.

I believe that my life is universally guided and that each and every one of us here on this planet can make a difference to this world. I believe that I have been gifted with the experience of this job so that I can remember what it is like for people who do not have the tools, experience, or love that I have to share and offer. To remember that my strength is my spirit and the spirit that resides in each person, REGARDLESS of their own beliefs and thoughts and pains, is just as strong, beautiful, and eternal as mine.

Because of my own past and the feelings I have had about the medical system here in Florida I

have not wished to work in the field as a nurse, and yet I find myself in this job that challenges my rusty nursing skills, but more than that, I find my inner mettle being forged.

This is the time that the Guru sends the disciples away from the ashram. When they have been able to experience the love and safety of their creator in a controlled environment that always seeks the spiritual enlightenment and betterment of each spirit.

When one has been loved and healed enough, the Guru will send you into the world away from the safety and support of the ashram... because it is the presence of the true spiritual disciple that lifts up the spirits of others.

We communicate energetically the information we hold within our hearts, minds and spirits. The duality is... to be so true to the nature of the alter of our own heart and what we know to be true within us, that we can withstand a room full of doubts, fears, and pain. That we do not waiver or allow the seeds of doubt to populate our own minds and hearts.

This is my own lesson of the last 3 weeks. To remember who I am, where I came from, and who I want to be. To recognize that taking care of me is the most important thing I can do, and to take care of me my beliefs and attitudes MUST be aligned with the power and strengths of my spiritual fortitude and NOT be wasted on the drifting thoughts and words of those who have forgotten their own strength.

The photos above are mandalas I was inspired to draw for my clients. Each client has expressed that as they gaze at the images they have recieved the feeling of healing and spiritual support. I just love when Spirit speaks through art!

May your days be blessed!

Big Changes

2009-03-08T11:04:00.005-04:00

It has been two weeks since my life changed in a big way. I thas been two weeks since I last taught Reiki and had the honor to welcome more students on to their path in Reiki. it has also been two weeks since I got a brand new job!

Since that time everything has changed. I find myself with not as much time to ponder things, I have decided that idle time is truly the enemy of intelligent people.

Since that time I have also embraced a spiritual truth. A truth that perhaps we aren't always aware of, but a truth that exists none the less. This truth challenges me in a way that I have not been challenged and I welcome the depths of the lessons and growth that are occuring and that will occur because of it.

The truth is this: walk what we talk. Now this is simple and everyone has heard it before, but it takes on a new meaning when you shove yourself head first into new life experiences. When you give up the reigns of your life and the things you have always "thought" you were "supposed" to be doing to the forces that be. These are the moments that all of my preparation and knowledge and suggestions to my student and clients really hold weight.

Having my own office for 5 years really gave me the power to control my surroundings. Giving up the office and returning to the work force means letting go of control, assuming that my higher power and the creator of all things has my best and highest good at heart. Working in a busy doctors office, where my entire focus is on what I am doing, which client I am seeing, and what my doctor may need from me has brought me fully into the present moment. Honestly my mind has no time to wander into the past or future because I have so much that I have got to do and remember. I come home with energy from the day, I go to sleep earlier because physcially my body needs the rest as I adjust to my new 5 a.m. waking schedule, however my mood has lifted incredibly.

Yet I still have kids and a home and animals and friends and... and... and... I find myself wondering how to juggle groceries and family time and cooking and cleaning. I hear my therapist self giving suggestions and I recognize that I am currently my own client. After all these years of helping and suggesting and supporting my clients, I am now helping, suggesting to, and supporting myself.

I have realized that i make a choice each day to support my health and growth even while 8-9 hours a day are devoted to a job that really has nothing to do with my heart and spirit. My time is supporting me and my kids, but even greater it is supporting this moment... the moment of NOW.

My inner therapist and Reiki Instructor whispers in my ear the ancient and not so ancient truths of the language of energy and time management. I heed the voice and I take the time first thing in the morning to offer thanks for the day and offer my body Reiki and a nourishing meal so that I can serve the people I come in contact with in the best way I can throughout the day.

I write today from a hotel room at Cocoa Beach. While soft snores come from the bed as the last nap of the weekend is being taken. I feel incredibly blessed in this moment. That I have the opportunity to face my challenges and new experiences while wielding some of the most powerful tools for living that I have ever had the honor to share with people.

I am my own product my own sucess, my own masterpiece. To walk in honor and service and to allow the Creator Spirit into each endeavor is truly what it means to be in service. Whether in a doctors office, a construction site, a massage office, or an office building. The true reigns of our life are always with the force that is greater than everything, and relaxing into each part of life is the unyielding secret of happiness.

May your weeks be blessed and may you welcome your endeavors with love and enthusiasm!

Sitting on Tennis balls

2009-02-17T14:53:00.005-05:00

This is my gorgeous border collie mix... her name is Sadie. Sadie lives with my ex right now, we can't have dogs where I am, but I get visitation until that changes. Her sister Daisy is getting ready to make her transition, we have about 2-3 weeks before that time right now; but Sadie seemed a bit blue the other day and i wanted to spend some time with her.

Today I took Sadie to our favorite park and we walked and talked and I even got to lay on the ground. In Florida I don't try to do that much because I do not like the aggressive insects... but this park is heaven because we don't have that problem there.

And here I sit after a beautiful morning with my dog, on tennis balls and yes you did hear me right... my rump is a achin' and the balls help tenterize all that rump muscle, thank goodness something does. I am feeling that familiar raw feeling as I sit here. The feeling that sneaks up on me to let me know that the people I love most are in turmoil, and that unconsciously I am sending them energy, my energy, universal energy, ANY energy, and somehow not recieving as much as I could be to keep the balance.

I relized this as I slopped dirty water all up in my face and on my clothing while cleaning the vacuum cleaner. I sure did make a mess! This is one of those funny feeling days, a day that feels not all the way right; but there is no evidence of anything wrong. These are the days that I have come to recognize as a warning type of day. Wouldn't it be nice if the warning was a bit more clear than an uneasy feeling that seems to permeate my space?

Sunday I recieved a message from my great-grandmother via a really talented English medium named Geoff. I never knew her but it was evident that she knew about me. That she too shared my love of Infinite spirit God, and that she understood how much I honor my spiritual path. It was a nice confirmation of the work that I have done in my life and with my clients.

I have realized just now that my deceased dog Haven is hanging around, probably much like family does when a person is getting ready to make their transition to the other side. Perhaps Haven has come to be here and wait for Daisy to make the transition. Boy I miss my Havie an awful lot! Maybe that is what the "somewhat wrong but nothing is wrong" feeling comes from.

I am teaching Reiki this weekend and I feel great about that! We always have such amazing and meaningful classes and I always have such incredible clearing and healing time in the weeks before each class. I feel like I wanted to share that with you... that even though there are days that feel off... life goes on and all is well...

Healing is not always bright and shiny with cotton candy colors and visions of chiors of angels singing and swooping down from heavens curing all our ails... BUT sometimes it comes Damn close... and when it doesn't, we can just know that the deep residue of the unhealed parts of ourselves have heard our calls for freedom and balance. And when we are called to wade through that part of our process, finding patience is sometimes as good as it gets!

Magical Dragonfly Pose

2009-02-07T12:46:00.009-05:00

Today I spent about 10-15 minutes in DRAGONFLY pose while experiencing my yin yoga. My hamstrings and I were having quite a chat regarding why on earth I was directing them to let go of the knee and hip joints at the same time. That pose is specific not only to stretch the body, but to release fear and anger. It actually is one of my favorite poses... apparently I enjoy conversing with my hamstrings.

Yin yoga gives us the time to relate to our bodies. To take 5-15 minutes in each pose if we so feel led and to allow the constrictions of the muscles and joints to tell us our own story. What we realize as we give over to the experience of the pose is that the constrictions that visit us through not being able to touch our toes are not so much about our physical body, but have much more to do with the frame of mind we currently operate from.

As I become present with the sensations that occur when doing deep mindful stretching my emotions begin to float up from the depths of the areas of the body that they have been stored in by that magnificent magical librarian of our emotions called... our limbic system. This is the time that the deep grumpy conversation with my hamstrings starts.

"You can stop now" "This hurts" "Seriously you can stop now... you will break me if you keep stretching me." "Fine you just hate me don't you?" "I can't do this" on and on this conversation goes. I don't hide from it, and I do not seek to silence the voice that lives within my hamstrings. I invite the inner dialogue so that I can understand my body and it's needs and fears even more. I have not listened to myself for many years, just like many people... pushing through life unwilling to take a moment to listen to my inner needs, wants, or desires.

This has hardened my body, joints, and my mind in different ways. For the past 5 years I have been undoing this type of behavior through hypnosis largely, yet I find that sometimes I still fall back on my old habits. For many of us that have endured the abuses of life, we can function primarily on what we can do for others, how many toys we can get, and definitely what and who does or does not make us feel safe and secure.

To encourage my body to face it's restrictions and to allow the emotions of fear, pain, anger, and rage a space to speak to me, I am giving a voice to my healing. I am not judging that these emotions exist and I am not trying to change them at all. I am not denying their existence in lieu of something better or a distraction that can make me feel better by pretending that they are not there, on the mat, in my yoga practice, or even in other aspects of my life... ALL other aspects I am certainly sure.

As I stretch and breathe and validate the feelings of the voices that are releasing themselves from deep within my muscle tissue I choose in each second not to give up, not to run away from my own precious Spirit, not to deny myself the freedom of health. Perhaps this courage comes from being a survivor of molestation, rape, spiritual abuse, and familial abuse. Or perhaps this is the courage of my own Spirit that planned this life to teach me that I can grow and learn and love no matter what experiences come to me.

On my mat I practice courage and faith... in each second. I face myself, my fear, my beliefs and the beliefs of my tribe. I stretch my body so that I can stretch my mind. I stretch my body so that my body, my mind, my emotions, and most importantly so that my Spirit knows beyond a shadow of a doubt... that I love myself enough to be real and to take care of the little boo boos and the larger hurts. Bent into the dragonfly position I face my life in it's entirety... the good the bad... every single thing. Reiki flows and I take my time, because I choose me...

There is no more important moment. There is no more important date or task than to just be in communion with that which honestly runs my life. It gives me to opportunity to listen in consciously to how my sub-conscious mind is seeing the world and me. It gives me the opportunity to right old wrongs whether inflicted by myself or another...

I can not change what has happened in my life, but I can certainly choose how to view and feel regarding each hurt or pain that my body uses to attempt to shut me down and send me into hiding. I no longer choose to hide... and the Reiki flows and the healing happens and I breathe... and only do I relent when the voice has quieted to a sweet understanding that there really is nothing to fear. Then it is time to move into a different pose and face what it brings up for me.

After that wonderful time in my yoga practice, I practiced qi gong and then conscious annointing with very specific essential oils so that I could assist myself in releasing deeply and healing completely. And in the end of this time there is nothing but peace and bliss to greet me as my eyes open and I face today...

I am incredibly blessed!

Diagnosis... energy field disturbance

2009-02-05T09:44:00.008-05:00

According to NANDA, energy field disturbance is defined as the disruption of the flow of energy, or aura, surrounding a person's being that results in a disharmony of the body, mind, and/or spirit. (this diagnosis has been around since 2005-2006)

Nanda is the national board that figures out what nursing diagnosis is applicable to ALL nursing care. As I nurse I had to work with these while making out care plans.... oh LAWD did I ever excel at care plan making! This particular nursing diagnosis was adapted due to the increasing use of therapies like TT (therapeutic touch).

Cool huh?

I have a dream...

Really I do... my dream is that I get into the schools for doctors and nurses and attune their hind ends FAR before they become legal health care providers. My dream is that they become aware of the energy, orgone, ki, chi, qi, prana, ether that surrounds their bodies and makes up the stuff of their worlds! Think about that just for a second people... that the next time you HAVE to go and use the allopathic health care system that they not only understand the HEF (human energy field), but they embrace the fact that you are a practicing REIKI or Spiritual healer.

They recognise the importance of complimentary care and all you have done to further your education about the human body and it's systems. Your doctor takes a moment to look into your eyes, takes a nice deep breath with you and recognizes the need for relaxation and for preventative care that includes your wonderful daily yoga, Reiki, or Qi Gong program. She then says, "alright you have done a great job here... I am going to prescribe these antibiotics because we want to make use of the drugs that we can to get rid of this chest infection, but my dear it is clear to me that you have an energy field disturbance caused by not taking the time to get a good massage and meditate daily. WE must exercise our heart centers with self love before we can fill the cups of our loved ones. So that is my other prescription... meditation, massage, and love... keep up the good work!"

Seriously this is my dream and when I get that massage job in Lakeland working as a massage therapist in a brand spanking new medi-spa (you can tell I want this right?), I will be working with the nurses and doctors that 9 years ago I dreamed of training when I began my Reiki journey. OOOOOh changing the world one doctor and nurse at a time... sign me up!

The fact that the national organization that mandates the diagnosis for nursing care now included and energy field disturbance clause, well my friend times are changing. This is an incredible opportunity for anyone looking to break into the allopathic care system... I feel so encouraged and empowered to know that they can not argue with their own acceptable nursing diagnosis for care!

Rock on AMERICA and the forefathers of complimentary care methods in our health care system!

Today ROCKS!

There is a hole in my toilet...

2009-01-29T12:18:00.004-05:00

Honestly there really is a hole in my toilet bowl! I was not lying... And the hole in one, that the crystal candle holder made inside the bowl before afore mentioned hole in my toilet, was actually a stupendous feat... I am still wondering how one would figure out the odds of that happening. There must be some mathematician somewhere that could figure that out for me.

I read yesterday that a man shot and killed all 5 of his children his wife and himself due to losing his job. Sobering isn't it? I myself have had the flu since Sunday... and I still feel as though a train has whacked my backside.... ugh. There are so many people these days with so many stories and finding themselves pushed up against the wall of limitations.

I interviewed for a job about 3 or 4 weeks ago... great job at a brand spanking new medi-spa. They spent 25K on the massage room alone... can we say heaven? I want my fingers all over that! The interviewer said "hey I will call in a week and let you know what is happening." I waited a week and nothing happened, so I called... left a message left an e-mail... no answer. It has been another two weeks and my eldest said "hey mom did you hear from that job?" I said "well darling I left a message and sent an e-mail but I have not heard anything."

At this point I was how do they say it "schooled" in proper job seeking behavior by my daughter. Apparently times are changing folks, and the mission of a job seeker is to call 2 times a week until you have been given an answer. This reminds me of stalking somewhat, but hey why not try it? So I called once again, and actually got to speak to the interviewer... she will be calling for the second half of the interview in mid-february... now was that so hard to say? She actually said that she had not called anyone to let them know anything because she has been getting the building taken care of. I said thank you and I will be looking forward to hearing from you... yet my proverbial jaw is lying in the floor... why has she not communicated with the people that she interviewed? OOOPS here it comes...

This is when my "teacher" voice began inside my head.... CAN you hear it? You see I began making up a story inside my head... so old school. I began to be personally offended by my impending boss's behavior... by the fact that she hadn't cared enough to communicate. I mean what about me, what about my jobless state of affairs, what about the fact that I had to close my own business office in October and it feels like I have been waiting FOREVER already... doesn't this stranger even care? Let's get real... I am the one that cares... sheeeeesh! This is the time when humans, like myself, in my weakened flu-like state let the ego take over so that they can feel safe and secure in the knowledge that they are "right" and someone is "wrong". Because obviously my super hero Reiki Master self wouldn't be waivered by this kind of behavior... muahahahahaha... Byron Katie and Eckhert Tolle would be great neighbors right about now!

I know I know... My Inner Reiki Teacher is chanting words inside my head again... "If it is meant to be..." Well yes I know in the higher states of awareness that this job or any job that I apply for I will get because it is meant to be... here is the hard part... being patient whilst wondering how the bills will be paid. AND attempting to be comfortable with a hole in my toilet and malfunctioning air conditioning while living in Florida... glad it is winter here! Even healers, Reiki Masters, Doctors, Nurses, Ministers, contractors, millionaires, and poor people sometimes get a hole in their toilet!

These are the days when Reiki matters the most in my life. These are the days when everything I have learned and everything I have taught come to bear inside my own mind. I love to hear my students say well this and that... parroting things I have said whilst helping them through similar issues and they are right, AND, I also have to honor where I sit, how it feels, and work from there as well. The human is not quiet, but the human is important as well, and it is from the human perspective that we get into trouble when we don't understand the wants, needs, desires of the human experience, and the way we have ignored and judged that part of our existence.

Sometimes things just are what they are. We live in a dual world, black and white and all of the colors in between. It is in the ebbs and flows that we learn and grow. The interesting ride for me is, that I can choose to be hurt, angry, resentful, miserable, and broken... or I can choose to recognize that things can always get better, that everything happens for a reason, that this too shall pass, and that sometimes things feel like crap because they just do... but it does NOT mean anything... no one is being punished the world is not ending it is just a cycle... I can choose and in that freedom is born. Everything is energy and in an ebb what I can indeed look forward to is the flow!

I have to say my inner drama diva really wants a voice here, and the fact that I know that puts me ahead of the game so to speak, because I can dialogue through all of the fear and blame and shadow energy that I have not uncovered yet. That means that this is all good... the good, bad, ugly, joyful... none of it matters as long as we keep judgement out of it and move it. Gary Young said on a recent cd I was listening to something like this. "Let it go, release that anger and rage why hold on to it, it isn't any good for you. For that matter release that joy too.. let it flow in and through you..." the point is stopping something and attempting to hold on to it because we do not know when things will be better or holding on to something because it might go away is pointless. Everything is energy everything is in a constant state of flow...we have no control over that.

Thanks for hanging out with me today,

I wish you a great weekend!

Namste'

p.s. seriously... what are the odds of a hole in your toilet bowl made by a crystal candle holder?

Try everything once!

2009-01-21T10:02:00.006-05:00

Last night for the first time ever in an Introduction to Spiritualism class I tried table tipping. Those that know me would find it either ironic or hysterical that I didn't really believe anything would be happening with this so called "parlor" trick as so many of the informational posts on the Internet describe. The reason that they would find it ironic is all of my experience with discarnate/earthbound spirits... oy vey... another story for a different day.

Perhaps starting a bit more at the beginning of this endeavor I should make you aware that religion has always, and I do mean always, fascinated me. The ceremony and reverence I find to be so very comforting and the rules and judgements I find so very annoying... hey what can I say I am human. And yet there is a reality in my own life that has not been explained by any religious belief system until I began to study the religion, philosophy, and science of spiritualism. This is why I am taking this class, to find out what makes this young religion tick and how indeed they can call it a science... well let's just say I scoffed a long time about that particular belief! The religion of spiritualism at it's best is practiced simply to dispel the fear of death and to provide evidence that life indeed does continue after the change called death. Which I have been tuned in to since I was a young child... so you can indeed see where this is going!

Any hoo... last evening my name was called to "sit" at a table with my teacher and 2 other students. You place your hands very lightly on the top of the table and you quiet yourself, in attempt to connect with the highest and best good for yourself and everyone involved. Because I had never done table tipping before, well I was cracking jokes up the aisle to the table and I almost lost it during the "quiet" time. This isn't a new phenomena to me often times in the middle of a Reiki share I will burst out laughing when I am receiving Reiki... there is something that feels so comical about 6 Reiki practitioners standing around with their hands waving and working hard at healing me with serious faces... it makes me giggle almost every time! But I held my glee within me last night... yes indeed I did not burst out with a rancorous sounding laugh... and right when I thought nothing would happen.. bingo moving table.

My eyes immediately shot to the teacher... you know "parlor" tricks and all of that. What I saw was intriguing and I didn't have much time to process it as the table bounced around and landed in my lap. What I saw was three other people, like me barely touching a bouncing table. I had watched my teacher carry this little table into the room, no funky strings or anything. What I felt when first placing my hands upon the surface of the antique table was a vibration in the table top. Like electricity and I wondered if others felt it as well.

Well I was just a Little freaked out. Mental mediumship is far less "exciting" in some ways than the antics of physical mediumship. The logical mind was certainly on fire with trying to figure out what was occurring, how was I going to "debunk" this experience? All the while this thing is sitting in my lap. I am supposed to ask yes and no questions and find out if this is a guide or a family member. And because I don't know if my father or brother are alive I ask... the table swung back twice for a no each time. When asked it if was my grandmother well lets just say that table just sat in my lap. Apparently that is the signal for a yes answer and I found it interesting not only that there was indeed a vibration of deep and abiding love pouring through the table toward me like Reiki on some big supercharged steroids, but my mind instantly went blank.

This is the time to ask questions... DUH! So the experience went on. My body felt as though I was giving a huge Reiki treatment. I became hot like I do, almost to the sweating point when I am giving some pretty intense Reiki during a session. Time seemed to slow down, and to be honest I began to be caught up in the moment... you see all my caring about if it was true and if it was not true went out the window at the opportunity to believe just for one minute that indeed what I felt in the energy of love was coming from my grandmother and I was not going to allow dis-belief to ruin the possibility that it was true and the tears began to flow. Of course she was there to tell me to stop worrying about a job. OK fine... but it wasn't even the message that had come through the yes and no questions that mattered it was that incredible feeling of love.

You see I can understand how charlatans in this field can get inside people because people want so much to talk with their departed family members. I do indeed believe that people can be duped. And yet in the last 5 months I have discovered far more on point mediums than in my entire life and they are indeed good. The incredible thing is through my class I have learned about the early physical mediumship, such as the Fox sisters in Hydesville N.Y. that listened to rappings on the wall of the home they had moved into, and about 50 years later the story was proven to be convincingly true, yet they had been called and abused as charlatans for years.

After my turn was over I watched as the hearts of each person were opened as they were struck with pure and loving energy from the "spirit side of life". I can not deny that I watched my teachers hands for signs that she was pushing that table, and the interesting thing was how strong a couple of the spirits were. One woman's body shook with the force of the table landing in her lap. Tears flowed and hearts were opened. And true or false here I can honestly say... that I would rather believe that indeed in front of all of the people my grandmother did choose to use a table to remind me of the Reiki precept "just for today do not worry". I am uplifted and happy with that belief and honestly isn't that the purpose of belief?

People feel such grief at the passing of a loved one. To have an open door to undeniable communication either through a medium or through physical mediumship, like knocks on walls and table tipping; it gives the heart that can be open to the truth that our loved ones have not truly left us. It causes healing where only pain and suffering have endured for some. No matter what, being an aficionado of healing techniques, with years of healing service under my ample belt, healing happened last night. Undeniable heart healing. That is a gift. Our loved ones have only stepped out of the physical vehicle... they are still here loving and supporting us. That is the best gift ever!

I spent many years being terrified to try new things and let my spirit roam around this world finding it's joy. Try everything once is one of the best ideas I ever had... thank you for sharing this moment with me!

Namste'

Tara

Everyday Heros

2009-01-20T08:59:00.007-05:00

I have a friend that works 12 hour shifts. She is able to work from home near her family and loved ones. No commute, no co-workers, no packing of lunches or getting up before dawn to rush out the door. What a slice of heaven right? Ah no, she hates her job... reminds herself and family often of this fact. Yet her bills are paid and her family is fed and warm, the blessings truly abound. Sometimes it is so easy to miss what is right in front of us! Interesting isn't it?

I have a friend, she has been infected with HIV for over 20 years now. Her neuropathy is so terrible I am sure that if she can even feel her feet it is only because it feels like white hot pins are stabbing the feet and legs. She has been diagnosed with bilateral breast cancer for about 8 years now I believe, maybe more. Because of her disease process we can't even tell when something goes sky-woggled in her body, if the cause is really the cause. Recently she came out of a coma and is now on insulin injections 4 times daily. Do you know what my friends job is? Do you think she stays at home and bemoans her health status? She is an HIV educator, in fact she is summoned to congress when the Ryan White bill is under the microscope for funding purposes, and when congress calls you must go. She can be sick as a dog and pull herself up and do a keynote session for nurses and doctors right after being so sick none of us think she will stand up. That is her job... touching even one person is her passion... and over the years she has single-handedly saved hundreds if not thousands of people from despair. She is my hero! She might be your hero too... http://www.cathyrobinson.org/

I have a friend, her job is working in a specialties boutique for some women who's husbands were rich enough to give them a business. My friend is well trained in marketing and advertising, and yet she is selling high scale beads and purses to women who like to buy these novelties. Some people including her would think her situation is bad... but in these economic times she is grateful for the opportunity to work. Here is the kicker... my friend has a real job... one you might not know if you saw her on the street. It is taking care of her elderly mother. You see if my friend held a high paying position she would not have the time or the patience to deal with the dementia her mother is progressing through. She would not have the time to feed and dress her in the morning, to take her to church, to make sure her family is involved so that they have incredible memories while her mother is still lucid enough to recognize who everyone is, and even this is slowly drifting away. You see my friend doesn't understand the kind of gold her soul is being paid as it is forged on the kiln of life experience.

I have a friend who is a single mother of a troubled teen aged son. Everyday she gets up and goes to work in the health care field. Working to make a good life for herself and her son. Everyday she works to remain calm and balanced as her own soul is being forged on the kiln of the life experience of an out of control child. I think the hardest part of this entire experience is that often we look to the parent when the child is out of control. We forget each child just like each adult comes to the planet with their own individual plan to progress through. Yet she puts a mask on as she goes to work, calm, cool, and collected; while inside she feels as though she won't make it another second. This is a woman who has courage... to do the best she can each and everyday and to keep moving forward no matter what kind of curve balls her son throws her way... believe me there are a lot of curve balls here.

My point here is that often times we find ourselves in a position of wanting that very thing we do not have so that we can feel better. Not very often do we look at where we are and find acceptance and peace within it. These times in the world are testing and trying our resolve. The soul is being forged at a higher and higher heat for some. At a time when 11 million people have become jobless... hope is a commodity many people don't seem to have. Yet there is hope... in the blossom of a new flower, in the eyes of a new born, and mostly in the kindness that each of us have the opportunity to show and share with each other. The Reiki ideals give a recipe for those who wish to try it. For those willing to believe in themselves enough to know that things will indeed get better. They give us the opportunity to meditate on the words, to believe that worry and anger are not helpful, and to remind us that to be grateful is indeed the most positive thought practice in the law of attraction. They remind us of the unshakable golden rule of do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

Just for today do not worry

Just for today do not anger

Just for today do your work honestly

Just for today be thankful for your many blessings

Just for today be kind to every living thing

At this time in our world it is time to let the light of our true heart shine. To love those feeling the pain and despair, and to beam widely the unconditional love of the creator of our world toward those who can not find hope within their lives. Many people are spending a lot of time teaching and coaching about the law of attraction and sometimes this is so necessary and yet, when your belly is not fed and your kids are cold and you may not know if you have a place to live... kindness and love are the balms we need the most. I feel a calling from my own soul to be much more involved in healing on the global level and in doing so I must heal myself on that global level as well.

So I seek to be kinder than I have to be. To love more than necessary. To find patience when I have none at all. To share a meal or two with those less fortunate and to believe in myself so that I know how to believe in others as well. To remember that with Reiki I have a healing balm at my fingertips and that even though I understand suffering to be a perception there are still many that are living within that perception and they need our love and kindness. Change happens within us, and then our world changes the beat of it's drum to support our inner beauty. Let us embark on the deep inner healing, to find our blind spots and shine light upon them and forgive the unforgivable within us, so that we may lack judgement and find kindness for those in our world.

Namaste'

Wisdom of the aged....

2009-01-14T08:09:00.006-05:00

When I went to nursing school. I was required to train not only in a hospital, but also in a nursing home. The very first time I walked into that nursing home I passed out and I quit nursing school, one of the many times I told the teachers I would quit. They would call me that night and say... "I know it was hard, but you can do this; see you tomorrow." I would say "no you are wrong this time," but I would get myself up and my two small children and I would indeed see my teachers again that day.

The reason I had fainted that day was a paradigm shift of a major kind. It was the very first time that I had ever seen people lined up like cattle, you see they were lined up neatly along the walls waiting to be taken to their meals. And I was blown over by what that meant. That they had lived all their lives as independant free thinking people, and they were taken to breakfast at the time the facility chose, they were dressed by the taste of the care giver, and there was no loving family around, they didn't have a car or a home any longer, they had a 10x10 space to call their own, and even that was tramped through by the staff. Men who had worn suits all their lives, and women who had accessorized and been properly coiffed their entire lives were reduced to sweat pants, no make up, and no ties. I was shaken to say the least.

This morning this e-mail message ended up in my in box... it reminded me of that day 12 years ago when I fainted... and it reminded me of the heart of the Spirit, and that sometimes a nursing home is necessary for whatever reason for the elderly and the family. I worked in that field for most of my nursing career to make a difference in the lives of the residents, and yet so many of my residents made the REAL difference in my life. I hope your heart can take in the words and sentiment that is written below, because the wisdom of the ages is all around us everyday, in the eyes, words, and thoughts of those people that have been here longer than me or you. To find that out, just ask them; and if they are gracious enough to share it with you you will be amazed at the stories and the intelligence and the grace of the human spirit!

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.

His wife of 70 years recently passed away,making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.

As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.

'I love it,' he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.'

Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait.

''That doesn't have anything to do with it,' he replied...'

Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged ..it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it.

'It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life.

Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from it what you've put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories!

Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing.'

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.

2. Free your mind from worries.

3. Live simply

4. Give more.

5. Expect less.

Everyday Miracles

2009-01-12T08:50:00.005-05:00

It never ceases to amaze me how this moment slowly moves into the next moment and it becomes yes, this moment. If watching only this moment, sometimes after many moments, we recognize that a lifetime has emerged! Healing work is like this in a lot of ways for myself and my clients, and most likely for you as well.

I was working with a client this weekend and we realized that it has been a year since she started to see me... well almost a year. When she came to me she appeared a bit meek and extremely depressive. A hard outer exterior and devoid of much emotion... I believe that perhaps within her she felt only a modicum of hope as she made her appointment to see me. Sometimes our karmic lessons and our life contracts are large. It can seem as if the humanity and the compassion of God can not even touch us within the laws and lessons of life. For some of us that can be professional life, family life, and love relationships... whatever it is you know it when it hits you. This is the forging of the soul.

Every once in awhile I am gifted with the opportunity to watch a client do a 180 degree turn around. I love to work with the people that are fired up about making changes in their lives, and still willing to work within the fire of healing... when it is white hot, and hardest to remain in a state of courage and faith that this obstacle too shall pass. This woman is one of those people. Every one of us has an incredible light that we were meant to shine upon this planet. Some of us in big ways and some of us in smaller ways and yet each fire has the same weight.

What a pleasure it is to watch her recognize challenges and look at them deeply... releasing the fear about her emotions and the self judgement that she has a challenge that exists at all, means far less than the freedom that comes from doing such profound work. Once we realized how many moons it had been that we had been working together there was a special moment filled with AWE... with the silence of all that is, as we remembered her state of being at the moment of her first appointment. A miracle had been born within the moment drifting into the next moment... an entire year of healing had emerged. A history of old coats and hats, thoughts and beliefs that have been thrown out for a newer style, a healthier style.

As she left from this appointment with a greater sense of her accomplishments of the past year and her thoughts dwelling upon her healing goals for the new year to come, I told her how truly proud I am of her. For having the courage to face the monsters in her closets... and the monsters in her life. She said something that struck me then, "It couldn't have happened without you." She thanked me then and even though I understand that I am the face that the universe chose for the job that I do, it is her desire to return to balance and the light that caused her healing. It is her soul and the blessings of the universe that created such incredible healing. I am truly the gifted one to be in a position not only to witness the incredible healing but to learn and grow from it myself. I am filled with a sense of grace as I write this morning... because God has placed me within a profession in which miracles happen... each and everyday and I am allowed and honored to share in them as the children of the universe remember their own light and begin to shine it outwardly to uplift all of creation!

Namaste'

Once upon a time I was a know it all!

2009-01-07T09:47:00.008-05:00

As I was sitting here getting the dregs out of my valor bottle this morning... I started to remember the first time I was introduced to essential oils. I thought they were snake oil, after all if it did not come out of a pill bottle what good was it anyway? At the time I had injured my back working as a nurse, it was 1998 or so, which meant I had been a nurse for only 2 years before my career might be over. I was taking vicodin for the pain and flexaril to relax the muscles. All that really happened was I slept a lot, but the pain didn't dissipate. At one point I had the violent side effect of attacking my partner at the time, vicodin for some people can bring out anger and rage tendencies. Sadly I was one of those people, luckily no one got hurt!

Pt was not helping, the meds were not helping, and sleeping just had me sleeping through my life and my young children's lives as well. I was miserable and the ice massage from that PT lady was driving me up a wall to boot. I was involved with a spiritual organization at the time and they swore by their essential oils. I scoffed, laughed, and made cracks about the way they smelled and the snake oil they were peddling to unsuspecting humans. (as if I knew a thing or two!) After all if it was not in a pill bottle it didn't work. If that stuff worked the medical community would embrace it and go with it, but alas the medical community in a large part denies the effectiveness of therapeutic grade essential oils and their efficacy for healing. And so I suffered... not too silently I might add!

I have to add here that at the time my mother had become a massage therapist a few years before this, and I had only had one or two treatments from her and they left me feeling broken and beaten the next day so I swore off all of that silly stuff! What I didn't understand is that the stress of being a single mom and going to nursing school had taken it's toll on me and my body... well that and the alcohol problem I had at the time. So during the massage the toxins moved into the blood stream and boy was I feeling them.... but I was too smart for that... massage was EVIL! I was certain.

So I was seriously in pain and didn't know how I would go back to work. One of my snake oily friends asked if she could put some oils on my back. "Sure," I said, "as long as you don't try any of that evil massage on me I already hurt enough." At this point my allopathic way of treating myself had gotten me no where. So I laid there and she dripped an oil on my back from above me. She didn't touch me she just let the oil sit there and some weird things started to happen. My vertebrae actually snapped back into place. Not just one but four different snaps crackles and pops I heard and I didn't even move. And even weider was that the pain decreased... no one had even touched me. That one oil she used that day was Valor, I placed my oil order immediately because the relief I had was so incredible that I had to find out more, plus who wants to have that much pain daily?

Since then I have used my oils for everything from strep throat to uplifting depression. What a cool memory to have on an over cast day while I attempt to get each and every tiny molecule of oil out of this bottle... lesson learned today... DON'T EVER LET MYSELF RUN OUT OF VALOR!

How to find some valor? Just click here

Reiki, Anointing, Special!

2009-01-05T09:00:00.007-05:00

Isn't she pretty???

Starting off this Monday morning with the kids back in school! That can put a zing into any one's day... well at least mine! Sometimes their thoughts crowd my mind so much I can't tell if a thought is mine or theirs. So I celebrate vacation while they are home for the fun, and I celebrate when they return to school for the quiet! Ahhhhh the blessed quiet. I wanted to share this dainty orchid picture with you, well because yellow is my favorite color... I just love the high and happy vibration of a bright and clear yellow! And this was her first time blooming for me... what a wonderful thing!

Speaking of vibrations.... what we learned from the last blog entry is that healing in a large part happens through the harmonic frequencies in and around our body. The hormonal communication with our very DNA through the lingands. We also learned that sometimes when the physical body has broken down through stress, emotions, poor diet, etc that we must supply it with physical supplementation and high vibration foods as well as energy medicine and techniques that help balance the system as a whole. It can certainly make lasting and permanent healing move a long at a quick pace when we apply our logic to all systems and "energy bodies" of the human organism.

With that in mind... moving right along to the conscious process of applying healing to the physical body ourselves.

Websters dictionary defines anoint as:

1 to smear or rub with oil or an oily substance

2 a to apply oil to as a sacred rite especially for consecration b. b to choose by or as if by divine election also to designate as if by a ritual anointment

About 5-6 years after I became involved in the essential oils company that I love so much I decided to go out and buy up oils from other companies. I wanted to see if what I was using was really the highest and best for myself and my family. At one point I became fascinated with the essential oils of scripture and I even went looking in the Christian book stores in the area searching for the holy oils for anointing. What I found is that most oils were inferior. How do I know they were inferior? The scent mostly. You can tell alot from a therapeutic grade essential oil. I can take a huge deep whiff of a therapeutic grade oil and it moves over the olfactory system easily picking out all the different parts that make up the oil, just like fine wine. In many of the oils when I tried this I came out choking and sputtering with terrible headaches that sometimes lasted for 2-3 days. Needless to say I wasn't impressed, but I did keep the other oils around so that I could show people the differences.

The bookstore oils for anointing the body were a sore disappointment for me because they didn't even smell like the pure frankincense and sandalwood that I had come to love so deeply. Now that doesn't mean that those oils don't work for what they were created for. However some oils are perfume grade oil. Perfume grade oils have been altered by taking out certain components of the whole oil because they are looking for an "across the board" scent. In fact the perfume companies in Europe are responsible for much of the research done on essential oils... their research is done on components of oils but not very often has it been done on the whole complete unadulterated oil that our creator made for us. Again I digress.... Therefore a perfume grade oil most likely won't hold the important components for healing like therapeutic grade oil will.

Now for healing... as far as I am concerned I anoint myself with Reiki, Qi Gong, Essential Oils, Songs, Music... for me everything is an anointing right down to positive thoughts, prayer, and meditation. The one thing that many healers are aware of is that "tuning in" to the highest vibration of energy is a must, and has been taught to me in every method that I have trained in. Therapeutic Grade essential oils have different vibrations. Some higher than others, and they also have the incredible quality of being able to be "charged" with higher frequency thoughts and vibrations. Think about that for a second. A substance that is already tuned into our highest and best good, can be uplifted to an even higher vibratory frequency through prayer and love, and then be applied to a human body. A substance that is already programed to sing it's goodness into the cells and cause physical healing, can be affected positively by Reiki, charged with positivity... no wonder the Bible is so chock full of essential oil quotes and uses. They knew the power of "to smear!!"

To smear or not to smear... that is the question..... TO SMEAR ... yup that is the answer. EVERY SINGLE DAY!

If you want to take a look at some therapeutic grade oils please click here.

I hope you found this interesting!

Even Thoughts are Energy...

2009-01-03T19:17:00.008-05:00

Even thoughts and feelings are an expression of energy. Isn't that wild? Before, many people thought that a thought or a word was just an expression of self. Many people never understood that there is a vibrational frequency of each expression that can be measured not only with scientific equipment today, but with the more highly sensitized HEF (human energy field). Ever just know someone was feeling down or entered a room in which an argument just happened and felt it, but there was no evidence of the event occurring? That is the incredibly sensitized HEF!

In our physical bodies all communication is electrical and energy fed in nature. Cellular communication, which is important in healing as we often talk about cellular memory; is handled through the nervous system and the endocrine system of our body. The nervous system sends out signals to the body that carry simple information. The endocrine system uses a compound called a ligand that is responsible for communication between cells.

Each cell has a receptor site. (Candace Pert is the specialist that has discovered receptor sites) The receptor site is the sentinel for the cell, the gate keeper so to speak. The receptor site says what gets in and what gets out of a cell. Ligands and receptor sites don't seem to work by mechanics alone, it is more of a process of communication through forms of energy like vibrations, magnetism, light and even sound... here is the fun part! If a ligand doesn't sing the right song to the receptor site of a cell, the door will not open. This is great! Our body is so particular, it is programmed to only allow the best and highest good and always seeks balance or homeostasis.

Now if the body has begun to break down due to stress, fatigue, poor diet, etc... sometimes the receptor sites of cells get clogged... like having a foggy brain. So with energy medicine we are working with the energetics around and inside of the body. When we give Reiki the relief comes because at the cellular level there is a beautiful sound being heard by the receptor sites that allows our body to function more optimally. Our very cells recognize the special song of our creator! How incredible is that??

Now here is a hint for anyone that lives or works with a person or group of people that have the "blues". When the thought patterns repeat no matter what they do and the down in the dumps feeling is so profound they can not seem to shake it, that is simply painful and we want to help. Energy medicine obviously sings a beautiful song to assist us with balancing our bodies in very incredible ways, and sometimes we must do more to support the healing process. In our world, if we have allowed the body to break down then we must at times supply it with supplements, high quality foods and the like to rebuild the body on a very physical level. Here is the hint: Therapeutic Grade Essential Oil molecules act like a ligand in the human body (and with horses and dogs.) A ligand's responsibility is to carry information to the cells and communicate with our very DNA!

I have a teen that went through a very difficult 5 year period. They attempted to diagnose her with bi polar disorder and border line personality disorder among other things. I have an older teen that can succumb to fits of melancholy the likes of which could depress a saint sometimes. Ahhhh but I digress.... Aromatherapy has had alot of popularity in the past few years. Want to know why? Because when applied appropriately it really works! The scent of the proper essential oil can begin to change brain chemistry and a person only needs to smell it for it to begin to work. Application of Reiki has assisted a great deal in my sanity... oh I mean the sanity of my children ;0), however nothing and I mean this, NOTHING can help them turn around the attitudes and the melancholy like the scent of a pure grade essential oil. Here is how...

Diffusing oils in your home or work place automatically causes a chemical reaction within the body to lighten the mind and mood of everyone in the area. The tiny light weight molecules of the oil drift through the air and are given immediate access to the blood and brain causing physical changes to the body and uplifting the vibratory frequency of the entire human organism. You help someone just by scent, you don't even have to explain what your are doing or why, in fact if you are working with teens you might not want to tell them you are doing it for them, and just notice the changes in focus and mood. The truth is it happens whether they know about it or not, they may not understand why they feel better or more calm, but it goes a long, long way in supporting your loved ones with making physical chemical changes to help uplift their experience. Even wearing oils on yourself when around a "bluesy" kind of person can uplift them through the scent. Even better when you apply Reiki to the oils before anointing or diffusing into the air. (more on this in the next blog entry)

Voila... party in a bottle... well at least calm in a bottle.

Directors note: never heat or burn and essential oil, the heating process alters the chemical composition of the oil and the therapeutic effects might be lacking for you...

Hope you found this informational and even exciting. I just love the way the human body works when energy medicine and healing modalities are applied!

Namaste'

Everything is Energy!

2009-01-02T08:15:00.000-05:00

Reiki is a system that was brought to light in the modern times by Mikao Usui, for many believe it has existed far into antiquity through the Indian vedas. In this day and age it is also considered energy medicine or energy healing. The fact that the global consciousness to a large part has begun to work with manifestation and the law of attraction, is definitely a recognition that healing will also follow along the lines of consciousness and or unconsciousness. It also illustrates that recognizing the "energetic nature" of our universe on a conscious level may open a person up to the understanding that they themselves are energy and perhaps energetic healing would assist them in their life.

Reiki is "energy", everything is energy! We are made of atoms... the energy that one atom harnesses when split is a nuclear bomb. All form and dimensions and energy is vibrating at specific rates. Some Rates are seen and some rates are unseen, but the natural laws are in place within the divine matrix of all of creation. This being said we are creators within the divine matrix of the Creator with free will and unconscious creation as well. Fun stuff!

So as a healing facilitator I believe, as many others believe that our vibrations can indeed be altered according to thought and deed, as well as intention. I also believe that the unconscious plays a great part in the manifestations of our own personal universe. WE are like radio towers tuned into specific frequencies of life. Depending on our life experiences and our knowledge we find ourselves tuned into certain levels of experience and energy. When a person would like to uplift their vibration they are often led to meditation, spending time in nature, and breathing techniques. In fact some are told just think positively.

Has anyone ever told you to just think positively when your bank account has been over drawn, you forgot to pay a bill, or the dogs vet bill is more than you have? Or how about when your relationship is breaking up, or when your lovely child has made a decision that affects the entire family without your knowledge? The words to just think positively can really fall flat in the face of the emotions that will emerge during these types of challenges. And what if these types of challenges have been your entire life experiences with only a few peaks and tons of valleys? How easy or natural will "thinking positively" come to you?

If it is true that what we resist persists, then many of us are in need of some serious acceptance in our lives, but how? Working with clients that are in this state of affairs causes one to consider some type of medium to help them feel just a little better. Not eating the whole meal of bliss to start off with, perhaps just a bite of the appetizer, because to be honest the whole meal is just too far a jump for some people. For the past 12 years I have used therapeutic grade essential oils successfully with my family, friends, and then with my clients. Here is the magic... they do not have to do anything. Many times people who are living in these types of challenging circumstances are simply worn out.

A drop on your hands rubbed together and inhaled takes 30 seconds, yet the effect is immediate when using oils that are meant to uplift mood, focus the mind, or relax the body. Transdermally the oil has already begun to flow through the circulatory system and create changes in the hormonal systems, aroma-therapeutically when inhaled it is taken directly into the limbic region of the brain and will release feel good hormones according to the memories of the pleasant scent. There is not too much alteration in the paradigm of healing here. Just the introduction of a nice citrus component or perhaps lavender. These are scents that are familiar to everyone and often times hold good memories for the client. The science behind this is indeed incredible!

Essential oils are the life blood of a plant. They carry out the necessary and vital functions of the plant. They move through the cell walls of plant membranes feeding the plant tissues and carrying the waste out. The molecule of an essential oil is very small in comparison to the molecule of a fatty oil (such as olive). The chemical chains of fatty oils are long when most essential oil chemical chains are ring like in structure and very compact. Why is this important? Because essential oils are already engineered to nourish and cleanse cells and tissues. Their molecules are so tiny that they move easily through the skin into the blood stream, made available to every vital system. A fatty oil stays on top of the skin and takes a much longer time to "soak" in. Therefore the client is supported from within, and through the support from the natural changes within the body it can enable them to feel just a little bit better, and that my friends is truly the beginning of a healing moment! When a person can begin to feel just a little better, they relax and make way for more incredible changes to happen.

The great thing is that this really works. We want to feel better, and if that can happen through simply smelling a natural substance that makes you feel good, well that is quite a user friendly version of healing that can be expanded in the future. And some of the people you will come into contact with will turn you off if you start talking about a process that makes them have to remember things that are alien to them or plan time out of their day for self care.

I am going to enjoy extolling the virtues of some of my favorite things! If you would like more information on therapeutic grade essential oils please click here.

Namaste'

2008-12-31T09:54:00.000-05:00

The morning I took this picture I was in need of inspiration. I found it in the breeze, watching the cattle, the way the dew speckled the grass on the ground... I have been enthralled with photographs of spider webs decorated with the morning dew. After walking and breathing for a bit, I sat down to journal some very important things about my coming new year and the me I have decided to be. I practiced Qi Gong for the first time in months, and emotion bubbled up from the depths of my soul... once again I had become enmeshed in the wants and desires of others over my own. Once again making excuses why the needs and wants of my family seemed to over shadow the pure heart that beats to be a light bearer of this world.

I gave myself permission then to journal the bad... and then uplift it to the true lessons... to search within the words and feelings to find only the truth and the places where I had been blocking my own light or goodness. We all find ourselves in that space, when we realize that we have not been practicing self care to the degree or level we could be. It was not until I gave a voice to the deep pain and frustration that I had not been willing to notice, that the light flooded through my hand into the pages of my journal to uplift the experience.

It takes a great deal of courage to live by the phrase that "everything happens for a reason," we must be willing then to accept all experiences as necessary and imbued with some light, some degree of educated grace. Because if we do indeed live by this thought, we must give credence to each experience and do the work to find the light in it. We must also then understand that sometimes no matter what we "think" is our path, that the Creator Source will assist us, through the light of our souls and the souls around us to validate and illuminate our true blind spots; not just the ones that we think we would like to handle. In this, compassion for the self and our blind spots is imperative.

The law of attraction states that what we focus on expands, yet at time the experience does not seem to mirror the thoughts or desires we have thought that we had. Sometimes we will need to do some spring cleaning of the blind spots so that all the good we desire can have "space" to exist within our lives. This is where I am now. Clearing out the blind spots and resisting the urge to cover them back over or act as if they are not real for me. And this is a great place to be, because it underlines and reiterates every lesson I learn and teach and share. It underlines and punctuates with an exclamation point how powerful Reiki is... how necessary personal work, journaling, hypnosis, regression, and energy work are for the freedom of the soul.

When I came home that day, and loaded the photos into my computer I noticed out of the corner of my eye that this photo held special significance to me. You see that for me is an angel within the web. It is, for me, a reminder that grace surrounds us all... even when we forget to feel it.

Blessings to you and your incredible New Year!

In The Silence

2008-12-26T19:46:00.000-05:00

I realized that I needed time away today... the day after Christmas. Time away from words, and electromagnetic frequencies, people and walls... I needed time to listen to my Spirit. It was a perfect morning, if you can imagine, a beautiful deep blue morning sky with the sun shining gently down upon the dew covered earth, in Florida we have these morning gifts at this time of the year. I walked with my camera and began to notice the spider webs of all sizes and shapes with the dew glistening like diamonds, as if they were suspended in mid air by some incredible force... effortless. Painted into the world just for me to see. This picture is beautiful to me. It is a web that is not so perfect, not so equal or even... it is web that illustrates life in it's entirety. At one time this web was whole just as we all were when we were born... throughout our lives sometimes the web gets broken, yet the light at the center of it still exists and glows within the fabric of our own soul's creation. A gem creating the beauty that is our individuality... glistening through the dark nights of the soul and the glorious days of our Spirits.

Sometimes experiencing silence is the only way to hear our Spirits. Getting lost underneath responsibilities, wants and needs and desires of the important and not so important people in our lives, can drive us to distraction and to a disconnect with the one thing that keeps us sane and balanced. The soul desires connection at deeper and deeper levels these days, as our everyday existence is carved and molded by the hands of our creator and the tools of our soul. Each lesson and experience shining within the web of our lives just as the dew drops glisten in the morning sun... sharing the light with all who care to look. One day this web will flow away in the wind, never to be seen again... but for now it shines, and hangs on, and exists to the fullness of it's potential.

This morning I walked within the light of my creator, within the world that I share with each and every creation, each and every thought, love, and Spirit. My Qi Gong practice connected me with that web of life that we all share, it brought me gratitude through the energy and the graceful motions of my body. This morning I breathed and existed not in the place within my own mind, but within the one-ness of THE mind. My Spirit whispered intimate details of life and love and connection as I allowed the outer world to fall away. This is the Way of Reiki to me. Where no word or phrase can begin to describe the intimacy of the energy as it moves between myself and my world. From the wet dew upon my feet to the sun kissed moments that I sat drinking the warmth of the morning sun on my back. Everything exists to bring us even closer to the center of that web, to the light that dwells within all of us. If we only allow ourselves to drink in the exquisite silence.

May you be blessed and feel the complete love of our Creator...

Majesty

2008-12-24T14:01:00.000-05:00

For the past two months this beauty has called me from my twilight dreams into the conscious world... calling to me from outside my window. I find her breath taking. I was finally able to get close enough to take a few photos of her, this is the most majestic by far.

It makes sense indeed as I am making my intentions known to the universe for the up-coming year that the harbinger would be a hawk with the medicine message of "You are only as powerful as your capacity to perceive, receive, and use your abilities."

This is the time of the year to be certain to take care of ourselves. Many healers are so much into the giving we forget to balance our outgoing energy with our incoming energy. Now more than ever as people all over are making plans for their New Year, there is an incredible amount of energy pointed toward new beginnings. When we create our own New Year intentions while riding this incredible wave of pure energy we tap into the goodness in each person and the innocence of hope. The purity of possibilities.

As we plan for the New Year and make the intentions for our goals, desires, and the humanity we desire to support; the heavens will open up to receive those bright and glittering sparks of our soul wishes and begin to rearrange itself for the highest and best good for all. And as the hawk for-tells, we must be ready, clear, and healthy so that what we intend comes from a source of authentic power from within our hearts.

The hawk also speaks of surveying our lives. Taking stock and viewing things globally so that we can be completely centered in the decisions we make. For me this is an incredible hint from the universe... not only am I being reminded that my inner strength and clarity is most important, but I am being reminded to be studious in locating the energy drains in my life and to deal with them accordingly, as I look into my future and create the me I want to be.

May your New Year be as Blessed as you are loved!

A New Day!

2008-12-16T12:08:00.000-05:00

After walking away from my nursing career for the most part, about 5 years ago I really never wanted to return. I had been blessed enough to have opened my own massage and healing business, and was able to make my own hours and days of work while handling my daughters special needs at the time.

Now I find myself in the position that many people have had to endure. The business office had to be closed due to economical reasons, and I find myself once again in the market for a job. This morning I had a job interview at a local home health agency. From the moment I walked into this place I was made to feel welcome and that has not been my experience here in Florida. This is a faith based organization that certainly brings their beliefs into the work place to support their staff and clients. It was AMAZING!

Even though I practice a somewhat different perspective on religion and belief systems I found myself excited at the prospect of once again working with a team of people for the greater good. I find myself extremely homesick for a team of faith based people taking responsibility for themselves and their world in a calm, polite, and caring manner... what a breath of fresh air! Even a fresher breath as I had been loathing in some ways returning to the nursing industry after enjoying so many years working as a healer.

I remember years ago when I studied with a Guru in Ashland not understanding why some of the residents of the ashram were told that they must move back "into the world" finding jobs and new homes away from the life they had come to love so much. I now recognize the wisdom in that teaching. Sometimes we get very comfortable in a place and we forget, or at least we become desensitized to the "real" world and in that desensitization, as a healer, we can forget how intense the process of paradigm shifting can be for people who only live within the constraints of the "real world" rules and limitations.

Making the choice to close my business office was in some ways one of the hardest things I ever had to do after all it was a creation of myself... 5 years of work and learning and hope... and yet it was also a relief in some ways. A relief to let go of something that just was not meeting the mark. I had to remind myself that sometimes we must stumble and dig around in the dirt a few times before we can find our way back on our feet. I was clear that closing the business was a good business decision and I resisted the small tiny voices saying that I had in some way failed my community or myself.

What happened instead for me has been a glorious unfolding of incredible wisdom for as much as I worked to be there for my clients there were places in my own life that were not being tended. I have been given the gift of tending to myself and re-arranging my priorities. I have been given the gift of re-membering where most of my clients come from, and now I have the gift of being of service in a different way to the planet in the nursing industry. Today at least I am certainly thankful for my many blessings and for the hypnosis client I got a call from on my way out of that job interview... I haven't received a call in weeks. Sometimes we just have to move energy somewhere, anywhere; for energy to move everywhere within our own existence.

Today is full of beautiful reminders of the grace of life! Now it is time to do my Intro to Spiritualism class...

Namaste'