Let's Chat... to Reiki or not to Reiki???

 So Let's chat.

Did you know I once had a student for Reiki that

was not going to take the class

that her heart yearned for because her

employer didn't believe in it?

 I also have had multiple students bow out of classes

due to lack of partner and family 

belief and participation.

I have even had students that left their partner for

being closed minded about Reiki once a class was taken.

 Take a look at these photos.

That's my fiance!!

This was a moment that made me love her oodles,

do you want to know why?

She was doing her own brand of Qi Gong.

Not because she is trained, not because she is interested in it

(although she may be)

but because she has a pretty awesome sense of humor.

You see I don't require my partner to believe in

the things that I believe in.

My practice, belief, or dedication to anything is my business

it's not hers.

Love is patient and love is kind.

Love does not give ultimatums and fight over space.

Love is simply love,

IF 

you find yourself requiring your partner to like what you like, 

to do things your way,

to understand what you find important,

to think like you,

to act like you,

oooooops you need to clone yourself.

Who wants to be with someone that has all the same interests?

Who wants to be with a robot?

Who wants to live that kind of boring,

hum drum,

dull existence?

 If Reiki gets it up for you, take the class.

If your partner forbids it... darlings that isn't about Reiki that is about your

relationship.

If your partner does not understand what Reiki is,

why you are so into it,

or why on Earth you would waste your time...

smile sweetly and say gosh I just love it when you support my interests.

And at some point simply ask them if they would like to know more.

Sometimes people poke fun at things they do not

understand and are too embarrassed to ask about.

 Sadly some people still believe that asking questions means the same thing as being

dumb or stupid.  People do have Egos, good, bad, or indifferent

you will most likely meet the ego in the people that you feel

judge you.

You can take the bait and let your baggage talk to their baggage or

you can take the higher road and support yourself

by only talking to people that support your decisions in the beginning.

Remember you didn't choose your partner through the eyes of Reiki 

if you had, they would be with you on the Reiki train.

Requiring your partner to get on a new train that 

you want to ride is not only selfish,

it is pretty single-minded. It's like your partner signing you up to jump out of an 

airplane because they think it would be fun.

NOT!!!

 Sit down and feel this out folks.

would you want your partner to sign you up for 

boot camp fitness just because they think it is good for you?

AND

That they require you to go on the days of the weeks and times of the day

they deem appropriate?

Just imagine the things your partner may be thinking about your sudden interest in

something that doesn't seem to even be real or have any importance.

Just imagine what it would be like for a very grounded and scientifically minded individual to 

watch their lover holding their hands quietly over

someones body... possibly with their eyes closed.

It might be laughable! 

Heck I might even laugh at that.

 The next time that you get the bright idea to 

"do" Reiki in your home

or on your spouse to change the energy...

be aware they probably feel like everything is just fine.

They probably feel they are happy the way they are.

No one likes forced change.

AND 

My dears if you are focussing on your Partner because you think Reiki will

change your relationship...

OH YEAH Reiki will change your relationship;

you may encounter more distance, grumbling, and flat out disgust

about the things you are doing, the things you are

thinking about your partner and the space you share,

that creates war not peace.

You can not force Reiki or any belief on anyone for their own good or not!

Reiki is not the set for the boxing ring where you go to face off against your partner.

It's not about fight,

control,

blame,

or rigidity.

If your partner does not want to participate so what,

not everyone likes yard work, knitting, running, swimming,

dogs, cats, birds, or snakes.  

Not everyone cares about

becoming more healthy, thinking differently, or healing the world.

Seriously folks, thank goodness for that!

I can be good at what I do.

I'm a great Reiki facilitator for those that think it is important.

I am a pretty dang good cook and I am awesome at 

running a house hold, getting people fed, and teaching boundaries.

I'm great at loving people, decent at writing.

I have a great time teaching and doing Reiki.

I love learning and am passionate about my spirituality.

I adore my partner and doing things she likes gives me a great deal of happiness.

I also happen to be decent at reading energy, helping people find patterns that make them unhappy and unhealthy, and sometimes I can talk to the dead.

Does that mean my partner gets it?

Does it mean she is on board?

Does it mean we hold freaky deaky seances nightly?

No you guys, it doesn't.

We do laundry and housework, we watch movies and make dinner,

we clean, we walk dogs, we love eachother.

We even don't always understand eachother. 

Reality is that is about as normal as it gets and she knows if she

ever wants to really know about anything I do she can ask.

And if not that is ok too.

Give yourselves and your relationships a break.

Go ahead and love Reiki if you want to and let your family and partner love what they love.

Choose freedom and love every time!

Lola

It's taken me far too long to finally sit down and try to figure out how to write this.

 

 

I recently went to West Virginia to help take care of my

partner's grandmother who was 96, almost 97 years young!

 

 

 

None of us expected things to happen the way they did.

 

She declined rapidly and my partner and her family

lost a really sharp minded, stunning woman.

I was lucky enough to witness the

incredible love and connection of this

stupendously large family.

 

 

Lola was the youngest of 15 children 16 if you count a twin that passed at birth.

I was privileged to hear Lola look at an old photo and tell us

the history of each sibling.  I got to feel for the

first time in my life what it must be to have family roots.

The land we were on was tilled by the blood, sweat, and tears of the Christopher family.

Truly their heritage laid in the very soil I walked on.

I didn't have that kind of family history so it was pretty

incredible to hear the stories and be shown the places where the family

had worked, lived, and loved.

 

 

 

My partners aunt and her husband just lived down the road to give Lola

the opportunity to have assistance but to retain her

independence.  I realized as we shared her home in those last days how

important her independence was to her and how very much

her family loved her to try and keep that option

open to her.

 

 

By the end of this visit that was filled with the deep sadness of losing

their loved one there was also a rekindling of the fire of family in the hearts

and minds of those Lola was connected to and served in her life.

She loved animals and there were reminders of that everywhere I turned.

It's no wonder that my partner has the huge heart that she does,

her Grandmother meant everything to her.  I got pretty

good at being able to pick out Lola's siblings from old photos of family

reunions and remembering who was married to whom.

 

 

 

I did what I could to help the family out,

it's not always easy to know what to do in a situation like that.

What I do know is that the lessons

in love, patience, and connection I learned while

I was there may be some of the most important lessons I have

ever been so honored to learn.

Her funeral was held in a church that her own mother made sure

was built, and to Lola's credit the gentleman

conducting the service never had dry eyes.  I find myself wishing I had

a little more time with Lola to hear about the history of her family

and to see life through her eyes.

 

 

 

My love for the elders of our world started with my own grandmother

and it continued when I became a nurse.  I have literally spent

hundreds of hours listening to late night stories, having cookie

tea parties, and shed tears with the elders of the communities

I have lived in as I worked in elder care for 10 years.  I have watched at their

lives have been turned upside down by disease and lack of money, I have watched as they have

been sequestered to 12x10 foot spaces and made to share a room

with a complete stranger.

I have watched as their choices have dwindled in

front of their eyes, to the point that they may not even be allowed

to choose their own clothing or take their time with their own

care because staff is rushed to meet quotas.

I have watched as once powerful people have been shrunken down to what

other people choose for them.

I can't tell you how relieved I am that this was not Lola's experience,

nor was it my grandmothers. Hospice made sure of that.

This is the reason I have decided to go back to school and

further my nursing education.

I want to work on hospice cases and be certain people always retain their dignity and choices.

I will be forever grateful to my partner for trusting me enough to allow me to care for her loved one, and forever grateful that Lola reminded me where the heart of my career

lies.



I love the quote that says

"Live like someone left the gate open!"

I've had some interesting inquiries regarding how to use Reiki in personal relationships recently.

The thing I find the most interesting is that my answer doesn't 

immediately come from the Reiki precepts or the symbols, or even specific Reiki training.

My answer comes from the golden rule

My answer comes from years of personal work

My answer comes from forgiveness

My answer comes from understanding that behaviors good and not so good come from

previous personal experiences, 

we can not honestly know what has shaped people,

what they have been through, nor can we always expect them to understand

that they are being unkind; 

because...

the people we share our lives with are doing the best they can just like we are,

and if someone holds an attitude that says other people are not doing the best they can...

well; I challenge

those people to stop worrying about the actions of others and get real about

your own shortcomings, 

we all have them.

Using Reiki to assist personal relationship healing is a fabulous way

to help create harmony, peace, and increase loving partnerships.

Reiki can not be measured or quantified or defined, 

therefore its workings are limitless and boundless.

 

 

And I can not say enough about doing your own WORK!

Freedom comes not from stepping on people or needing to puff up our egos to feel

good about ourselves.   

Real freedom comes from looking

at all the ways that the EGO attempts to take front stage in relationships,

and understanding

that EGO causes the insanity that demands attention and having everything our own way.

 

 

We can't change anyone else...

Reiki is not the magic pill that we use on our family, friends, or partner to "fix"

them or us.  Reiki is a tool that helps us to find

balance within the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of ourselves.

What a gift!

If you have come to me asking how to stop griping at your loved ones, 

judging people, how to feel worthy of love,

how to not be in repeated relationships that belittle you...

YES!

Reiki can help you 

 

 

 

AND

 

 

 

there is not an easy pill or prescription or one time fix to these issues.

 

 

 

It takes discipline and daily attention to watch what it is in you that invites some

of these behaviors.  It takes always looking at ourselves first and then taking ACTION

to make changes and forgive all the reasons we act in ways we aren't

proud of.

And loving others means we don't arbitrarily assume they are terrible people

because they are exhibiting bad behavior.  We take a moment out of the emotional

junk long enough to remember we love this person, then we apply LOGIC

to the situation.

That doesn't mean lie down and take it, but it does mean

diffusing emotion, doing our work regarding how we feel about the issue, and then deciding

if it really is about the other person or not.

Projection is a huge weapon that can inflict unresolvable wounds.

My loves,

do your daily Reiki precepts,

be aware of your own thoughts and energy,

be responsible for your words and deeds,

understand words and attitudes do wound others,

find a balance between personal work and personal play,

be sure that if you are going to deal with an issue that it is truly worth it,

use your symbols,

especially your distance symbol

to work on memories and thoughts that cause you pain and stress;

and remember if your own mind is out of control with repeating thoughts, worry, repetative stress

that isn't your child's, lover's, friend's, or family's fault,

it is your own, because you are not doing what it takes to calm those

thoughts and behaviors; 

so don't take it out on other people and if you do slip up and wound someone

be very generous with apologies and

even more generous with getting your own stuff together.

There is no free ride in 

living a conscious, loving, incredible life.

If you want to 

"Live like someone left the gate open"

Get real, stop the behaviors, make ammends,

get to work on your personal stuff,

and ALWAYS choose love my dears,

ALWAYS 

choose love!