I am learning

I am learning.

Isn't that a precious gift? 

Learning never ceases and no matter where you find yourself there are many lessons, many opportunities.

As I take a breath here I find myself glad to be where I am now, the past 6 years have been 

rather difficult.

I am learning.

At the surface of the lessons I have picked up the last few years I have learned that

I certainly can live through a loved ones suicide attempts.

I have learned that no matter what a parent wishes for a child...

ultimately their life is theirs and that is exactly how things 

were made to happen.

I can function even with severe physical pain.

That even in the most heinous of circumstances, forgiveness gives life

and healing to families that many people never thought

could happen.

Yes I am learning.

I have also learned that Reiki Masters have their own issues!

Who knew?

I have discovered that one of my blind spots was my own health.

I was operating upon the false assumption that a daily Reiki practice would and SHOULD

fix any ill.

I falsely held the belief that if I do enough good then I wont ever suffer and I won't ever get sick, and my life will somehow be magically easy.

Guess what I learned!

I learned that even a Reiki Master can be diagnosed with fibromyalgia, tachycardia, anemia, and have a diabetes scare.

Yup.

It does indeed happen.

In my fervent and passionate need to save the universe, run a business, make ends meet, heal my child,  get my kids graduated from highschool, be a mom,

be a kind and loving partner, hold a space of safety and grace for my clients and students,

 work a 40 hour work week, be a positive mentor,

live my talk....

I somehow left me out of the equation

even though I believed I was fully 100%

in said equation...

Well I have never been a math wiz!

I learned about pain

I learned about limitation of body and mind

I learned about loss of partners

I learned about checking out of life and using medications

I learned about the victim archetype

I learned about focus

I learned about allowing love into my heart

I learned about finding the light within people that forget their own light, and to feel okay even when they seem to prefer not to feel or see or experience their own light

I learned to seek my own light

I learned that EGO can be as positive a healing force as it can be destructive.

I learned that a diagnosis is not who I am,

 

And I learned that no matter how many times I seem to be knocked to the ground

I still have faith and trust in God, Spirit, and the quiet and passionate good of the 

Universe.

I have learned a great deal these past few years and that the wisdom of the Universe is indeed

guiding my life whether my definition of success happens or not.

I have also learned from the wisdom that is embedded

deep in the cells of my being.

For a moment,

I simply forgot, 

you know...

I forgot that 

my good is at my own fingertips

I forgot that 

my hands heal others

and in that truth

my own hands

are indeed 

a

source of relief and a haven of peace

for me!

I forgot that I 

am a healer of me

I forgot that I am a source of

light on the planet,

I forgot that

I too

am just as

precious

as any child, family member, friend, or client.

And now 

I remember!

I remember to choose me

and as I do

things fall

simply into place.

Mostly...

I love that I am raising my head again

to shine my light

and to be a positive

presence on 

this planet everyday

wherever I am.

Healing is not something that exists outside of any experience

and Reiki is an incredibly useful tool

in personal healing, even if

we consider healing to be the complete annihilation of disease,

we will often find that

healing is also the allowing of what is,

and the granting of peace

in the midst of the thing

that seems to be less

that peaceful, even in the midst of the thing

we may judge as evil, terrible, and unwholesome to our life.

The very thing that seems to steal our peace like a thief in the night.

Remaining in the center of 

my being is what gives me peace...

and it is what I am meant to learn

by the offering of chaos in my life.

No one ever told me that someday I would have a simple life, 

an easy life filled with nothing but bliss...

I thought if I was a good girl I would find that

just like a fairytale.

Who we are in each moment is a testament

to our faith, our love, and our connection

to eachother...

my actions define me far more than my words do.

I am a healer of me,

I am a shiner of light,

I remember my love of God

therefore

I remember my love of me,

and my love of you!

Happy Reiki Dreams and Love!

Namaste