Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Sitting on Tennis balls

This is my gorgeous border collie mix... her name is Sadie. Sadie lives with my ex right now, we can't have dogs where I am, but I get visitation until that changes. Her sister Daisy is getting ready to make her transition, we have about 2-3 weeks before that time right now; but Sadie seemed a bit blue the other day and i wanted to spend some time with her.

Today I took Sadie to our favorite park and we walked and talked and I even got to lay on the ground. In Florida I don't try to do that much because I do not like the aggressive insects... but this park is heaven because we don't have that problem there.

And here I sit after a beautiful morning with my dog, on tennis balls and yes you did hear me right... my rump is a achin' and the balls help tenterize all that rump muscle, thank goodness something does. I am feeling that familiar raw feeling as I sit here. The feeling that sneaks up on me to let me know that the people I love most are in turmoil, and that unconsciously I am sending them energy, my energy, universal energy, ANY energy, and somehow not recieving as much as I could be to keep the balance.

I relized this as I slopped dirty water all up in my face and on my clothing while cleaning the vacuum cleaner. I sure did make a mess! This is one of those funny feeling days, a day that feels not all the way right; but there is no evidence of anything wrong. These are the days that I have come to recognize as a warning type of day. Wouldn't it be nice if the warning was a bit more clear than an uneasy feeling that seems to permeate my space?

Sunday I recieved a message from my great-grandmother via a really talented English medium named Geoff. I never knew her but it was evident that she knew about me. That she too shared my love of Infinite spirit God, and that she understood how much I honor my spiritual path. It was a nice confirmation of the work that I have done in my life and with my clients.

I have realized just now that my deceased dog Haven is hanging around, probably much like family does when a person is getting ready to make their transition to the other side. Perhaps Haven has come to be here and wait for Daisy to make the transition. Boy I miss my Havie an awful lot! Maybe that is what the "somewhat wrong but nothing is wrong" feeling comes from.

I am teaching Reiki this weekend and I feel great about that! We always have such amazing and meaningful classes and I always have such incredible clearing and healing time in the weeks before each class. I feel like I wanted to share that with you... that even though there are days that feel off... life goes on and all is well...

Healing is not always bright and shiny with cotton candy colors and visions of chiors of angels singing and swooping down from heavens curing all our ails... BUT sometimes it comes Damn close... and when it doesn't, we can just know that the deep residue of the unhealed parts of ourselves have heard our calls for freedom and balance. And when we are called to wade through that part of our process, finding patience is sometimes as good as it gets!

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Magical Dragonfly Pose

Today I spent about 10-15 minutes in DRAGONFLY pose while experiencing my yin yoga. My hamstrings and I were having quite a chat regarding why on earth I was directing them to let go of the knee and hip joints at the same time. That pose is specific not only to stretch the body, but to release fear and anger. It actually is one of my favorite poses... apparently I enjoy conversing with my hamstrings.

Yin yoga gives us the time to relate to our bodies. To take 5-15 minutes in each pose if we so feel led and to allow the constrictions of the muscles and joints to tell us our own story. What we realize as we give over to the experience of the pose is that the constrictions that visit us through not being able to touch our toes are not so much about our physical body, but have much more to do with the frame of mind we currently operate from.

As I become present with the sensations that occur when doing deep mindful stretching my emotions begin to float up from the depths of the areas of the body that they have been stored in by that magnificent magical librarian of our emotions called... our limbic system. This is the time that the deep grumpy conversation with my hamstrings starts.

"You can stop now" "This hurts" "Seriously you can stop now... you will break me if you keep stretching me." "Fine you just hate me don't you?" "I can't do this" on and on this conversation goes. I don't hide from it, and I do not seek to silence the voice that lives within my hamstrings. I invite the inner dialogue so that I can understand my body and it's needs and fears even more. I have not listened to myself for many years, just like many people... pushing through life unwilling to take a moment to listen to my inner needs, wants, or desires.

This has hardened my body, joints, and my mind in different ways. For the past 5 years I have been undoing this type of behavior through hypnosis largely, yet I find that sometimes I still fall back on my old habits. For many of us that have endured the abuses of life, we can function primarily on what we can do for others, how many toys we can get, and definitely what and who does or does not make us feel safe and secure.

To encourage my body to face it's restrictions and to allow the emotions of fear, pain, anger, and rage a space to speak to me, I am giving a voice to my healing. I am not judging that these emotions exist and I am not trying to change them at all. I am not denying their existence in lieu of something better or a distraction that can make me feel better by pretending that they are not there, on the mat, in my yoga practice, or even in other aspects of my life... ALL other aspects I am certainly sure.

As I stretch and breathe and validate the feelings of the voices that are releasing themselves from deep within my muscle tissue I choose in each second not to give up, not to run away from my own precious Spirit, not to deny myself the freedom of health. Perhaps this courage comes from being a survivor of molestation, rape, spiritual abuse, and familial abuse. Or perhaps this is the courage of my own Spirit that planned this life to teach me that I can grow and learn and love no matter what experiences come to me.

On my mat I practice courage and faith... in each second. I face myself, my fear, my beliefs and the beliefs of my tribe. I stretch my body so that I can stretch my mind. I stretch my body so that my body, my mind, my emotions, and most importantly so that my Spirit knows beyond a shadow of a doubt... that I love myself enough to be real and to take care of the little boo boos and the larger hurts. Bent into the dragonfly position I face my life in it's entirety... the good the bad... every single thing. Reiki flows and I take my time, because I choose me...

There is no more important moment. There is no more important date or task than to just be in communion with that which honestly runs my life. It gives me to opportunity to listen in consciously to how my sub-conscious mind is seeing the world and me. It gives me the opportunity to right old wrongs whether inflicted by myself or another...

I can not change what has happened in my life, but I can certainly choose how to view and feel regarding each hurt or pain that my body uses to attempt to shut me down and send me into hiding. I no longer choose to hide... and the Reiki flows and the healing happens and I breathe... and only do I relent when the voice has quieted to a sweet understanding that there really is nothing to fear. Then it is time to move into a different pose and face what it brings up for me.

After that wonderful time in my yoga practice, I practiced qi gong and then conscious annointing with very specific essential oils so that I could assist myself in releasing deeply and healing completely. And in the end of this time there is nothing but peace and bliss to greet me as my eyes open and I face today...

I am incredibly blessed!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Diagnosis... energy field disturbance

According to NANDA, energy field disturbance is defined as the disruption of the flow of energy, or aura, surrounding a person's being that results in a disharmony of the body, mind, and/or spirit. (this diagnosis has been around since 2005-2006)

Nanda is the national board that figures out what nursing diagnosis is applicable to ALL nursing care. As I nurse I had to work with these while making out care plans.... oh LAWD did I ever excel at care plan making! This particular nursing diagnosis was adapted due to the increasing use of therapies like TT (therapeutic touch).
Cool huh?
I have a dream...
Really I do... my dream is that I get into the schools for doctors and nurses and attune their hind ends FAR before they become legal health care providers. My dream is that they become aware of the energy, orgone, ki, chi, qi, prana, ether that surrounds their bodies and makes up the stuff of their worlds! Think about that just for a second people... that the next time you HAVE to go and use the allopathic health care system that they not only understand the HEF (human energy field), but they embrace the fact that you are a practicing REIKI or Spiritual healer.
They recognise the importance of complimentary care and all you have done to further your education about the human body and it's systems. Your doctor takes a moment to look into your eyes, takes a nice deep breath with you and recognizes the need for relaxation and for preventative care that includes your wonderful daily yoga, Reiki, or Qi Gong program. She then says, "alright you have done a great job here... I am going to prescribe these antibiotics because we want to make use of the drugs that we can to get rid of this chest infection, but my dear it is clear to me that you have an energy field disturbance caused by not taking the time to get a good massage and meditate daily. WE must exercise our heart centers with self love before we can fill the cups of our loved ones. So that is my other prescription... meditation, massage, and love... keep up the good work!"
Seriously this is my dream and when I get that massage job in Lakeland working as a massage therapist in a brand spanking new medi-spa (you can tell I want this right?), I will be working with the nurses and doctors that 9 years ago I dreamed of training when I began my Reiki journey. OOOOOh changing the world one doctor and nurse at a time... sign me up!
The fact that the national organization that mandates the diagnosis for nursing care now included and energy field disturbance clause, well my friend times are changing. This is an incredible opportunity for anyone looking to break into the allopathic care system... I feel so encouraged and empowered to know that they can not argue with their own acceptable nursing diagnosis for care!
Rock on AMERICA and the forefathers of complimentary care methods in our health care system!
Today ROCKS!