Friday, November 22, 2013

Let's Chat... to Reiki or not to Reiki???

 So Let's chat.
Did you know I once had a student for Reiki that
was not going to take the class
that her heart yearned for because her
employer didn't believe in it?
 I also have had multiple students bow out of classes
due to lack of partner and family 
belief and participation.
I have even had students that left their partner for
being closed minded about Reiki once a class was taken.
 Take a look at these photos.
That's my fiance!!
This was a moment that made me love her oodles,
do you want to know why?
She was doing her own brand of Qi Gong.
Not because she is trained, not because she is interested in it
(although she may be)
but because she has a pretty awesome sense of humor.
You see I don't require my partner to believe in
the things that I believe in.
My practice, belief, or dedication to anything is my business
it's not hers.
Love is patient and love is kind.
Love does not give ultimatums and fight over space.
Love is simply love,
you find yourself requiring your partner to like what you like, 
to do things your way,
to understand what you find important,
to think like you,
to act like you,
oooooops you need to clone yourself.
Who wants to be with someone that has all the same interests?
Who wants to be with a robot?
Who wants to live that kind of boring,
hum drum,
dull existence?
 If Reiki gets it up for you, take the class.
If your partner forbids it... darlings that isn't about Reiki that is about your
If your partner does not understand what Reiki is,
why you are so into it,
or why on Earth you would waste your time...
smile sweetly and say gosh I just love it when you support my interests.
And at some point simply ask them if they would like to know more.
Sometimes people poke fun at things they do not
understand and are too embarrassed to ask about.
 Sadly some people still believe that asking questions means the same thing as being
dumb or stupid.  People do have Egos, good, bad, or indifferent
you will most likely meet the ego in the people that you feel
judge you.
You can take the bait and let your baggage talk to their baggage or
you can take the higher road and support yourself
by only talking to people that support your decisions in the beginning.
Remember you didn't choose your partner through the eyes of Reiki 
if you had, they would be with you on the Reiki train.
Requiring your partner to get on a new train that 
you want to ride is not only selfish,
it is pretty single-minded. It's like your partner signing you up to jump out of an 
airplane because they think it would be fun.
 Sit down and feel this out folks.
would you want your partner to sign you up for 
boot camp fitness just because they think it is good for you?
That they require you to go on the days of the weeks and times of the day
they deem appropriate?
Just imagine the things your partner may be thinking about your sudden interest in
something that doesn't seem to even be real or have any importance.
Just imagine what it would be like for a very grounded and scientifically minded individual to 
watch their lover holding their hands quietly over
someones body... possibly with their eyes closed.
It might be laughable! 
Heck I might even laugh at that.
 The next time that you get the bright idea to 
"do" Reiki in your home
or on your spouse to change the energy...
be aware they probably feel like everything is just fine.
They probably feel they are happy the way they are.
No one likes forced change.
My dears if you are focussing on your Partner because you think Reiki will
change your relationship...
OH YEAH Reiki will change your relationship;
you may encounter more distance, grumbling, and flat out disgust
about the things you are doing, the things you are
thinking about your partner and the space you share,
that creates war not peace.
You can not force Reiki or any belief on anyone for their own good or not!
Reiki is not the set for the boxing ring where you go to face off against your partner.
It's not about fight,
or rigidity.
If your partner does not want to participate so what,
not everyone likes yard work, knitting, running, swimming,
dogs, cats, birds, or snakes.  
Not everyone cares about
becoming more healthy, thinking differently, or healing the world.
Seriously folks, thank goodness for that!
I can be good at what I do.
I'm a great Reiki facilitator for those that think it is important.
I am a pretty dang good cook and I am awesome at 
running a house hold, getting people fed, and teaching boundaries.
I'm great at loving people, decent at writing.
I have a great time teaching and doing Reiki.
I love learning and am passionate about my spirituality.
I adore my partner and doing things she likes gives me a great deal of happiness.
I also happen to be decent at reading energy, helping people find patterns that make them unhappy and unhealthy, and sometimes I can talk to the dead.
Does that mean my partner gets it?
Does it mean she is on board?
Does it mean we hold freaky deaky seances nightly?
No you guys, it doesn't.
We do laundry and housework, we watch movies and make dinner,
we clean, we walk dogs, we love eachother.
We even don't always understand eachother. 
Reality is that is about as normal as it gets and she knows if she
ever wants to really know about anything I do she can ask.
And if not that is ok too.
Give yourselves and your relationships a break.
Go ahead and love Reiki if you want to and let your family and partner love what they love.
Choose freedom and love every time!

Friday, November 1, 2013


It's taken me far too long to finally sit down and try to figure out how to write this.

I recently went to West Virginia to help take care of my
partner's grandmother who was 96, almost 97 years young!
None of us expected things to happen the way they did.
She declined rapidly and my partner and her family
lost a really sharp minded, stunning woman.
I was lucky enough to witness the
incredible love and connection of this
stupendously large family.
Lola was the youngest of 15 children 16 if you count a twin that passed at birth.
I was privileged to hear Lola look at an old photo and tell us
the history of each sibling.  I got to feel for the
first time in my life what it must be to have family roots.
The land we were on was tilled by the blood, sweat, and tears of the Christopher family.
Truly their heritage laid in the very soil I walked on.
I didn't have that kind of family history so it was pretty
incredible to hear the stories and be shown the places where the family
had worked, lived, and loved.
My partners aunt and her husband just lived down the road to give Lola
the opportunity to have assistance but to retain her
independence.  I realized as we shared her home in those last days how
important her independence was to her and how very much
her family loved her to try and keep that option
open to her.
By the end of this visit that was filled with the deep sadness of losing
their loved one there was also a rekindling of the fire of family in the hearts
and minds of those Lola was connected to and served in her life.
She loved animals and there were reminders of that everywhere I turned.
It's no wonder that my partner has the huge heart that she does,
her Grandmother meant everything to her.  I got pretty
good at being able to pick out Lola's siblings from old photos of family
reunions and remembering who was married to whom.
I did what I could to help the family out,
it's not always easy to know what to do in a situation like that.
What I do know is that the lessons
in love, patience, and connection I learned while
I was there may be some of the most important lessons I have
ever been so honored to learn.
Her funeral was held in a church that her own mother made sure
was built, and to Lola's credit the gentleman
conducting the service never had dry eyes.  I find myself wishing I had
a little more time with Lola to hear about the history of her family
and to see life through her eyes.
My love for the elders of our world started with my own grandmother
and it continued when I became a nurse.  I have literally spent
hundreds of hours listening to late night stories, having cookie
tea parties, and shed tears with the elders of the communities
I have lived in as I worked in elder care for 10 years.  I have watched at their
lives have been turned upside down by disease and lack of money, I have watched as they have
been sequestered to 12x10 foot spaces and made to share a room
with a complete stranger.
I have watched as their choices have dwindled in
front of their eyes, to the point that they may not even be allowed
to choose their own clothing or take their time with their own
care because staff is rushed to meet quotas.
I have watched as once powerful people have been shrunken down to what
other people choose for them.
I can't tell you how relieved I am that this was not Lola's experience,
nor was it my grandmothers. Hospice made sure of that.
This is the reason I have decided to go back to school and
further my nursing education.
I want to work on hospice cases and be certain people always retain their dignity and choices.
I will be forever grateful to my partner for trusting me enough to allow me to care for her loved one, and forever grateful that Lola reminded me where the heart of my career