Monday, November 22, 2010

Our Agreements

Agreements are the things we make daily with ourselves, our families, our co-workers, and society. They are the unconscious voices inside our minds and sometimes inside our very hearts that help us to function in the world.

As lightworkers the agreements that we make often define who we think we are in the world. Making an agreement to heal the world is a large endeavor!

Some of us are aware of the agreements that we have made regarding healing our community, and yet a larger part of us are not aware of the conscious agreements we have made; and even more important may be the subconscious agreements we make without even a clue of what we are doing or why.

This is the time of the year that heralds the harvesting of our past year's endeavors. It is also the time of the year that is most ripe for us to look at the things that are not working in our lives and evaluate anything that is draining us of precious time and energy.

As the Winter months approach it is a time for self reflection and going deeply inside ourselves to prepare for the next cycle. Many times in the hustle and bustle of daily life these natural flows are not noticed or celebrated, yet they remain important to us all in learning to manage ourselves and our agreements.

Questions to ask yourself are:
Are my agreements to people in my life more important than my agreements to myself?
Are the agreements that I uphold as a global light worker for my community balanced with my own personal self care?
Do I feel drained after I have said YES to an activity to help others?
Do I have a daily self care program in place and do I follow it no matter what is happening in my life?

If you are feeling drained, taken advantage of, or as if there is not enough time to get things done for other people and you consistently place yourself on the back burner; you may be dealing with some agreements and self expactations that could be altered just a tiny bit to support your life and your healing work. We don't want to throw out the baby with the bath water... we just want to find the path of least resistance when searching for a balance in our healing and lightworking activities and our own personal health.

Good Luck!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Growing and loving it!

It sure does seem that life has hit hyperactive speed as the changes in my life pass in front of me. Last year at this time I had finally made a firm choice regarding relocating to Lakeland, it seems like eons have passed since that time.

Incredibly I am on my way to becoming a house owner, something I never really believed I would do. I left the only job I ever really liked to go to everyday due to the relocation, and I loved my job mostly because of the incredible co-workers I had, and today I am on the precipuce of starting a completely different job doing something I have never done before.

This year I have seen both my children graduate highschool and take college classes. I have lost a lover and a dog. I have stepped away from numerous friendships that became toxic to me. I have been told that according to my blood work I have anemia, tachycardia for which I have started medication, and most recently my blood work ruled out lupus and rheumatoid arthritis, therefore fibromyalgia is on the table. I have also lived through loved ones suicide attempts and mental illness. I have cried harder, stretched further than ever out of my comfort zone than I ever have in my entire life. (Up until now you would have thought I had been through enough). I have stepped away from my office and really held back from working my business due to personal and family trauma. I have seen Reiki Masters made, and succeed beyond mine and their own wildest expectations.

I have said NO to people that I never thought I would, and I have said YES to special people that I never truly understood.

More than any of this, what has become so evident to me is the hand of God upon my life. Never before has God showed up for me in such a 3rd dimensional life altering way, at least not when I have been this grounded and conscious of it.

I have traversed the waters of Blue Springs with my family splashing about in the healing waters. I have seen cassadaga with a very special person and even shared a hot fudge Sunday. I have been witness to the healing of the Gulf with Dr Emoto and my sweet and brilliant friend Kumari. I have been invited to spend time with wonderful friends that make a kick butt margarita! I have spent time in the aquarium and whole foods in Tampa (woohoo!) I have attended one day retreats and 4 day seminars. I have a great new friend in my dog Eli and his new brother Malakai. I wake up daily to the sunrise on the lake behind my home. I dream of meditation gardens and jasmine to be planted in my yard. I welcome this new job and all it offers me.

With all of the loss and turbulence that has been so center in my life since 2007, as I look back I wonder how I stayed put together, how I continued to raise my girls, how I kept myself sane.

The answer of course is God, my devotion to my calling of being a teacher, the beloveds that have entered my life, and my devoted Reiki practice. My life is truly blessed and my only wish is to live it in the way that anyone watching can feel that blessing and take some for themselves.
That is all any of us can really offer. That someone else is uplifted in our presence without even uttering a single word. That is truly a God Touched life!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Here, Now, Today!

This is what the sky looked like right above the Gulf Water Blessing that Dr Emoto and my friend Kumari did for the damage to the water and the animals in the Gulf due to the oil spill.
We spent a delightful day hearing them both speak before we went to pass-e-grill for the blessing. The sky turned dark gray and black, but right above us this was the incredible picture. I wanted to share that moment with you. That was a day that I won't soon forget!
Updates on Eli!
He is still getting big!
He has monsterous paws, well okay not monsterous, but large anyway.
He loves people.
He loves stuffed animals and the snowy fuzz they contain as he gleefully
deposits it around the floor of our house.
He deals with baths, but they are not his favorite.
He pushes people with his nose when they walk through his penned area.
(I'm beginning to think he is coralling everyone.)

Most of all though he is my teacher and my friend.
Being a student of energy for going on 20 years now...
This little guy has taught me more about
being in the now moment than any teacher or technique.
In the study I have embarked on reading Cesar Millan training books
and watching his National Geographic show,
I have witnessed time and again the power of the moment of now.
Eli teaches me each day about being in the now,
it is so simple for me to understand.
Dogs take this day and this moment, they don't worry or fret over the future or the past.
If their owner is fretting the dog becomes an immediate and direct mirror
for the energy of that thought process by pulling on the leash, getting excited and jumping at people, barking uncontrollably.
"The human is un-grounded!!!"
the dogs
scream with their behavior,
what tattle tails!
Eli simply yanks on the leash as if he has somewhere to get to,
pulling me along,
my focus in the beginning was that I needed to get him under control; but the reality was that even during a simple walk,
in some parts of myself I was out of control, in the future or in the past;
but certainly not in the now.
I have had incredible opportunities to learn about Reiki Energy
during our walks.
Eli never lies to me about me.
For years I thought about how wonderful it was for dogs to put their trust in the humans,
what I have learned is that I must place
trust in Eli on an equal level,
our relationship is symbiotic. Even though he looks to me to provide
for his needs and safety,
I rely on him for his companionship and protection.

He is still young, infact he will be 5 months old tomorrow!
I am happy to have the opportunity to share my life and time with such a noble companion!
I look forward to more lessons with
Master Elijah of the Crystal Waters....
Thats his big long name
sounds fancy doesn't it?

Saturday, August 7, 2010

The new arrival!

3 more days until I return to the world of working a full time job. The last two months have consisted of continuous and sometimes arduous planning for the relocation of myself and my family to Lakeland Florida, let alone the sheer brute strength of mind, heart, body, and soul that accompanies any move of house and home.

I have been planning the relocation of my world for over a year now. Planning for the move, the job, the family, and to re-introduce my Border Collie Australian Shepard mix, Sadie; back into my daily life. I left her with my ex 3 years ago when I relocated my family across town, we couldn’t have dogs at the time. Our agreement was that Sadie would come to be with me when I was able to have pets again. I have to say I had been eagerly awaiting her daily smile!

As the time came near my ex had other ideas about surrendering my dog to me and in the end, I hate to say it, Sadie is not living here in my home with me. I had a very hard time at first dealing with what I perceived to be someone that went back on a promise. I felt betrayed, used, and ultimately lied to; but as many people say exes are exes for a reason. I consulted my good friend Kumari of who works with Reiki and Animal Communication. I wanted to know where Sadie stood with the decisions that were being made around her.

Through the session it was clear that Sadie considered me her mother and also had a tie to my ex as she felt she was needed to help with healing in her current home. She lacked the ability to make a decision between two people. Sadie is not a Pack Leader dog, she is a follower and the concept of choosing for herself confounded her. Currently Sadie lives in a home with 7 other animals. My hope had been to have her with me as the only four-legged pet in my home, (even though I had been feeling and seeing a puppy and Sadie together for a few months before the move) so that her last years she would feel comfortably dotted on. I figured the puppy would come in a year or two after she had been here with my family for a while and we had shared many fun adventures together.

My perception of what I found to be a better option for her really fell flat when my ex said that Sadie would not be living with me. Just for today do not anger flew right out the window as I attempted to make sense of what was happening. I was certain that Sadie was going to be here with me, why on Earth would someone keep a dog that was not theirs? Alas she is here in Spirit certainly, and she did come for a field trip with me once before I moved so she could see where we would be living.

In the end I have found some peace because I believe that she is in no danger, her life is not the optimal life of a dog like her, she certainly does not get many field trips or adequate exercise, but she is needed and loved and I can finally find a place to begin to forgive myself for leaving her there in the first place, there had been other options when I left 3 years ago, but an agreement was made and I trusted that agreement. 1st lesson is get things in writing!

Moving right along… now we are here in Lakeland. My desire to share my life with one of the canine species was still strong as I was grappling with my disappointment and sadness. In walks the universe!

I took a trip to the local SPCA to just look at dogs; I really wasn’t set on getting one right away. I was set on finding a puppy that would be soft like Sadie with the same kind of quiet regal gentleness that she has. There were not many puppies there that day, apparently it was cat season, I kept seeing a puppy running past the door at the end of the hallway and I said to myself “No, that is a gladiator dog; it couldn’t be the puppy that is calling me.” I glanced at the dogs in the cages but still felt myself pulled to visit with the sweet energy that was utterly oblivious to me outside that glass door.

I made my way to the back door and requested to meet the pup that was outside with one of the volunteers. I got down on the ground and called the little guy over to me. It was evident that this little guy had quite a full and open-heart energy. He seemed eager to please, and I even felt the same type of gentle energy that resides within Sadie. He was calm when I lifted him into the air. He was bright eyed and his coat was soft. Before I knew it I had fallen helplessly for this sweet little gladiator. My roommate hung back watching as the minutes unfolded and began to realize that yes indeed this was the pup that would be joining the household.

I spent quite awhile outside with him trying to talk myself out of what I felt was going to happen next. We were told that this little guy had been brought in on a truck just a day before from Louisiana, a casualty of the need that the Gulf Oil Spill has caused, animals are being shipped to nearby states so that the SPCA’s in Louisiana could keep up with the demand they are now facing. I was handed his papers and I decided that before I actually made the decision to adopt this little gladiator I would give the grown animals a try.

We walked down the row of adult dogs that were there, although some were precious and beautiful, no one captured my attention or engaged my heart energy the way my little gladiator did. I promptly found the people I needed to and I filled out the paperwork to adopt him. I was not allowed to take him home that day, he needed to have his Gentleman’s surgery, so we spent the evening gearing up for his home-coming which included a trip to the bookstore to find a book on puppy rearing written by my idol Cesar Millan.

In hindsight a few things have become clear to me, no matter what we perceive, life unfolds the way it unfolds, we have no control. It is how we handle each challenge and disappointment that counts. My choice not to fight over Sadie, to let go of control, hurt, and heart pain that has nothing to do with her but has everything to do with the relationship my ex and I had, allows me to enjoy the spiritual relationship I have and always will have with Sadie. It also allows me to heal on even deeper levels from a relationship that hadn’t been working for years and years. It has given me the ability to understand that had Sadie come to live here from the beginning of this relocation journey, my little gladiator might end up in the hands of someone that would possibly not be as responsible or as prepared to handle his specific breed.

Sometimes I have the idea to apply Reiki to the situations in my life wanting the outcome to be the thing I desire, sometimes it is easy to forget that there is a universal plan that flows for everyone’s highest and best good in the midst of disappointment. In my life I have held the belief that everything happens for a reason for so very long that the change in plans regarding Sadie has allowed me to sober up some. To surrender to the flow of my life, and to allow myself to be happily surprised and awed about how things unfold in the perfect timing for me right now, is a breath of fresh air that I have been wishing for. Besides, who is to say that Sadie may come to live with me after all… only time will tell.

And, now I would like to introduce to you to my little gladiator!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Releasing Grief with Reiki

Grief comes in many forms, from loss of a favorite pendulum, to loss of a friendship, loss of a relationship, and loss through death... each level of loss holds it's own challenge and grace.

How we move through this is just as individual as each of us are. Some people busy themselves with tasks and some sit in silence bound by the tears that echo the devastation felt in their hearts.

The gift of Reiki is that no matter the style of grieving there is always a way to choose to accept healing and light into an experience that seems to lack just those kinds of gifts.

Many people hang on to the energy of their object of grief by continuously focussing on the loss. Difficult as it may sound, it is the releasing of the need for this energy that will begin to lift the spell of pain and sorrow for ourselves and all of the people involved.

When we allow ourselves to elevate our grief to a space of healing and self knowledge we can gracefully move through the need to hang on to other people's energy we have been using to fill ourselves; and learn to love the time we have had, and the new kind of relationship that is available to us as we allow the past to be the past and stop trying to breathe life into something that is robbing us of our peace.

Daily Reiki practice invites a receptive quality that is often pushed away in times of distress. Grief will most often cause a person to want to be isolated and protected.

Daily Reiki practice creates the foundation that people can use to move gently and honestly through loss and all the feelings that come with it. Offering a consistent, genuine, and loving option to diving into the depths of pain. If we find ourselves lost in the depths of our own pain, daily practice gives us the tools to be open to the guiding and loving light that Reiki represents.

Grief allows us to clearly see our lives, illuminating the good and the stagnant areas that we might not other wise be aware of. It allows us to surrender to the greater flow of life and to learn to ask for help. Grief can be a gift that encourages a balanced and healthy flow of friends and loved ones who take up the gauntlet for us as we heal.

Grief illuminates our own areas that need healing. These "blind spots" become evident all too easily. Choosing to be loving and sweet with ourselves with daily Reiki practice and weekly Reiki treatments can not only increase our sense of inner peace and love, it can strengthen our resolve to live freshly the life ahead of us.

Being aware of the need to release the energy of the loss and the people involved will assist you when you are setting the intentions for healing and for your life.

Being aware of the possibility that you are willing to learn from your relationships, come to peace with what has happened, and to forgive anything that feels negative or keeps you stuck in the past is a powerful boon to your personal healing.

Grief is as individual as our finger prints, it is necessary, it is healthy. When the experience of grief overpowers and superceeds the good or healthy experience of life it has become a hinderance to health. An increased awareness of grace, love, and forgiveness is necessary. When we cease to function we detract from our life, our light is hidden, and we suffer, feeling lost and alone. Reiki offers us a choice to prefer light, to prefer health... to grow through the good and challenging times.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Healing Crisis... Why do I feel bad?

The beauty of healing modalities like Reiki is that they are so simple. In fact I have yet to come across a modality that is as simple as Reiki. The deep healing that comes along with such a profound system includes actual transformation of your living system which is at least a fine tuning of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual reality. At most it is a complete healing encompassiong total system alignment resulting in greater health and well being.

The interesting part is that people just do not truly understand the way some healing works. When we are new to a path, no matter what the path is, there is a time of adjustment and self assessment. When opening the doorway to knowing the inner self and healing the inner turmoil many of us harbor within our minds and bodies it is time to make adjustments. The moment we realize that we are in need of healing many of us can envision sudden and complete healing, as if a magical wand is waived over our heads and things are simply; well, better!

After Reiki sessions you may have incredible feelings of openness, wonder, and bliss. You may notice that things that used to bother you no longer do. You may notice that life feels easier and things take on a much more beautiful elegant glow. You may notice that your aches and pains have eased and possibly disappeared! You may notice healings in relationships around you, or a desire to heal the relationships you are in. You may notice that your world is changing right before your eyes as you INTEND to usher wellbeing and happiness into your life.

Now picture if you can a bottle filled with water (that is you). Also picture hundreds of colored sands (these are emotions and experiences). When we come in to our lives we are much like the bottle of clear pure water... as our lives unfold, imagine pouring different colored sands in one after another. Our body doesn't really choose one experience over the other as good or bad to pay attention to; however it does begin to store these emotions and experiences as we begin to judge them. If you are really paying attention to this exercise you may begin to notice that the sands of our experiences and emotions start to compact together, so that the first experiences and emotions are in much deeper layers of our being than the more recent ones.

Reiki is like the hand that lifts up the bottle and begins to move it. Only the top layers will begin to move, grain by grain of sand... We might not be very conscious of the things we have stored inside our being. OR... We may be very conscious of what we are storing there as we have tried to ignore and overcome our past, and we may recognize what we have been doing is just not working.

After Reiki sessions you may also feel emotional, tired, angry, sad, or flu like. Infact there have been deep healings where people have become nauseated and run to the bathroom. Joints may ache more as the sands of our lives are disturbed and released from the body. You may not recognize yourself or the people in your life. You may suddenly not understand how your life is working or why you have the people in it that you do. These effects are just as natural and necessary as the effects that make you feel blissed out and in love with the world.

When we ask for health, healing, wellbeing, and happiness... we are asking for those things that are hurdles to that goal to be revealed to us. We are simply asking to be shown what is not working... and being given the opportunity to take steps to alter our path to a more harmonious one. This means dealing with how we want to feel and how we feel but do not want to feel. Reiki leaves no stone unturned.

I leave you with these thoughts and words to begin to possibly rekindle your desire for balance and grace through bodywork and healing modalities that offer you opportunities for growth. Happy New Year!