Sunday, January 19, 2014

Stop! Don't move!

I've been gifted with a couple days to spend with a friend.
It's amazing how being away from your normal environment
can make things feel more clear.

I have never been very good at making sure that
I am balanced with healing, working, cleaning, and relationships.
That is why I am such a planner.
Plus I need to plan things into my life to look forward to.

Opening my eyes this morning was a pleasure.
There was no where to go and nothing to do...
A sentence I often have used with my hypnosis clients. 
The reality for someone like me is that I
do need quiet solitude to get my thoughts
together and to claim the center of myself.

Always being in action and "doing" something is not
a completely healthy way to be for me.
Some people can not function in silence and stillness,
they just have to move and have to be doing something.
That is not the kind of girl I am.
For me to be healthy I need ample recharge time.

I spent 30 minutes this morning doing my self Reiki in utter silence.
I love that my heart center opened up wide and
just drank in the energy.
I also know that my friends will have breakfast ready at some point
and coffee that will taste spectacular.
The incredible thing about being able
to have time in a quiet space like this is how much insight
it gives me into my friends and their relationship with
eachother and with me.

It also gives me space around my head.
I know that sounds silly but empathic people have a habit
of hearing the thoughts and feelings of those closest
to them. 
So the actual air feels loud. 
It can also feel thick.
And it can feel confusing because the mistake can be made
that everything we feel is our own feeling.

So going away is like a re-boot to the system.
It puts things in perspective and
I get to hang out with some pretty incredible people.

I guess this is my way of saying
hey everyone slow down.
When you have a chance, stop creating things
to keep you busy.
Stop moving so much and be quiet.
Be slow and be deliberate.

Recently there was a murder of someone that
was a part of the Qi Gong foundation that I love
so much.  Someone put together a tribute video to her
Every photo was a reminder of her vibrance and her
dedication to her family and the people she worked with.
She really was beautiful inside and out.
Her life was taken at the tender age of 34.
The point is...
Stopping to smell the roses and enjoy them is
the only way to really get something out of my life.
Time to purposely plan some rest breaks in my life.
If I dont take care of me that way
I probably wont be much fun to be around!

Sunday, January 5, 2014

When a heart breaks and lessons are learned

 It is always interesting to me the way we learn things in life.  Some of the most powerful messages are the ones that hurt so terribly.

This is Jada, I was very happy to rescue her.  She had an incredibly sweet energy about her and my hopes were to bring that energy out in her through PTSD training.  While she resided here with us I learned some things about myself that I didn't really know.

I prefer Pit bulls to all other breeds.  
They are survivors.
They have a gameness about them that most people mistakenly think is aggression.
Gameness is just a term for a self confident dog.
Because of my fibromyalgia a pit is a good choice for me, they need exercise and they are sturdy so if If I fell I knew I wouldn't break her.  
Also larger dogs can help people get up from falls if they happen and 
give a feeling of safety that I didn't know I was missing until working with her.
The energy and need for exercise helped to get me up and moving each day, it was like having a partner that didn't judge the pain or the slow motion or slow brain,
just a patient partner meeting me wherever I was whatever day it was.
Jada had energy but she also was a bit on the lazy side. 
She liked to play and she liked to cuddle, 
and she loved playing with other dogs.
It was amazing to watch her joy in using her body and she tussled and ran with other dogs in the dog park.
It was incredibly satisfying to work with her and watch her win again and again
as she started to let go of her fear of noises, brooms, and hands being raised over her head,
yup she is a survivor!
The thing I loved about Jada was her incredible awareness of energy.
Dogs understand energy.
People make the mistake of treating dogs like humans,
dogs don't think like humans so most accidents with dogs are 
human error, which is sad; yet even sadder in a breed like a pit because then the breed is blamed
and they are tagged as dangerous dogs when really they are operating
from the mentality of dog thinking which is pack mentality.

My nephew and I recently had a small chat on facebook regarding 
Breed specific legislation. 
Being a Reiki practitioner in the state of Florida
Reiki is governed under the massage board.
This happened due to people mismanaging and abusing the term Reiki, so to
protect the mass public it became a regulated modality.
Some people agree with this and some people don't.
I understand why it happened.
People were hurt.

BSL for American Pit Bulls
is a hard topic for pit bull lovers.
No one wants to be told that their beloved animal is not welcome in their city and or state.
Yet no one wants these animals victim to the dog fighting
rings of unscrupulous people either.
Its a sore topic.
What I do know is that people that do not understand gameness, pack energy, and that are lazy dog owners should never ever think to own a pit bull.
Pits require responsible, active, loving, and breed specific understanding owners.

The ingredients then for a terrible accident happened when I was out of town.
Jada had been spayed 4 days prior so her hormones were out of control.
I had lined up a behaviorist to come in and view the behaviors of the other two dogs
with Jada because I was witnessing some unbalanced behavior in all three dogs that was really starting to surface when I started her training and the training of the other two as I was working with her.

The first human error was absolutely that I left her at the house
instead of taking her with me.
My gut wanted her to go visiting my friend with me,
but due to their dogs I didn't want her to hurt her operation site, they would have played hard.
I thought I was protecting her.
Tragedy struck late that night when indeed one of the behaviors
I was concerned about caused Jada to "protect" her space.
Another dog was hurt badly and in all honesty is lucky to be alive.
There were many things that went into the perfect recipe for disaster and it
still makes me sick to think about it.

The reality is that this was a tragic accident, but I had to return 
Jada to the rescue that I got her from.
I almost couldn't do it,
I had become so attached to her.
The reality is that Jada isn't to blame any more than the hurt dog.
When humans make decisions sometimes those decisions just aren't the right ones.
We can't Blame the dogs, or the breeds, nor can we blame eachother for a terrible accident.
The hardest part is that the behaviorist was coming only 4 days later,
just 4 little days.

My point in sharing this is that I learned that
I absolutely function far better with a doggy friend that is of the larger
variety.  Whether that is because they are able to hold more energy
or because of my past of being abused I am not sure.
I believe in fate and I believe that everything
happens for a reason.
I know for a fact that Jada is not dangerous, if she was both smaller dogs here would
have been attacked.
I have really done the work to release the sadness here, sometimes it
grips my heart and I think I wont breathe again,
but all in all I am ok.
When the time comes again for me to venture into the world of canine companion the behaviorist will be inline first, I will be working with a female and a puppy
from the beginning to be sure that everyone in the family is on the same page.
All dogs same rules is pack mentality,
humans have to understand that for harmony.

Dogs don't see size.
They see energy.
They look for balance.
In a pack a sick dog will be killed because it is out of balance,
there is no remorse, its done for the good of the pack.
If a dog is anxious, nippy, or nervous a pack will
correct it, if it can not correct it, they will kill it.
That is how dogs see the world.
Balance or lack of balance.
We humans need to remember that so that all of our dogs
in every city and state and park can be together
in peace and fun.

That is how energy works.
Our dogs are our mirrors.
When we understand that we can come a long way in dealing with our own