Letting go

 One thing I have always used this blog for is to use my own personal

experiences to illustrate how to use Reiki and other techniques during challenging times.

That sweet puppy is Elijah.

Eli was a fantastic wonderful boy who I enjoyed very very much.

Eli was also ill and recently he went to doggy heaven,

I still catch myself trying to get home to let him out,

then I realize he is with God.

And

I know he is also with me.

 A very important pattern in my life is my ability to again and again make some really

tough decisions, to let go of people that are unable to  be

a positive influence in my life.

Setting boundaries for loved ones is not simple, it is not always cut and dry, and it is

truly the most incredible lesson in intimate self care that I have really ever experienced.

We all have loved and lost.

We have lived and even felt as though with the loss of loved ones that we have died a little.

Loss is one of the most meaningful character building experiences that a person can have.

We can be dragged down under the weight of it and drown in the pain,

or we can somehow make a choice to find a speck of light and focus on it.

Recently I began to feel shame regarding the many experiences I have had in my life that have 

ended in loss, loss of innocence, loss of identity, loss of strength, and due to some of those experiences

such confusion that I was really unable to understand or feel that I had the ability to choose.

I was a good girl and did what I was told, believed what I was told, and never questioned if I should listen.

I have not felt shame about my past in years.  

I have come to understandings that have led me to understand why some people do suffer life experiences

such as I have had,

and how successfully moving through them creates love, patience, and understanding for those

who have had similar experiences.

 I am completely humbled by the gift the Elijah has given me to once again

face reality and to choose the best and highest good for him and for me.

To feel certain it was the right thing to do.

Some people can not accept that somethings must be done,

some people would make different decisions,

that is OK too.

This short life Eli shared with me taught me so much about love and acceptance.

His departure from this dimension caused me to search for even deeper faith,

challenged my faith,

and allowed me to feel deep and hidden shame for the parts of my past that are yet unhealed.

How does this have anything to do with Reiki?

Again... for me everything has to do with Reiki.

With judgement, especially judgement from loved ones can come pain.

The confusing thing is that we make an error and think that the loved one is trying to hurt us.

Often we stay confused and hurt about it and never look deeper.

I have been practicing and learning from Reiki for 13 years now.

I have learned through daily application,

through persistence,

through self challenge that rarely is the surface thought the real issue.

Through allowing Eli to rest and through 

releasing people from my life and inviting others in

the past 3 months have really cut deeply into the other layers of

my psyche that were not ready to heal.

What I now know is that living the way someone else thinks I should is an error.

I have learned that the pattern of being a good girl still exists within me and deserves some healing attention.

I have learned that other people don't have to understand me, it's not a requirement.

I am re-learning that judgement is a form of abuse and I do not have to tolerate it in my life.

I have awakened to my own power... not as a mother, or a friend, or a lover

but simply as a human.

I have re-committed myself to Reiki, teaching, and learning.

I have re-committed to myself before anyone or anything else.

This is a fundamental and precious honor I do myself.

Reiki functions as the back bone and as the laser scalpel that slices deeply

into the very things that must be healed to be whole and to 

serve myself and my community.

It is with this deepest work that I truly honor

myself,

my partner,

my children,

my grandchildren,

my mother,

my ancestors,

my family,

my friends,

and

my loved ones in Spirit.

Being broken is the easy part,

finding courage to stand up to all the ghosts that made you feel broken

that's the true meaning of

Wholeness, strength, and fortitude.

Namaste!

I love finding random works of art that illustrate the energy that exists between people.

This specific picture could be two people talking

however, I'd prefer to believe they are having

a loving, long, lingering kiss.

One of the things that I love that I learned in my Tantric studies

is the act of eye gazing.

 

It doesn't sound like much.  Looking into someone's eyes, but if you have ever felt

love for another human and gazed with the softness of that

love into the eyes of your beloved

there is nothing that is more

intimate, complete, or honest.

 

Everyone has heard the saying the eyes are the gateway to the soul.

 

In Reiki we teach that you can "beam", essentially send Reiki using the eyes and a soft gaze

to open ourselves up to the flow of the energy.

The softness of the gaze is the trick.

 

Have you ever had someone just using their eyes come into your space

and make you feel uncomfortable?

So uncomfortable that you look away or perhaps change your body language,

or even leave the area?

The eyes and the intent behind them are quite powerful, and the person that

uses a direct stare to intimidate or cause harm may not understand all they are really communicating.

 

What a gift then to have at our disposal.

What a powerful talisman we have to communicate the deepest and most secret parts

of our love with our beloved, our life partner, our children.

 

I was recently gifted with an experience of sharing Reiki with my own beloved.

I have shared Reiki in the past with friends, family, clients, and lovers,

yet...

I have never been so humbled nor so blessed during a session.

 

I have the incredible opportunity to love a person that is in my eyes fearless.

A person that moves forward confidently and passionately.

A person that is probably the strongest and safest person I have ever met.

A person that I can't imagine ever living without.

 

I was given an incredible gift when I was given permission to give my own beloved Reiki.

The grace and ease with which the energy began to flow was heightened because of

my own loving and cherishing feelings toward my partner.  

There was an immediate opening within my own heart. 

There was an experience of  one-ness that I have only ever had

while sitting with trees in nature or gazing at the majesty of the ocean.

Selflessness, peace, comfort...

and more that can not be described by mere words and phrases.

It is moments like this with my Beloved that cause me to feel blessed and humbled,

that someone so honorable, honest, true, and incredible

sees past my quirks and my selfconsciousness...

sees past my own limiting thoughts about myself and gazes at me with the 

incredible silky softness of love from her incredibly deep and soulful eyes.

 

It is my one desire to everyday find a way to create

a special and meaningful moment of honestly and lovingly gazing

at the one person that makes me want to be a better more loving person.

It is my deepest desire to use everything I know

to create deeper and more loving moments every single day

in celebration of life and love between us.

 

Reiki unknowingly gave me more passion and more fire to study even more deeply

the connection between the lovers and how to use Reiki to heal

and deepen the bond between people that yearn for a once in a lifetime love.

Thank goodness,

I have been waiting my entire life!!

 

Reiki blessings!!!!

I don't know if you guys remember or not but I love Calligraphy.

Recently the schools in this area basically abolished teaching the children handwriting skills,

I personally find that abhorrent!

I used to love learning to write.  I have a memory of being in Kindergarten sitting in a classroom with noisy kids and I sat staring at the wall behind the teacher, where the large and small letters of the alphabet

stood advertized.  Somehow I knew even at that age, that the keys to many secrets

were lying within my ability not only to learn those letters perfectly,

but in understanding how to combine them, carefully, eloquently, and masterfully.

So my love of calligraphy at times takes me to the words of poets long gone.

What better way to practice a craft than to beautify

already meaningful and voluptuous phrases and romantic ideals;

than with the careful curves and striking strength of each letter penned

carefully across the page.

The only thing more meaningful than that is the heart that burns within a chest

that yearns to make a difference, or touch a soul

by the very work of your own hands?

As if the words take on a living breathng life of their own because of the care and

tenderness with which each letter is written...

I have had moments in my life where what I feel for a person

seems cheapened, and sadly with lack of true majesty, the 

words uttered didn't even come close to expressing the deepest most intimate

meanings of my heart and soul.

It's a travesty!

There was a time when distance indeed made the heart grow fonder, where written letters were sent to the beloveds of our heart.

A time when we made ready to receive that special someone after weeks

and sometimes months of waiting, 

before the internet what we had was paper and pen.

we had quiet time that was used to muse and to remember

the lingering looks and the sweet words uttered.

Just imagine for a moment these words uttered to you:

There is a place where words are born of silence,

a place where whispers of the heart arise.

There is a place where voices sing your beauty,

a place where every breath carves your image in my soul.

This is part of a poem by Rumi

I just love Rumi.

Imagine it though if when you came home from work or a long walk on the beach

you move toward your mail box excited

because it seems as though your lover

should be sending you a message soon.

Imagine a parchment envelope with your name and address

lovingly written in magnificent and antiquated script...

Already you would know this is special.

You would delicately open this envelope because you would take care with

something that your sweetheart had worked that hard on.

And now imagine you pulling out a piece of

really beautiful parchment, perhaps written on pink to express 

love and softness to you... it would be obvious that every aspect of

this letter would be planned specifically and very special.

Now imagine these words written on the paper:

 

-OR-

Every question I ask is about you,

every step I take is toward you.

I slept well last night,

but I woke up drunk.

I must have dreamt about you.

and imagine that your lover took the time not only to write in 

old world script, 

but that time was taken to embellish a few of the letters with

color and gilt gold.

How would that be for you?

How much deeper do you think you would find your connection to your sweetheart?

Wouldn't it be better than turning on your computer

checking e-mail

with nothing really said?

Here is my point, 

the next time you want to do something for the people you love, invite them to dinner and give them hand written menus or create place cards.

The next time you want to make a difference to your lover,

take the time to find some beautiful words,

beautiful paper,

and let your beautiful heart guide you as you create

a work of art that is powered by your incredible heart.

Your life is art my darlings,

never forget!