Monday, April 27, 2009

Choices in Change

In life we are gifted with opportunities. These opportunities are often called problems by many people. I have been lucky enough to alter my perception enough to search for the myriad of lessons within the opportunities that lifes seems to hand me, and to learn from them.

This is my Qi Gong Teacher Jeff Primack of We are currently on the 3rd day of the 4 day qi gong event... sooo cool and yet, I was unable to attend today... an opportunity visited me today.

I found myself faced with a choice... be-moan and cry over what I thought I was missing or to utilize my time wisely in a proactive and productive manner. I have to say that I spent some time be-moaning this opportunity... yet I stayed sharp for the other possibilities that might present themselves.

In the process of be-moaning... I visited on the phone with a friend I haven't talked to in months... we have missed eachother. I learned about myself and my own limitations and the ways in which life winds it's way around them to make them true for me... time to bust through some limitations. It never ceases to amaze me how life in completely separate houses can mirror itself so perfectly... time to stop managing my loved ones and manage myself... what a lesson!

So I had some sushi makings for lunch! Well before I did that, I applied Reiki to my current opportunity, and then I cleaned out my pantry... this was very needed. I haven't allowed myself much time to integrate after changing my life in a million different ways. I haven't given myself time to mourn some changes and to accept them simply for what they are... changes.

In all the time I have been on this conscious spiritual journey of mine... since I was 19, I have always understood that everything changes. Relationships change... even when we don't want them to... even when we tend to work with the changes we can't ever be sure the people we love will want the same things or be willing to do the same kind of work. As both of my children are either 18, or getting ready to become 18, I am recognizing that this mother daughter relationship is changing even more than I thought it would. I am realizing that they are ready for even more independance than this liberal mom was aware of, and that only I am really concerned with what is best for me and my good because they are currently concerned with what is best for themselves; they have not yet graduated into cooperation and team work... only time will assist in that.

I always fancied myself God's babysitter... always knew they were not MINE... just visiting for a few years and now I find myself with opportunities! Reiki is whispering in my ear to remember my center... different tools are drifting into my mind when I come across a mess that an 18 year old should have cleaned up, or an independant 18 year old attitude so magnifiscent it would flatten the kings of the old world, how can I withstand that kind of wrath? Well honestly they won't live with me forever!

My plans were to have this incredible journey in my qi gong event... to enjoy and expand each and every moment and today I find myself sitting squarely in the midst of the mundane world... so much for expectations!
However NOTHING can really top being on a stage in front of over 2000 people doing qi gong and feeling the incredible energy that 2,000 people can create together in goodness and health. Well I suppose being on a stage infront of 5 or 10,000 people might top that... maybe we will see about that!
Keep up the good work my freinds... opportunities withstanding... maybe you will be doing something stupendous and awe inspiring and it will carry you through your next learning opportunity!

No comments:

Post a Comment