Lola

It's taken me far too long to finally sit down and try to figure out how to write this.

 

 

I recently went to West Virginia to help take care of my

partner's grandmother who was 96, almost 97 years young!

 

 

 

None of us expected things to happen the way they did.

 

She declined rapidly and my partner and her family

lost a really sharp minded, stunning woman.

I was lucky enough to witness the

incredible love and connection of this

stupendously large family.

 

 

Lola was the youngest of 15 children 16 if you count a twin that passed at birth.

I was privileged to hear Lola look at an old photo and tell us

the history of each sibling.  I got to feel for the

first time in my life what it must be to have family roots.

The land we were on was tilled by the blood, sweat, and tears of the Christopher family.

Truly their heritage laid in the very soil I walked on.

I didn't have that kind of family history so it was pretty

incredible to hear the stories and be shown the places where the family

had worked, lived, and loved.

 

 

 

My partners aunt and her husband just lived down the road to give Lola

the opportunity to have assistance but to retain her

independence.  I realized as we shared her home in those last days how

important her independence was to her and how very much

her family loved her to try and keep that option

open to her.

 

 

By the end of this visit that was filled with the deep sadness of losing

their loved one there was also a rekindling of the fire of family in the hearts

and minds of those Lola was connected to and served in her life.

She loved animals and there were reminders of that everywhere I turned.

It's no wonder that my partner has the huge heart that she does,

her Grandmother meant everything to her.  I got pretty

good at being able to pick out Lola's siblings from old photos of family

reunions and remembering who was married to whom.

 

 

 

I did what I could to help the family out,

it's not always easy to know what to do in a situation like that.

What I do know is that the lessons

in love, patience, and connection I learned while

I was there may be some of the most important lessons I have

ever been so honored to learn.

Her funeral was held in a church that her own mother made sure

was built, and to Lola's credit the gentleman

conducting the service never had dry eyes.  I find myself wishing I had

a little more time with Lola to hear about the history of her family

and to see life through her eyes.

 

 

 

My love for the elders of our world started with my own grandmother

and it continued when I became a nurse.  I have literally spent

hundreds of hours listening to late night stories, having cookie

tea parties, and shed tears with the elders of the communities

I have lived in as I worked in elder care for 10 years.  I have watched at their

lives have been turned upside down by disease and lack of money, I have watched as they have

been sequestered to 12x10 foot spaces and made to share a room

with a complete stranger.

I have watched as their choices have dwindled in

front of their eyes, to the point that they may not even be allowed

to choose their own clothing or take their time with their own

care because staff is rushed to meet quotas.

I have watched as once powerful people have been shrunken down to what

other people choose for them.

I can't tell you how relieved I am that this was not Lola's experience,

nor was it my grandmothers. Hospice made sure of that.

This is the reason I have decided to go back to school and

further my nursing education.

I want to work on hospice cases and be certain people always retain their dignity and choices.

I will be forever grateful to my partner for trusting me enough to allow me to care for her loved one, and forever grateful that Lola reminded me where the heart of my career

lies.



I love the quote that says

"Live like someone left the gate open!"

I've had some interesting inquiries regarding how to use Reiki in personal relationships recently.

The thing I find the most interesting is that my answer doesn't 

immediately come from the Reiki precepts or the symbols, or even specific Reiki training.

My answer comes from the golden rule

My answer comes from years of personal work

My answer comes from forgiveness

My answer comes from understanding that behaviors good and not so good come from

previous personal experiences, 

we can not honestly know what has shaped people,

what they have been through, nor can we always expect them to understand

that they are being unkind; 

because...

the people we share our lives with are doing the best they can just like we are,

and if someone holds an attitude that says other people are not doing the best they can...

well; I challenge

those people to stop worrying about the actions of others and get real about

your own shortcomings, 

we all have them.

Using Reiki to assist personal relationship healing is a fabulous way

to help create harmony, peace, and increase loving partnerships.

Reiki can not be measured or quantified or defined, 

therefore its workings are limitless and boundless.

 

 

And I can not say enough about doing your own WORK!

Freedom comes not from stepping on people or needing to puff up our egos to feel

good about ourselves.   

Real freedom comes from looking

at all the ways that the EGO attempts to take front stage in relationships,

and understanding

that EGO causes the insanity that demands attention and having everything our own way.

 

 

We can't change anyone else...

Reiki is not the magic pill that we use on our family, friends, or partner to "fix"

them or us.  Reiki is a tool that helps us to find

balance within the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of ourselves.

What a gift!

If you have come to me asking how to stop griping at your loved ones, 

judging people, how to feel worthy of love,

how to not be in repeated relationships that belittle you...

YES!

Reiki can help you 

 

 

 

AND

 

 

 

there is not an easy pill or prescription or one time fix to these issues.

 

 

 

It takes discipline and daily attention to watch what it is in you that invites some

of these behaviors.  It takes always looking at ourselves first and then taking ACTION

to make changes and forgive all the reasons we act in ways we aren't

proud of.

And loving others means we don't arbitrarily assume they are terrible people

because they are exhibiting bad behavior.  We take a moment out of the emotional

junk long enough to remember we love this person, then we apply LOGIC

to the situation.

That doesn't mean lie down and take it, but it does mean

diffusing emotion, doing our work regarding how we feel about the issue, and then deciding

if it really is about the other person or not.

Projection is a huge weapon that can inflict unresolvable wounds.

My loves,

do your daily Reiki precepts,

be aware of your own thoughts and energy,

be responsible for your words and deeds,

understand words and attitudes do wound others,

find a balance between personal work and personal play,

be sure that if you are going to deal with an issue that it is truly worth it,

use your symbols,

especially your distance symbol

to work on memories and thoughts that cause you pain and stress;

and remember if your own mind is out of control with repeating thoughts, worry, repetative stress

that isn't your child's, lover's, friend's, or family's fault,

it is your own, because you are not doing what it takes to calm those

thoughts and behaviors; 

so don't take it out on other people and if you do slip up and wound someone

be very generous with apologies and

even more generous with getting your own stuff together.

There is no free ride in 

living a conscious, loving, incredible life.

If you want to 

"Live like someone left the gate open"

Get real, stop the behaviors, make ammends,

get to work on your personal stuff,

and ALWAYS choose love my dears,

ALWAYS 

choose love!

I don't know if I will ever get used to  the synchronicities that

come with living a conscious healing filled life.

I Learned Reiki In the year 2000, that has been 13 years ago.

I spent the past 4 to 5 years less involved with Reiki...

I really never thought that would happen.

What I didn't understand as I waded through the trials and tribulations of the last few years

was that I had been working so deeply with Reiki for so many years

to be a beacon of light to others, focussed outside of myself and on the healing of others

that in a large way I forgot me.

Even though I utilized Reiki in my daily life my teaching schedule slowed down considerably,

my focus was on survival and I didn't seem to be able to 

grasp much more than that.  All the while I asked myself in the dark recesses of my mind

when not even I was listening, what indeed was going on?

At this point in my evolution I have come to the understanding that if I am to offer myself

in service to the world I have to balance my own care even more carefully than I 

have in the past.

That there can indeed be no excuse and far less laziness involved in my life

toward my own care.

That means saying no

It means weighing what I spend my energy and time on,

and making sure it serves me and my family.

It means boundaries with friends and family,

It means getting straight with money, time, health, food, basically everything.

It means supporting myself in my own good and supporting

others in knowing that they are

handling their lives just fine!

We have to remind ourselves that our own lives are our business,

when I work with another person their healing is indeed their business, not mine.

Facillitating healing means that I offer what I can...

then I release.

Release my own thoughts, feelings, opinions regarding my clients.

That I do my own work and deal with my own short comings.

Not long after I was reminded of this I began doing Reiki sessions again,

I began coaching again, and recently

have done more massage than I have in a long time.

I feel my life becoming more balanced and I 

feel myself coming out of the survival attitude and actions into 

a more powerful self empowered awareness.

I suppose I needed to spend some time int he swamps so that when it

was time to emerge I would recognize at even

more deep and intimate levels the love and good available

to me.

Nothing but good comes of this,

and the lessons of application of Reiki and

consciousness toward our own lives

most likely will remain never ending for me.

I feel that I have somehow graduated to a more mature understanding of Reiki

maybe a more mature understanding of life...

Definitely a more mature love of my life.

I am thankful beyond belief for those that I find in my life, thankful for those that have moved on, and deeply thankful how My Creotor and Reiki show up in the faces and places in my life

to remind me of my own divinity and the need to 

be aware and awake in my life.

It's the only way I can truly be ready to serve another person!!!