Monday, November 5, 2012

 "Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct.  I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees something in me worth loving.  That kind of love requires effort and discipline.  It is a choice to expend energy in an effort to benefit the other person, knowing that his or her life is enriched by your effort, you too will find a sense of satisfaction- the satisfaction of having genuinely loved another.  In fact, true love cannot begin until the in-love experience has run it's course."

~This is a quote taken from the book the 5 love languages written by Gary Chapman.~

I've been feeling this and talking about this for years.  The funny thing is that people want to have that jazzed up feeling sometimes far more than they want the grounded kind of love that comes from years of building foundations in the heart.  The jazzed up in-love feeling is intoxicating.
Who doesn't want that?

When the bubbles seem to dry up in the champagne...
When suddenly we are criticizing someone more than we are edifying them...
When we notice the imperfections more than the beauty...
When sex becomes an effort and a chore...
When we forget our happiness is our own responsibility and become
angry because our partner no longer makes us feel whole...

This is the time to make your choice.
Because it isn't about falling out of love with them, it is about
falling out of love with YOU!

Love is the reason we are here as far as I can tell...
relationships in family, 
our fellow humans...
Our lives matter

How we speak and act carries weight.
How we treat our loved ones is
incredibly telling of how we feel about ourselves.
When you are stressed do you take it out on those closest to you?
Do you take responsibility to keep a holy and loving space between 
yourself and those you love?

When you witness your loved one in a stressful state do you
find compassion?
Do you offer support?
Are you ready and waiting with a humble heart
and a kind and listening ear?

 The holidays are coming.
Some people dread this time of year due to family difficulties.
It is times when we are most uncomfortable,
times when we mess up the most,
times when we are out of control that hold our very souls to the 
deep fire of God and our Creator.
It is that fire that brings up deep emotion for us to know ourselves more deeply...

It isn't a time to blame ourselves for all of our limitations, misunderstandings, selfish behaviors, and 
all around unsavory actions...

It is the time to identify all the things in you that bar you from loving and being loved.
When we experience that moment that we want to shrivel up and never allow anyone close to our hearts again.  When we protect and feel afraid it is
the most pivital of moments for us...
Do we recognize our need to pull away, to cocoon, to hide, as
a rest our soul is asking for, or is it deeper than that?

To be available to be loving and to truly love someone you must 
be willing to love yourself, imperfect as you may be.
Forgive yourself, imperfect as you may be.
Choose to have quality in each relationship you put effort in.

Quality of love
Quality of earnestness
Quality of honor
Quality of peace
Quality of safety
Quality of steadfastness.

This is how we emerge the butterflies of our lives.
This is how we connect to the beauty of everything and live a meaningful life.
To love is a gift not a curse.

If you read this, maybe this year, if you don't already do this....
perhaps this year you will become love in the face of anything family, friends, or partner bring your way.

As you work with your practice of Reiki and being present in this moment....
remember that your loved ones don't always remember that
they are loved.
They don't always remember that they are deserving of love.
They don't always remember that they 
forgot how to be loving.

Remember that being loving and kind and gentle is NOT about getting what you want.
Love is about being available to walk hand in hand with your loved ones.
Love is gracious.
Love is solid.
Love does not waiver in a storm.
Love does accept everyone and everything.
Love says bring me your uglies and your woes
and I will hold you and them too.
Love says I understand
Love says I am sorry
Love says
I never want to know my life without your face in it.
Love recognizes itself in everything.