Listen With Your Heart!

 Isn't it interesting how the moments of our lives fit together to make a unique tapestry that can either

tell the story of all the glorious and beautiful moments of a life

or

It can illustrate pain and delusion and loss

depending on where we focus our heart?

It has taken me years and years and hundreds of hours of introspection and 

therapy to loosen that hold on my mind

and I still catch myself defining myself by my pain at times.

Our society does that.

We aren't taught to come together in joy, health, and balance

by our mentors for the most part.

Many of us have been taught by family that has been molded by their

own tragedy's to be there for each other when something goes awry.

What about the rest of the time, 

even our schools teach about atrocity, suffering, genocide...

I understand the need to educate about these things,,

yet many of us were never even given a glimpse of an antenna to feel,

notice, or seek joy.

 This picture is one of my favorites, my sweetheart doesn't really understand why.

I think she looks introspective, a bit serious, as her

wonderful doggy looks on from the corner.

She's surrounded by her favorite place and

I love the way she seeks happiness in her life, even as the sun rises to meet her.

She truly is one of the most powerful people I have ever met.

I've had many people in my life, people that have inspired me, 

people I have learned from and learned because of...

and the woman in this picture may just

be my biggest hero.

Not because she is someone who studies sacred texts,

eats organic and sustainable, meditates 10 hours a day, or can turn

herself into a tasty pretzel doing yoga...

nope she doesn't do any of that (right now).

She may be my biggest hero because she looks for

the good, joy, and fun in each day.  Because she absolutely recognizes

her own limitations and is honest about them, and

because she chooses not to let them define her.

Because no matter what she has been through she has an ineffable

understanding of herself that says 

"I can do anything and everything I want to do and no one can stop me!"

She is my hero because she saves little tiny fluffball doggies

from the mean streets of Orlando, because

she brings home organic eggs for me,

because she is so certain of her love for me she is a formidable force

of steadfastness that I can anchor to.

Because she loves God and believes in Karma 

and makes no apologies for herself unless really necessary and

ALWAYS 

takes responsibility for her actions good and not so good.

 

Because she laughs at my serious side,

because she laughs at my worries,

because she sees who I am when I don't.

Mostly though She may be my hero

because I have become so much better at listening with my own heart.

So much better at forgiving myself and others,

so much more able to choose love over fear.

She is fearless is so much of who she is and how she meets the world,

I can only hope to learn some of that from her.

So to me no Guru, lama, spiritual teacher, or reverend has

a higher place in my mind or heart.

No spiritual teaching, no new process,

nothing to me is more Spiritual than watching my sweetheart

meet life and it's challenges raw and real everyday.

There is such beauty in someone

like her that sometimes 

I feel like my heart is growing bigger and bigger and

it may not be contained within me

any longer.

Below is how  I see her everyday.

It's how she meets the world and I am so incredibly

thankful to be a part of that.

Joy is a daily part of my life and I love that I can share that

with her and that she is so great at 

teaching me more!!

What if you were about to get everything you ever wanted?

What if you were about to get everything you ever wanted?

How would you live your life every day?

I'm about to get everything I have ever wanted.

Nope it isn't a million dollars... it's worth more than that.

It's not a mansion, it has way more space than that, and the view of my life is 

quite a bit more spectacular than any silly mansion view.

It's not a new convertable sports car...

I know they are fun to drive

but driving my Soul is far more fun for me.

It isn't piles of jewels,

eating at expensive resturants,

nor is it traveling to places all over the globe...

although that may actually be in 

the cards.

I am about to get everything I have ever wanted because

I already have it!

I know it sounds insane but I realized it just this morning.

My children have grown into incredible people and they are

maneuvering through their lives learning to be better people... 

that indeed is all I have ever wanted for them.

I already have a supportive spiritual community,

a community that has continued to embrace me even though I moved over an hour away.

I am stepping back into my spiritual studies which gladdens my heart

in a way nothing else can...

through those studies I become so much closer to our creator within my heart.

I have indeed found that people I thought were my friends

have slipped away, creating a clean slate for 

me to renew and deepen my resolve to surround myself with people of high moral fiber

and quality.

I will be working again with a group of people that I just love.

I am honored to be welcomed back into that family of people, and feel

truly blessed to share that space with them again.

I had to leave the St Cloud area to heal and learn,

and to realize that my life and the people I care most about are easily accessible to me more near Orlando.

It is time to be with the people that love, adore, and support me.

My grandson is born, what more can be said there except I will be 

much closer to him and his mom and dad and I will see him more often.

Last but certainly not least.

I have yearned for a love that time would lie down and lay still for...

my entire life this is the one thing I have wanted.

When I was younger I believed that somehow all sadness would be fixed by finding that

one person I was MEANT to be with.

My life path number is 6... for those of you that don't know exactly what that means

it is a numerology way of finding out the theme of your life.

Mine fits me to a T!

Life path number 6 is the path of the caretaker.

It's the path of the stay at  home mom and the cook and the lover of

other people's happiness.

It is also the path of lessons and decision making and learning that there are indeed limits

to what one person could or should do.

It is the path of the people pleaser... an out of balance people pleaser will end up sickly...

and here I am

dealing with fibromyalgia flare ups.

The good news:

I have been given a love that time will indeed lie down and stand still for...

not in the literal terms of standing truly still,

but more in the terms that the internal landscape of my

heart finally feels free to see the views of love that fill every cell of my body,

erupts into my mind dragging down the unkind words and concepts that took root

and grew into cancers that broke down my own self worth

for so many years.

I have spent many years hacking my way free of the briars of judgements

passed on by well meaning people who said they loved me.

The mansion of my heart has expanded with vaulted ceilings,

gorgeous hard wood floors and staircases that shine.

Sunlight that glistens and sparkles on every surface.

The freedom to express one's self and to be loving must be one of the greatest

gifts ever.

The love that has entered my life is not perfect, 

no thing really ever is.

It's honestly the spirit of trying and trying again that made me realize that

I do indeed have everything I have ever wanted.

I have been told I dont have to work... but I choose to.

I have been told to do what makes me happy... I do choose this 

and...

I also choose her happiness as well.

I have been told I am the one.

I believe that to be true, not because of predetermination

(although that may have something to do with it)

but because I choose to be the one each day.

The real fairytale

it's not in thinking someone is going to fix whats wrong or fill up some kind of hole within us.

The real fairytale is recognizing that someone of quality has chosen you

to make mistakes with, to share grief with, to

be broken with, to be vulnerable with.

The beauty and happiness and everything going well stuff is the bonus of

the relationships in our lives.

AND

when someone trusts you enough to tell you their fears,

to admit things to you that they have never ever felt before,

to spend special secret moments so dialed in

to you and your happiness and what you need,

to be willing to give to you more than they give to themselves even if only sometimes,

when someone does not agree with your decision but holds

you as you make it and vows love and support anyway,

to support your spiritual choices and views and not understand them even if it may scare them,

for someone to admit they dont understand but are earnest about being willing to try ...

My God!

 that is the love time will lie down and stay still for.

Because my heart will always beat brighter,

stronger, fueled with more fire, love, and passion for my life

and the life I am now sharing with my partner.

Willingness is the key,

if we are at least willing then anything can be solved.

All this time,

I didn't recognize...

I already have everything I have ever wanted.

Girl scout rule

This is Amos he lives at pather ridge here in florida and I can't wait to meet him.

This pic really has nothing to do with my post tonight,

I just think he is a sexy guy!

Tonight I'm going to be short and sweet.

There is a rule in the Girl Scouts that I have always found to be important.

It goes along with the golden rule for me, 

you know;

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

The girl scouts say to leave a space 

cleaner and better than when you found it.

this includes actual buildings and nature.

I love that concept.

To care whether someone else does or not.

When I was younger I really didn't understand that concept.

Now though,

through my path of spirituality and my

practice of Reiki and the 5 principles

I really understand the deep understanding of leaving a thing to the best of your

ability better than when you found it.

 

 

This means relationships too.

Too many people use their painful past as a reason to treat others 

in an unkind fashion.

I have come a very long way from the immature girl that used a 

sharp tongue and fists to communicate my displeasure with perceived enemies.

One of the greatest gifts of a daily Reiki practice is to

reach deep inside and make a choice to leave

someone's heart better than you found it.

To me this means my family, friends, and fellow humans.

Each time I feel the need to get angry or begin to feel frustrated

I do my best to find the place within me that can honor the other person.

Because by honoring the other person I am really

honoring myself.

It doesn't mean that I choose to be hurt or abused.

It just means that I am committed to turning the other cheek

and asking for healing for myself and the person in question.

I truly believe that God is watching in one form or another.

At the end of my life I want to be able to 

sit with God and anyone else near by and feel proud of the decisions I made

when it comes to the treatment of life.

Nature, animals, humans... 

everything really.

Did I choose to honor life as often as possible?

Did I choose to find compassion when I could?

Did I remember to see myself in that person and choose a different way to perceive my world?

Did I choose to honor the creator of everything even when someone

else might be acting in an unkind way toward me???

If I never learned anything else in my life perhaps for me this is the most

incredible spiritual lesson of all.

Feeling challenged to do the right thing even in the face of those who do not.

Which way do I choose?

How do I honor peace within my heart and support peace within the world???

How have I honored my own learning by my actions?

Just for today ...

I will not anger

I will not worry

I will do my job honestly

I will be thankful for my many blessings

I will be kind to all living things....

Usui Sensei did not add

when I feel like it, only when I am not tired, only when other people are nice to me...

it isn't a sometimes thing

it's an everyday all the time thing...

and it is a reminder that I am certainly not perfect!!

 

 

Namaste!!!