Thursday, January 29, 2009

There is a hole in my toilet...

Honestly there really is a hole in my toilet bowl! I was not lying... And the hole in one, that the crystal candle holder made inside the bowl before afore mentioned hole in my toilet, was actually a stupendous feat... I am still wondering how one would figure out the odds of that happening. There must be some mathematician somewhere that could figure that out for me.

I read yesterday that a man shot and killed all 5 of his children his wife and himself due to losing his job. Sobering isn't it? I myself have had the flu since Sunday... and I still feel as though a train has whacked my backside.... ugh. There are so many people these days with so many stories and finding themselves pushed up against the wall of limitations.
I interviewed for a job about 3 or 4 weeks ago... great job at a brand spanking new medi-spa. They spent 25K on the massage room alone... can we say heaven? I want my fingers all over that! The interviewer said "hey I will call in a week and let you know what is happening." I waited a week and nothing happened, so I called... left a message left an e-mail... no answer. It has been another two weeks and my eldest said "hey mom did you hear from that job?" I said "well darling I left a message and sent an e-mail but I have not heard anything."

At this point I was how do they say it "schooled" in proper job seeking behavior by my daughter. Apparently times are changing folks, and the mission of a job seeker is to call 2 times a week until you have been given an answer. This reminds me of stalking somewhat, but hey why not try it? So I called once again, and actually got to speak to the interviewer... she will be calling for the second half of the interview in mid-february... now was that so hard to say? She actually said that she had not called anyone to let them know anything because she has been getting the building taken care of. I said thank you and I will be looking forward to hearing from you... yet my proverbial jaw is lying in the floor... why has she not communicated with the people that she interviewed? OOOPS here it comes...

This is when my "teacher" voice began inside my head.... CAN you hear it? You see I began making up a story inside my head... so old school. I began to be personally offended by my impending boss's behavior... by the fact that she hadn't cared enough to communicate. I mean what about me, what about my jobless state of affairs, what about the fact that I had to close my own business office in October and it feels like I have been waiting FOREVER already... doesn't this stranger even care? Let's get real... I am the one that cares... sheeeeesh! This is the time when humans, like myself, in my weakened flu-like state let the ego take over so that they can feel safe and secure in the knowledge that they are "right" and someone is "wrong". Because obviously my super hero Reiki Master self wouldn't be waivered by this kind of behavior... muahahahahaha... Byron Katie and Eckhert Tolle would be great neighbors right about now!

I know I know... My Inner Reiki Teacher is chanting words inside my head again... "If it is meant to be..." Well yes I know in the higher states of awareness that this job or any job that I apply for I will get because it is meant to be... here is the hard part... being patient whilst wondering how the bills will be paid. AND attempting to be comfortable with a hole in my toilet and malfunctioning air conditioning while living in Florida... glad it is winter here! Even healers, Reiki Masters, Doctors, Nurses, Ministers, contractors, millionaires, and poor people sometimes get a hole in their toilet!

These are the days when Reiki matters the most in my life. These are the days when everything I have learned and everything I have taught come to bear inside my own mind. I love to hear my students say well this and that... parroting things I have said whilst helping them through similar issues and they are right, AND, I also have to honor where I sit, how it feels, and work from there as well. The human is not quiet, but the human is important as well, and it is from the human perspective that we get into trouble when we don't understand the wants, needs, desires of the human experience, and the way we have ignored and judged that part of our existence.

Sometimes things just are what they are. We live in a dual world, black and white and all of the colors in between. It is in the ebbs and flows that we learn and grow. The interesting ride for me is, that I can choose to be hurt, angry, resentful, miserable, and broken... or I can choose to recognize that things can always get better, that everything happens for a reason, that this too shall pass, and that sometimes things feel like crap because they just do... but it does NOT mean anything... no one is being punished the world is not ending it is just a cycle... I can choose and in that freedom is born. Everything is energy and in an ebb what I can indeed look forward to is the flow!

I have to say my inner drama diva really wants a voice here, and the fact that I know that puts me ahead of the game so to speak, because I can dialogue through all of the fear and blame and shadow energy that I have not uncovered yet. That means that this is all good... the good, bad, ugly, joyful... none of it matters as long as we keep judgement out of it and move it. Gary Young said on a recent cd I was listening to something like this. "Let it go, release that anger and rage why hold on to it, it isn't any good for you. For that matter release that joy too.. let it flow in and through you..." the point is stopping something and attempting to hold on to it because we do not know when things will be better or holding on to something because it might go away is pointless. Everything is energy everything is in a constant state of flow...we have no control over that.
Thanks for hanging out with me today,
I wish you a great weekend!
p.s. seriously... what are the odds of a hole in your toilet bowl made by a crystal candle holder?

1 comment:

  1. Hi Tara,
    Thank you for visiting my blog. I greatly appreciate it. I hope that you will return in the future. Thanks again and keep up the great work on your blog. Rick